Is it your position that you and your family were completely dead broke living in govt housing making $0/yr and now you're getting your phd and you support your mom living in a $200k+ house in suburban rhode island?
Yeah, this is what I tell myself when I want to feel better.
But the problem, the root of my unhappiness at the moment and ultimately the source of my constant whining, is that I'm
notgetting my PHD now, because I'm stuck working at this job 60+ hours a week, and had to leave my fellowship offers on the table to pay the bills.
Therefore, all of that time I spent in school feels wasted, because I could have just gotten a shitty IT job without ever going back to college.
The psychologist my company sent me to agreed with this assessment of my situation. He encouraged me to quit as soon as possible and go back to school, but that's not an option right now, and he had no other advice beyond that besides trying to find a slightly less-shitty job.
I realize I'm a whiny bitch who absolutely sucks at every aspect of life. But look at my life from my perspective. My mom has never worked a day in her life (I checked her social security records.) My stepfather treated me like I had absolutely no value as a person and my only worth in life was doing his menial yard work/house chores and taking care of my mom. He did everything in his power to make it so I couldn't leave the house, have friends (insert jokes about how I wouldn't have friends anyway,) drive, etc.
Intellectually I understand that, despite sucking at life to a degree that is nearly metaphysically impossible, I'm still doing better than a lot of people. Especially a lot of people who've been financially wiped out by 2 major natural disasters in the past 6 years.
But slogging into that sewer-smelling excuse for a NOC, it certainly seems like my life is way, way way off track. I've worked hard my whole life, and it hasn't amounted to shit.