Onoes does Phoenix, Atlanta, Colorado, and... your sister?

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
1,482
1,290
I turn 35 in November.

As for the hair and the piercings, it's for the attention. Granted this will bring unwanted attention as well, but I don't mind dealing with that, when a byproduct is that lots of wanted attention is also given.

As an example -

Me at Christmas, basically 6 months ago.

rrr_img_70394.jpg


And another picture of me a couple of days ago.

rrr_img_70395.jpg


So here's thing. As guys, you pretty much don't give a fuck. In the first picture you go "fat guy" and in the second picture you go "idiot/weirdo". Obviously thats a gross generalization on my part, but by and large I imagine that to be the case.

Now, lets say you are a lady, and you are introduced to a group of people that includes both of these guys. Which one are you more likely to talk to? Assume they are both smiling and laughing and seem to be having a good time. I feel like option 2 is just a lot more interesting. Even though they are the same guy. I pride myself on my personality, and so, once I get people talking to me, it tends to go well. The hardest part is initiating that conversation, basically attracting enough interest to engage them. Once that's done though, it's typically smooth sailing.

As a real world example, I was introduced to a girl a couple of weeks ago at a dinner party. I tried to talk to her as she was sitting right next to me, but she was very disinterested. She was nice and polite, but never really looked at me or engaged more than she needed to. I got back from Cali Sunday night, and ran into her while running around Monday. I stopped by a friends house to drop a cable off, and she happened to be there, and she kind of freaked out with "Whoa, that is awesome, is that your real hair, ohh my god, etc etc". I had to tell her she had met me a couple of weeks ago. I was the guy in the hat sitting next to her, minus the piercings. She said something along the lines of "Ohh wow, that's crazy, you just seemed like a normal guy, sorry I didn't remember you, its crazy because I just didn't even really register you, you just seemed so normal." Something like that.

So yeah, am I interested in dating this girl? Not really, no. Would I like to have sex with her? Sure. Do I think my chances of that have just gone from none to likely? Yeah, I kind of do.

So, thats pretty much the point of it, and within 24 hours seems to already be working as intended.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,513
16,496
Looking at the two pics it does scream mid-life crisis, but if it works for you and we get hilarious stories then I'm all for it.
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
Onoes, I would fuck you if I saw you bent over beginning for cock and jizz. Come to San Francisco. You'll be on time for Dore Alley or Folsom.
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
I'm just saying if he was BENT OVER. But, if I saw the face I would probably (most likely) pass. I'm not into chubs. Blackyce would be his department, really. The guy's into fat.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
44,215
53,321
I'm just saying if he was BENT OVER. But, if I saw the face I would probably (most likely) pass. I'm not into chubs. Blackyce would be his department, really. The guy's into fat.
Nobody is more shallow than a gay!
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
17,084
8,088
Do you want to fuck people that look similar to what you've made yourself look? Because that's likely the type of people that you'll attract attention. Case and point: Kuriin requested you bend over, thus hiding those hideous hair horns and piercings, before he'd consider fucking you.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,513
16,496
Do you want to fuck people that look similar to what you've made yourself look? Because that's likely the type of people that you'll attract attention. Case and point: Kuriin requested you bend over, thus hiding those hideous hair horns and piercings, before he'd consider fucking you.
Small correction but not only would he have to be bent over, he'd have to be begging for cock and jizz
 

chaos

Buzzfeed Editor
17,324
4,839
He can't eat the jizz out of your ass while bent over, bro. At some point you're going to have to come to term with the horns.
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
17,084
8,088
Does the person have to be begging for cock, or does the asshole itself have to be begging for cock? You know, a smallish gape with strong flexes. I must know if I ever need to present myself to a gay man. Indecent proposal kind of stuff.
 

darkmiasma

Trakanon Raider
927
851
The piercings are fine, but you look fucking retarded with that hair - shave that shit off, it's just STD-bait - you'll get plenty of crazies with the piercings alone.
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
17,084
8,088
I think that's what everyone assumed his true purpose was, even Onoes. He'll have to update his Jurassic Park truck to a Hunger Games chariot.
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
1,482
1,290
Teenage girls and gay dudes? Sounds like this is going to be an interesting year.

Also, I'm working on the weight Kuriin! Down 26 pounds from January 1st. So, don't worry bro, I'll make myself pretty enough for you, just wait for it. <3

Gay.
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
1,482
1,290
I think that's what everyone assumed his true purpose was, even Onoes. He'll have to update his Jurassic Park truck to a Hunger Games chariot.
Nope, teenage girls still love the Jurassic park truck. I have a 16 and an 18 year old sister, and I've let them borrow it to impress their friends. So, I should be solid on that front too. :p
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
Teenage girls and gay dudes? Sounds like this is going to be an interesting year.

Also, I'm working on the weight Kuriin! Down 26 pounds from January 1st. So, don't worry bro, I'll make myself pretty enough for you, just wait for it. <3

Gay.
Hot. Just know I don't pull out. You'll get to incubate my babies!
 

Profundis

Silver Knight of the Realm
795
3
I think you should amend your itinerary and make your way to Jersey. I can just imagine the type of shit you and J49 would get into.