Depression

TheBeagle_sl said:

Ya I apologized for being a douche, even though I don't think I was being a douche...but whatevs. I guess not everyone can be a hardened, cynical smartass. Seems to have smoothed things over, but definitely updating my filters and re-thinking if I actually want to get get serious with her.

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Joking about medical issues are only funny if you don't suffer from them. Retard jokes can be funny, but not when directed to a genuine retard. So you weren't being a douche in a global sense, but you were to her. And this is coming from one of the most blindly insensitive people on the planet.

In any case, and I may be lacking some compassion here, but dating someone who is clinically bipolar is inviting all sorts of problems into your life. Meds may control it as long as she takes them (and the side-effects aren't good), but she's still going to go cray-cray on you at some point, and in my world even the normal woman offers way enough of that for me already. Why do you want to keep your foot poised on the bear trap when it's still early in the relationship and you can still easily extricate yourself from it? Also, if she turns out to actually have BPD, you'll probably know by month 2-3 (or whenever she loves you) when she goes Jekyll and Hyde on your ass. Dated two BPD's in my time (I think it's highly underdiagnosed) and holy fuck you'll want to kill yourself and her. The problem with BPD is the characteristics/symptoms pretty much sound like any generic chick in a pissed off/rage/histrionic state, minus the cutting part.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

Joking about medical issues are only funny if you don't suffer from them. Retard jokes can be funny, but not when directed to a genuine retard. So you weren't being a douche in a global sense, but you were to her. And this is coming from one of the most blindly insensitive people on the planet.

In any case, and I may be lacking some compassion here, but dating someone who is clinically bipolar is inviting all sorts of problems into your life. Meds may control it as long as she takes them (and the side-effects aren't good), but she's still going to go cray-cray on you at some point, and in my world even the normal woman offers way enough of that for me already. Why do you want to keep your foot poised on the bear trap when it's still early in the relationship and you can still easily extricate yourself from it? Also, if she turns out to actually have BPD, you'll probably know by month 2-3 (or whenever she loves you) when she goes Jekyll and Hyde on your ass. Dated two BPD's in my time (I think it's highly underdiagnosed) and holy fuck you'll want to kill yourself and her. The problem with BPD is the characteristics/symptoms pretty much sound like any generic chick in a pissed off/rage/histrionic state, minus the cutting part.

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It's too late, I'm pretty much head over heels at this point and so is she. We spent the weekend together last week doing domestic shit and loved it. I know there's going to be some blow-ups but she's actively going to a shrink, taking her meds, and we have both been around the block enough times to realize that not every little argument has to turn into WWIII. Besides, I'm not exactly Mr. Perfect either. I've been waiting a long time to find someone that I have this kind of chemistry with and I'm not willing to blow it up and risk waiting another ten years to find it.

Troll_sl said:

So I finally took the plunge and made an appointment to see a therapist. Just... tired of feeling like this.

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Good for you.

I'm actually planning to see one myself during the summer. I like my life and am doing well, but pressures of grad school creep up over time and caused some difficulties recently. I'm taking it as a catalyst to work on a few longstanding things I haven't been able to work out on my own. Interesting stat: clients at my university's counseling center are 50% undergrad, 50% grad students. Yet the population is probably 5% grad students at best.

TheBeagle, I'm impressed at your nonjudgmental attitude about this girl. If only everyone was like that. Note I'm not saying mental health shouldn't factor into dating considerations, but all too often people demonize those with mental illness as broken or unworthy of respect and dignity.

By the way, there is no scientifically supported pharmo treatment for BPD. So if meds work to stabilize her, there's no reason to suspect misdiagnosed BPD. Also, while bipolar has *historically* been way overdiagnosed in specific populations (mostly children) who would more appropriately have some kind of personality disorder trajectory or conduct disorder-->ASPD trajectory, that practice has been largely ending for the past few years.

