Breaking the Spirit of a Willful Child...

Shonuff

Shonuff

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So child #2 continues to be the direct opposite of #1. #1 gets straight A's (OK, a B in math) and has never had a disciplinary problem in her life. The boy, while he gets good scores in first grade, is showing a capacity to not listen to his teachers. I've been called into the Principal's office on this one. He doesn't like to be corrected, even when learning something new. He had a substitute teacher come in, and he didn't like her correcting him, so he refused to do his work. I go to the Principal's office, and he's ignoring the Principal.

I'm at my wit's end. I took away his video games last time for two weeks. He hated that. He's on punishment again. I got an email from the teacher stating that he's doing his work, but when his friends start cutting up in class, he cuts up with them.

I don't want him to grow up to be a loser. Maybe we are being too soft on him because he's the baby? I'm further concerned because he'll inherit a great deal of assets, and the last thing the world needs is another spoiled rich kid.

I need to nip this in the bud now, but don't know how. Nobody gave me an owner's manual with this thing.
 
Lanx

Lanx

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Put a GPS tag on him, drive him out to the woods stop on the side of the road and just look straight ahead and say

"Get Out"

don't look at him

don't answer him

"Get Out"

When he finally does, peel loose like Vin disel, don't look in the mirror, cuz you'll probably loose your nerve and stop, just keep going.

Once he stops crying, and starts to wander around in the woods, you can pick him up.

Don't tell him the reason, he'll figure it out.
 
Palum

Palum

what Suineg set it to
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Vinen said:
Take him to a child psychologist.
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No need, just give him Ritalin OTC.

Also, you could just set up a will/trust where he only gets 1 dollar for every dollar he earns above minimum wage or something. No more Barista-millionaire for you, young gender studies graduate!

Does he act like this at home or does he take direction from some people, just not at school? May be social environment (first grade is probably a 'traumatic' change in environments). What do you mean 'correcting' him, though? Like teacher says "2+2 = 4" and he hulks out and flips his desk over?
 
iannis

iannis

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He's what? 8 years old? It's social expression. He's socializing. It's a thing. It's a stage of personality development.

You take him to a shrink and they're just gonna diagnose him with some ADD/ADHD/ADDHDDSDD bullshit and put him on pills.

But dude, he's in 1st grade.

Jerk a knot in him and be very specific about "me getting called down to the principals office to bail your little ass out is not a thing that we are going to continue doing". And give it six months.

And no shit, maybe get him involved in little league or something. A little bit of structure with a coach and kids his age and a setting where you can socialize, strive, and act out all at the same time. Might work might not. But it's better than a lifelong pill addiction and maybe worth a shot.
 
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Shonuff

Shonuff

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Noodleface said:
He's only 6?
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He's 6 and in the first grade. In general, he's never followed the rules, even at home. I used to worry about whether or not he'd follow the rules at school. And now he's not. I don't want him to do this when he's older, I want to nip it in the bud now.
 
chaos

chaos

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iannis said:
And no shit, maybe get him involved in little league or something. A little bit of structure with a coach and kids his age and a setting where you can socialize, strive, and act out all at the same time. Might work might not. But it's better than a lifelong pill addiction and maybe worth a shot.
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This actually isn't a bad idea. Some kids with behavioral issues sort it out when put in a sport of some kind. Martial arts, baseball, soccer, etc. Something like that.
 
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ZyyzYzzy

ZyyzYzzy

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chaos said:
This actually isn't a bad idea. Some kids with behavioral issues sort it out when put in a sport of some kind. Martial arts, baseball, soccer, etc. Something like that.
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This or he isn't being mentally challenged enough in school.
 
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Abefroman

Abefroman

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Shonuff said:
So child #2 continues to be the direct opposite of #1. #1 gets straight A's (OK, a B in math) and has never had a disciplinary problem in her life. The boy, while he gets good scores in first grade, is showing a capacity to not listen to his teachers. I've been called into the Principal's office on this one. He doesn't like to be corrected, even when learning something new. He had a substitute teacher come in, and he didn't like her correcting him, so he refused to do his work. I go to the Principal's office, and he's ignoring the Principal.

