Crazy Neighbor Need Advice

Drajakur_foh

shitlord
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ashatumar said:
This story needs a Twilight Zone ending... like he wakes up and realizes he is a single, unemployed/unpublished writer who is kept up everynight by a vibrarting noise from his upstairs neighbor.

Who wants to take this Hitchcock ending? Someone else grab the Kubrick ending.
I"m going with the obvious option:

CrazyHag decides one night that she has just had enough, steals down into the hallway and ambushes Stehle, murdering him most hideously. Buries his body deep in the back yard...and is thereafter kept awake by the soft thud-thud-thud of Stehle"s still-beating heart!

Thanks Poe.
 

stehle_foh

shitlord
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eerily quiet...

We haven"t seen (or heard) the crazy neighbor for over a week now. I don"t know where she went but the LL seems to think she is probably with her father in TX.

One wierd thing though. We know she isn"t home (because there is no sound from upstairs) but two nights ago we saw a light on inside the apartment. It wasn"t a light which was obvious from the outside-- you had to be at a certain angle to peer in past her second story front porch, through the door to an interior room. We have never noticed this light before.

The crazy neighbor has commented that she puts her lights on timers when she is gone, but it seemed strange that she would put an interior light on a timer that no one could actually see from the outside unless they were in a specific location. I will check tonight to see if the light is still on.

And to pre-empt the other questions-- there is no funny smell coming from upstairs (as of yet).
 

masteen_foh

shitlord
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Crazy bitch probably has every, single light in the entire house on a random timer. Wonder if those were the source of the inlollerable vibrations...

p.s. If she sleeps so well when she"s back in Texas, WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE KEEP LEAVING? The only thing I can come up with is that her dad knows that she"s crazy, and that eventually someone would invoke Texas" coolest law, the Needful Killin" Statute.
 

Kaige

ReRefugee
<WoW Guild Officer>
5,427
12,259
She"ll probably be less uptight and sleep better after getting fucked in the ass by her father a few times. Probably why she goes.


Timers? Ummm vibration central. Especially if they"re old ones. Some of those cheap plastic ones you plug into the wall can even make noise. My grandmother had some of them she"d had for years, and some of them would vibrate in the socket so much, you could hear them.


You should just tell her the vibrations are coming from her own skin. Its rebelling against her. The only way to deal with rebellious skin is by tearing it off. The next one that grows in may be more cooperative.
 

Eduardo_foh

shitlord
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Kaige said:
Timers? Ummm vibration central. Especially if they"re old ones.
Worthy point. Have you talked to her about her timers and how you can hear them through the ceiling? How many of them does she use? What other sources of vibration can be found in her apartment? (haha I know what some of you are thinking.)
 

ashatumar_foh

shitlord
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Take advantage and do the grease on mirrors prank while she"s out. You know, she showers, and gets out, and it says "Get out" on her bathroom mirror.
 

khorum

Murder Apologist
24,338
81,363
Dude 2 weeks in texas is a perfect alibi. I bet she"s across the street dressed up as a bum with a sniping rifle tucked in her grocery cart waiting for the perfect time to take you out!
 

Everlast_foh

shitlord
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Please put a dildo in her mattress while she is gone, and find a way to turn it on with a wireless control. Then during the next double blind test, turn that bitch on and lol at the results.
 

Kaige

ReRefugee
<WoW Guild Officer>
5,427
12,259
This calls for a great Fight Club quote:


Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don"t worry about ticking "cause modern bombs don"t tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it"s an electric razor, but every once in a while...
[whispering]
Airport Security Officer: it"s a dildo. Of course it"s company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
Narrator: I don"t own...
[Officer waves Narrator off]
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
16,386
7,388
I read the book a little while back, and there were a couple scenes I can"t figure out why they left out. From a money standpoint, why wouldn"t you want to show the first scene where Tyler and Narrator met?
 

James

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
2,804
7,056
Kaige said:
This calls for a great Fight Club quote:


Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don"t worry about ticking "cause modern bombs don"t tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it"s an electric razor, but every once in a while...
[whispering]
Airport Security Officer: it"s a dildo. Of course it"s company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
Narrator: I don"t own...
[Officer waves Narrator off]
Creepy. I haven"t seen this movie in like 3 years and I was quoting this exact part to one of my friends the other day.
 

mikenar_sl

shitlord
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hehe, i live in the middle of nowhere, and late at night i would hear/feel a vibration in the house, and couldnt for the life of me figure out what it was.... till i figured out i never ate at home and unpluged my fridge, tada.. nor more vibration/sound... could be a culprit..
 
James said:
Should fly a plane into her apartment and then cover it up and make it look like the evil terrorists did it because no one in the 500 million bajillion man crew it would take to pull it off would ever leak any portion of the cover up to anyone anywhere. Fly one into her mom"s house too, for misdirection.
By your own logic, it takes 500 million bajillion crew to pull it off?

Or two dozen sand jockeys in an opium field country. And if there were no whistle blowers from the two dozen camel jockeys, who is to say the most devout, corrupt, patriotic, power hungry, plan for the new american centry activist would blow a whistle, when *gasp* his plan for the new american century indeed was coming real?

Which is more believeable? The wealthiest nation"s upper echelon plans and carries out a Pearl Harbor type attack in order to instigate a strong military presence near the two largest oil fields on the planet? Or one of the poorest bunch of terrorists who"s prior claim to fame was some suicide bombings on african embassies, shooting down a pair of black hawks, and putting a 5x5 hole in the U.S.S. Cole.

I bet you didn"t know Bin Laden was a CIA operative during the Afghan/Soviet war. I bet you didn"t know we thought Iraq had WMD because Rumsfield was holding the sales receipt from the Reagan Administration.

Go on believing whatever you will sheeple.

Furthermore talking about coverups.... ever heard of Deepthroat? The watergate whistle blower, who"s identity was SHIELDED until his death just recently... Nixon has been dead for how long? And this man still feared for his life and safety, thus keeping his identity hidden.

The same fear of death that beats the drums of patriotism, the same fear of death will be used to erode the bill of rights.
 

Taranatar_foh

shitlord
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SalaciousTunare said:
By your own logic, it takes 500 million bajillion crew to pull it off?

Or two dozen sand jockeys in an opium field country. And if there were no whistle blowers from the two dozen camel jockeys, who is to say the most devout, corrupt, patriotic, power hungry, plan for the new american centry activist would blow a whistle, when *gasp* his plan for the new american century indeed was coming real?

Which is more believeable? The wealthiest nation"s upper echelon plans and carries out a Pearl Harbor type attack in order to instigate a strong military presence near the two largest oil fields on the planet? Or one of the poorest bunch of terrorists who"s prior claim to fame was some suicide bombings on african embassies, shooting down a pair of black hawks, and putting a 5x5 hole in the U.S.S. Cole.

I bet you didn"t know Bin Laden was a CIA operative during the Afghan/Soviet war. I bet you didn"t know we thought Iraq had WMD because Rumsfield was holding the sales receipt from the Reagan Administration.

Go on believing whatever you will sheeple.

Furthermore talking about coverups.... ever heard of Deepthroat? The watergate whistle blower, who"s identity was SHIELDED until his death just recently... Nixon has been dead for how long? And this man still feared for his life and safety, thus keeping his identity hidden.

The same fear of death that beats the drums of patriotism, the same fear of death will be used to erode the bill of rights.
I have a theory that the sun actually revolves around the earth!!eleventyone!!11!! WHAT THE GOVERNMENT DOESN"T WANT YOU TO KNOW.