Depression
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Big_w_powah
Trakanon Raider
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Almost feel bad posting this, but; I feel genuinely happy for the first time in awhile. I mean, I've gone through a lot of manic happy, but not real happy. My career took the fuck off, and my home life is improving.
I feel like I can rest for a few. It feels great. Wanted to thank everyone here for the massive amount of support you guys provide just by the shit posts every day and the smiles.
I feel like I can rest for a few. It feels great. Wanted to thank everyone here for the massive amount of support you guys provide just by the shit posts every day and the smiles.
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You shouldn't feel bad about posting that at all. Honestly, everyone would lose hope if there was no way out. You turning shit around and doing better is awesome and gives the rest of us hope to do the same. Life can hit fucking hard sometimes.
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Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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Well, my job is finally full time, I bought a 2013 Malibu, and I have a surprisingly entertaining betta fish.
Despite that I've mostly regressed to just sleeping a lot. As soon as I'm alone my mood falls off a cliff. Weekends are just a series of naps. Nothing holds interest for long.
The good(?) news is most barriers are now self-imposed. I'm nowhere near as constrained by the financial trap I was in, yet I'm even more closed off than before because so much time has passed and I've experienced so much failure. I'm that guy that gets released from prison and can't enjoy freedom because he has no idea how.
I'd do well in one of those old dystopian novels where no one has any freedom of choice.
Despite that I've mostly regressed to just sleeping a lot. As soon as I'm alone my mood falls off a cliff. Weekends are just a series of naps. Nothing holds interest for long.
The good(?) news is most barriers are now self-imposed. I'm nowhere near as constrained by the financial trap I was in, yet I'm even more closed off than before because so much time has passed and I've experienced so much failure. I'm that guy that gets released from prison and can't enjoy freedom because he has no idea how.
I'd do well in one of those old dystopian novels where no one has any freedom of choice.
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Big_w_powah
Trakanon Raider
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Get this shit the fuck out of this thread. I know "no personal attacks in grown ups blah blah"..But seriously, what the fuck?
As a man who has suffered from bipolar and depression, you can fuck this shit right off a cliff. Goddamn what the fuck.
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Springbok
Karen
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Booze, I had a similar business failure with my best friend a few years ago (and multiple lawsuits since), that put me through the ringer. Starting over was extremely tough, even with a solid understanding partner behind me so I can relate (but can't imagine) how hard it would be alone. All I can say is, unless your career is geographically locked I'd consider a change of scenery and starting the business again somewhere new. Fuck, I'd do that now if I wasn't in the oil business and locked to Texas or Oklahoma and I'm doing well again. Good luck man
Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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Some depressed people lash out at others. Sometimes they are such huge assholes they don't even know they are depressed because they project it all onto someone else.
I'm the type that keeps it to myself to not worry anyone or because I want to appear normal.
But then I'm also a guy who whined a lot about MMOs just because I was desperate for a common topic to discuss. I never even considered it complaining - just, discussing.
I'm the type that keeps it to myself to not worry anyone or because I want to appear normal.
But then I'm also a guy who whined a lot about MMOs just because I was desperate for a common topic to discuss. I never even considered it complaining - just, discussing.
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Lumi
Vyemm Raider
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Bit late to the party here but you should seriously consider alternatives to pharmaceutical psychotropic drugs.
Lexapro ingredients exposed: You won't believe what this drug is really made of
Side effects of Methylphenidate include but not limited to "rapid or irregular heartbeat, delirium, panic, psychosis, and heart failure."
The side effects of Vyvance are just as bad.
Anyone taking antidepressants seriously need to remove their heads from their asses and come up for a fresh breath of air. There are several different naturalistic alternatives that not only work better but also either have extremely minor or zero side effects at all. Believe it or not but the majority of depression is caused by malnutrition/little to no exercise.
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Aldarion
Egg Nazi
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No sure why the strong reaction, its pretty good advice regardless of whether a person suffers from clinical depression or not. Emotional neutrality is pretty much the state of enlightenment everyone should try for (women are incapable but would probably benefit from trying. Men can actually achieve this state)
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Thanks for the advice. Honestly, that was my first thought at the beginning. We had come to a settlement arrangement where he business partner was going to buy me out and provide a severance. That money would of been enough for me to fund a similar business on my own. He reneged on that deal and decided not to honor it we have been in court since. The key difference here is he is a millionaire and has the German business to find these things and I have been doing odd jobs here and there since this happened. I am confident I will win the case and I think my business partner is too so his strategy has been to drag it out as long as possible hoping to bleed me out before the end. Thankfully my lawyer feels the same way and recently agreed to work on a contingency. If you have dealt with the same you know lawyers are fucking expensive.
At the same time I don't know if working in the adult industry is something I want to continue. While I do have a solid amount of experience in this field in the end it's just selling widgets, if you can do that in one industry you can do it in any. Part of it has just been my inaction since this all happened. I just broke down, didn't know where to start over again. At this point my inaction is close to forcing my to some action because even though I had a decent savings built up I have ran through a sizeable part of it. I feel fortunate enough I had enough money I could survive for months without working, I can only imagine how shitty it would of been had I been working paycheck to paycheck.
Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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I lasted about a year without the drugs, at a time with I thought I had little stress and generally felt okay. I was then reminded about the very real physical torture they were shielding me from. Your brain can trick your body into all kinds of fun things. I already knew about "HOLY FUCK MY CHEST IS CAVING IN" but then it was joined by "I'M BEING STRANGLED AND IT WON'T STOP" and other friends like "swallowing anything feels like razor blades slowly sliding down my esophagus." If there's a muscle or nerve that can make itself hurt, trust me, anxiety can find it.
Hatorade
A nice asshole.
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BoozeCube
As some one that is hit with the "not today" type of depression seemingly at random I find trying new things always helps. I bury myself in video games, board games, social environments whenever possible. Sometimes you just need to force yourself to exercise, jump rope until my stomach no longer bounces is my current goal. Therapy may also be an answer, my point is keep trying new things until you like something enough to want to get out of bed to do it. Except golf, DO NOT TAKE UP GOLF, the highs are so fucking high when you hit that ball right and it feels amazing but most of the time you are cursing at yourself for fucking up.
Xarpolis
Life's a Dream
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Going to bump this thread again. Maybe you guys will know what to do.
I called up a high school friend today because it's his birthday. He's much older now (37), but we still keep in touch a fair amount. Anyway, I asked him what he was going to do and he said "Maybe throw myself off of a bridge." He's talked like that a LONG time ago and I remember it, but never really put much weight behind it. But realistically, he's always had a mild form of depression. He's hardly a "the end is near" type of guy, but he usually looks for the negative in everything. Something good happens, which is great, but that only lifts him until the next negative happens. Then he stays moody. He had a kid not too long ago, which he really wanted for a while. He thought that would be what he needed. But now he's back to depressed again. When he was 25-26, he moved from PA all the way out to CO. Last year he moved back to PA. He said it was to be back around his and his wife's parents again, just so the daughter grows up knowing family. Now he's saying that he just couldn't cut it in CO, so that's why he moved back. I don't think that's correct, but that's where his head is.
What can I do about this? I'm like 11 hours away by plane, so I can't exactly just be around him, but should I contact someone? Maybe tell his mother, or is that a pussy move? I really have no idea what to do, but I don't want him to off himself. Not for my sake, but for his family, especially his daughter. I have no idea...
Ideas/Suggestions?
I called up a high school friend today because it's his birthday. He's much older now (37), but we still keep in touch a fair amount. Anyway, I asked him what he was going to do and he said "Maybe throw myself off of a bridge." He's talked like that a LONG time ago and I remember it, but never really put much weight behind it. But realistically, he's always had a mild form of depression. He's hardly a "the end is near" type of guy, but he usually looks for the negative in everything. Something good happens, which is great, but that only lifts him until the next negative happens. Then he stays moody. He had a kid not too long ago, which he really wanted for a while. He thought that would be what he needed. But now he's back to depressed again. When he was 25-26, he moved from PA all the way out to CO. Last year he moved back to PA. He said it was to be back around his and his wife's parents again, just so the daughter grows up knowing family. Now he's saying that he just couldn't cut it in CO, so that's why he moved back. I don't think that's correct, but that's where his head is.
What can I do about this? I'm like 11 hours away by plane, so I can't exactly just be around him, but should I contact someone? Maybe tell his mother, or is that a pussy move? I really have no idea what to do, but I don't want him to off himself. Not for my sake, but for his family, especially his daughter. I have no idea...
Ideas/Suggestions?
Dandain
Trakanon Raider
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I think you should keep trying to get him to open up. You probably wouldn't have made this post if you were not getting a vibe this is different than before. You will regret not telling someone if you think his threat is credible, contact who you think is the most credible interface for his needs from your limitations 11 hours away. There's no quick load in life.
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[Non-professional advice incoming, so take it with a grain of salt]
Only he can fix his depression and it can't be fixed just by willing it so or wishful thinking: it is a psychological, pathological, and biochemical journey that he alone has to go on on his body's timeline, so...
It is hard to watch up close and have any fucking clue how to help without doing more harm; must be much harder from a distance.
Only he can fix his depression and it can't be fixed just by willing it so or wishful thinking: it is a psychological, pathological, and biochemical journey that he alone has to go on on his body's timeline, so...
- Check in regularly: being alone in your own head is the worst thing for depression so give him a safe and frequent outlet to get out of his own head,
- Be his friend, not just a social acquaintance: guys need support and don't always want to talk about things directly
- Don't push, pry, or intervene as long as his life isn't in imminent danger you are providing more value from the above than you would by trying to be a blunt instrument from 11 hours away
- Don't break his confidence: he may have already told someone and not shared it with you but might be intentionally keeping it from someone else for good reasons (e.g. mother is secretly ill so he doesn't want to tell her)
It is hard to watch up close and have any fucking clue how to help without doing more harm; must be much harder from a distance.
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Leadsalad
Cis-XYite-Nationalist
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