I'm at my wit's end. I took away his video games last time for two weeks. He hated that. He's on punishment again. I got an email from the teacher stating that he's doing his work, but when his friends start cutting up in class, he cuts up with them.

I don't want him to grow up to be a loser. Maybe we are being too soft on him because he's the baby? I'm further concerned because he'll inherit a great deal of assets, and the last thing the world needs is another spoiled rich kid.

I need to nip this in the bud now, but don't know how. Nobody gave me an owner's manual with this thing.
Click to expand...


Does he have access to a lot of toys and electronics like video game systems? I know he is young but really the only thing I can think of is just take away all his entertainment and explain why. Also the thing that worked the most on me when I was young was guilt. They wouldn't get mad at me or even give me a chance to go on the defensive. They would tell me how sorry there were at failing as parents and promised to be there for me when I ended up in jail or dropped out of school. That fucking killed me when they did that.
 
Shonuff

Shonuff

Mr. Poopybutthole
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iannis said:
He's what? 8 years old? It's social expression. He's socializing. It's a thing. It's a stage of personality development.
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The teacher did say that she wanted him to be less shy around other kids. She said he was quiet and kept to himself. Now he's gone the other way, and doesn't know when it's time to stop playing.

I wish I could just say it's a phase in social development, but in general, he resists structure and rules alot.
 
Shonuff

Shonuff

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Abefroman said:
Does he have access to a lot of toys and electronics like video game systems? I know he is young but really the only thing I can think of is just take away all his entertainment and explain why.
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Between the video game systems and the emulators, there's somewhere north of 60,000 videogames in my house. And right now, he can't use any of that. The teacher has also stated that the kids that are acting up will not be allowed to participate in any of the year end parties.
 
Soygen

Soygen

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2nd children are the worst, I hear. I was a 2nd child and my mom seems to agree with that theory. Good luck!
 
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Cutlery

Cutlery

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Manual labor seems to solve behavioral problems quicker than anything else around my house. My oldest even tells my youngest "you might wanna start listening to dad, or you're gonna be pulling weeds all day."

Yeah, you can take away privileges and stuff, but that never seemed to fully rectify the problem, they just find other things to do to wait out their sentence. But a day getting up at 7 and heading out in the sun doing menial yard work while all the kids are out in the neighborhood playing? That's where the attitude seems to shift pretty quickly. Pull weeds, stack firewood, trim trees, rake leaves, pick up the black walnuts, shovel snow, move landscaping rock, turn over the flower beds, whatever. I guarantee you there's work available outside the house, so find something for him to do and I'm willing to bet he'll remember it.

Plus, if he doesn't, you're just training him for his eventual career anyway!
 
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T

Tenks

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Probably just a phase and he'll grow out of it. I was a bit of a troublemaker throughout elementary school and especially in middle school. I turned out alright. I still have a healthy hatred for authority.
 
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Cutlery

Cutlery

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Shonuff said:
My worry exactly.
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The good news is that most people turn out okay.

The bad news is that it's a long way until 18 or 19 when they finally do. My oldest is coming up on 16 and I'm still having the same complaints about her being obstinate and lazy today as I was 10 years ago. I'm assuming that having more responsibility like a job and having other role models will help alleviate this problem like it does for most people. Most kids just don't wanna listen to their parents, but they're fine learning lessons from other people who aren't their parents.
 
Control

Control

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Shonuff said:
when his friends start cutting up in class, he cuts up with them.
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Shonuff said:
He's 6
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When my friends cut up, so do I, and I'm somewhat older than 6.

Schools are shit for boys. If you had to sit through his class, you wouldn't want to listen to the teacher either. Homeschool him, give him a 20 year business apprenticeship instead of school/college, and he'll learn 100 times more than any of his classmates.

If you want him to actually be able to responsibly manage the assets he gets, do you really think the traditional, institutional school system will prepare him for that? At BEST, it prepares people to be employees. How many employees have you ever known that you'd feel comfortable handing off your business to?
 
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