The bipolar/personality-disorder-trajectory differential is difficult in children, but not so much in adults. The main features of BPD are suicide/self injury, highly unstable relationships, and severe emotion dysregulation (ie being unable to control or modulate emotional reactions, esp negative ones). Bipolar(I) is characterized by lengthy periods of depression, symptom absence, and mania which cycle periodically and last generally for weeks or occasionally longer. Mania is elevated mood or irritability, reduced need for sleep or food, flight of ideas, disinhibition, etc. Symptoms are usually effectively managed, but not perfectly, by medication.

Both are serious diagnoses, but differ significantly from one another

My issues really aren't that severe. Mostly social anxiety. I haven't made any new friends in... years, and all my old ones have basically drifted away because life. The social anxiety has been feeding latent depression that I've kind of lived with my whole life, and it's been making me feel even more like shit.

I tried going to a meetup last week, but I started panicking and noped the fuck out. I have no problem if I'm forced into a social situation (like at work), but if I'm just on my own...

Pretty confident I can beat this. Just need help.

I didn't go to my follow-up appointment with my counselor. I got a good feeling about this year, like it's finally gonna be my last.

Gavinrad_sl said:

I didn't go to my follow-up appointment with my counselor. I got a good feeling about this year, like it's finally gonna be my last.

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I didn't go to the gym today like I should have. Fortunately that doesn't prevent me from going tomorrow.

Beagle, just make sure she stays compliant with her medications. People with psychiatric disorders are known for having poor medication adherence. If she's also taking lithium, I'm sure she knows to keep an eye on her kidneys.

Troll_sl said:

My issues really aren't that severe. Mostly social anxiety. I haven't made any new friends in... years, and all my old ones have basically drifted away because life. The social anxiety has been feeding latent depression that I've kind of lived with my whole life, and it's been making me feel even more like shit.

I tried going to a meetup last week, but I started panicking and noped the fuck out. I have no problem if I'm forced into a social situation (like at work), but if I'm just on my own...

Pretty confident I can beat this. Just need help.

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I have the same problem.

Healthy Food / Gym helped. As did online dating. Still not totally fixed it myself.

Kuriin_sl said:

Beagle, just make sure she stays compliant with her medications. People with psychiatric disorders are known for having poor medication adherence. If she's also taking lithium, I'm sure she knows to keep an eye on her kidneys.

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WTF nobody told me to keep an eye on my fucking kidneys.

You can use lithium as an adjunct treatment for depression and it is also used for people who are chronically suicidal. It is best for treating mania (you can use Depakote too). It can damage your kidneys if you don't maintain proper hydration or if your psychiatric provider doesn't monitor your lithium level periodically (it has a very narrow therapeutic range). I tend to avoid lithium because it is a pain in the ass. It's great when you have someone in the hospital and you can check blood levels easily. Trying to get some of my outpatients to drag their dumb assess into the lab every 3 months to get a level checked is like pulling teeth and it is my ass on the line if they wreck their kidneys or worse (even though they are non-compliant with monitoring).

Gavinrad_sl said:

WTF nobody told me to keep an eye on my fucking kidneys.

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Lithium is metabolized in the kidneys. It's a salt. So, definitely keep an eye on the kidneys.

Well I mean I don't take my prescription. But still, I never got a warning about my kidneys!

Take meds as prescribed. If you start feeling better, get your doctor to stop prescribing meds. Don't just stop taking them. Its very typical to stop taking medication when you feel better because you're like, hey I don't need these anymore! But you only feel better because the meds are doing what they are supposed to

~13 years ago, I just up and stopped taking my ADD meds.

Worst decision of my life, I think. Instead of talking to the doctor about the behavioral side-effects, I felt I knew better. Me, the untrained mongoloid knowing better than the guy with 25+ years of experience.

ADD doesn't exist though. See France.

Trollface_sl said:

how much is lithium. sounds expensive as fuck.

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Thirty day supply is $4 at Wal-Mart.