Dungeons & Dragons (2022)

So this is going to be based in Forgotten Realms? I know its a pipe dream but maybe if this has mild success it could lead to some of the better stories already made?

BrellWatcher said:

So this is going to be based in Forgotten Realms?

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Yes, it is.

Haus said:

Saw a new and completely different trailer for this before John Wick where essentially they spent the whole trailer trying to convince you that this is "The most Chris Pine Movie ever!!!!!"

I weep for the numbers it's looking like it's going to pull because I really did want it to do well.

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I genuinely did too, but it's complete trash.

The IP cannot or will not take itself seriously long enough to break away from the "hurr, hurr - isn't that funny" garbage that has continually plagued D&D on TV/big screen.

The acting is terrible, the story is entirely predictable/boring, and the characters are either forgettable or unlikable. I honestly don't remember the names of anyone in the party. Also, it goes without saying, that all the woke tropes you'd expect from modern WotC are on full display:

1. A completely unlikable female, minority Barbarian cunt that can trash a dozen armed men with her bare hands. Michelle Rodriguez plays the same 'badass whaman' in everything she does. Fortunately, in this movie she leans into the "me smash and not say much."
2. The feminine, meek, male minority Sorcerer that is the bumbling fool and door mat for women expect when plot armor is required for him to actually do something useful.
3. The never-can-do-anything-right male Bard with his token PoC wife and oreo kid. I'm not much of a fan of Pine and he added nothing to this movie that literally any other person could have done.
4. The Druid..../eyeroll...the shapeshifting was awesome, but any time she was in her natural form she was just a sassy cunt defined by "All Humans are bad because of their greed/destroying the environment." The activism is not subtle.
5. The epitome of competence is, of course, a Black male Paladin with a wooden personality that still manages come off as a flaming faggot.

The villains are Austin Powers ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I loved those movies and the villains in that context, but that goofy shit doesn't belong in a D&D movie. And, of course, the front man for the big-bad is an evil greasy White man being puppeteer'd by an ultra powerful female Red Wizard of Thay.

This garbage was worse than a made-for-TV Hallmark movie.

The ONLY redeeming parts are the fanservice where people can go "oh! look! an Owlbear, a Displacer Beast, a Mimic, they're in Neverwinter, that guy is a Dragonborn/Aarakocra!" etc.

This is DnD now, get used to it!

Honestly I think the woke was about 99 percent less than I expected, all the tropes were hit on purpose to literally mimic a classic campaign, including side quests, bad ass NPCs that come and go from the quest, and the random item obtained early in the quest that ends up being the ultimate power.

They used classic DND actions to use magic in ways to circumvent the challenges. Seriously the portal sneak into the vault was awesome.

Pine was great but sadly his character has been beaten to death by Hollywood with every other franchise the last 2 decades. He’s the 8th to party in the funny rogue bard leader character.

I think there is very fair critical to be had that this went too “funny” which every movie is doing, but in a vacuum this movie is great for players

Grabbit Allworth said:

1. A completely unlikable female, minority Barbarian cunt that can trash a dozen armed men with her bare hands. Michelle Rodriguez plays the same 'badass whaman' in everything she does. Fortunately, in this movie she leans into the "me smash and not say much."
2. The feminine, meek, male minority Sorcerer that is the bumbling fool and door mat for women expect when plot armor is required for him to actually do something useful.
3. The never-can-do-anything-right male Bard with his token PoC wife and oreo kid. I'm not much of a fan of Pine and he added nothing to this movie that literally any other person could have done.
4. The Druid..../eyeroll...the shapeshifting was awesome, but any time she was in her natural form she was just a sassy cunt defined by "All Humans are bad because of their greed/destroying the environment." The activism is not subtle.
5. The epitome of competence is, of course, a Black male Paladin with a wooden personality that still manages come off as a flaming faggot.

The villains are Austin Powers ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I loved those movies and the villains in that context, but that goofy shit doesn't belong in a D&D movie. And, of course, the front man for the big-bad is an evil greasy White man being puppeteer'd by an ultra powerful female Red Wizard of Thay.

This garbage was worse than a made-for-TV Hallmark movie.

The ONLY redeeming parts are the fanservice where people can go "oh! look! an Owlbear, a Displacer Beast, a Mimic, they're in Neverwinter, that guy is a Dragonborn/Aarakocra!" etc.

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1) this is fair. That character was a wild but I blame the use of no charisma shitty actress. If this was Gina Carano with the same writing you would be in love.
2) again, fair but the dorky magic user with no self confidence is a common trope but I do agree there was too much “this guys sucks till he doesn’t” but it at least makes sense that his confidence gains when he beats Elminsters attunement. Think they went a little too modern Hollywood here.
3) if this same performance was done in 2008 this board would be lauding Pine for how amazing he was- it’s just too late and been done too much but like I said, in a vacuum he was the best Bard character I have seen.
4) you are really angry that the tierfling member of the ember enclave took the anti human ruining the forrest stance that is the literal backbone of the ember enclave. This character was spot on to what a faggy drug would be.
5) the super bad ass thayan Paladin character that everyone wishes they could be is a problem? Dude was a Drizzt stand in. The guy we all want to be when we are dorky 15 year olds. Dude RPed his Pally hard as hell.


The barbarian was a “I’m a barbarian I fight good but have no other character” of every Barb in every campaign I play. Pine was every single too cool for school character in starter campaigns that are too cool to RP a character.

I saw so much of my 90s campaigns I almost choked

When The annoying Barbarian said she wan the d to tie rope to and axe and throw it as a bridge in a room make of rock should trigger every single person who ever DMed

I admit that my review of the movie was, maybe, a bit too critical, but I stand by the fundamental points made.

I'm a D&D superfan and watching the IP get devoured over the last 10 years by the woke cult has made me disproportionately reactive. I have zero tolerance for woke bullshit. In fact, I aggressively attack it at every opportunity.

The hope is that my apparent fanaticism will inspire the normies to grow a pair and take the hobby (not to mention movies, games, etc) back from the mentally-ill, blue-haired members of 41% club.

At any rate, classic tropes or not, the movie is objectively garbage and being woke is not the primary reason this movie sucks. It's basically the same D&D movie from 2000 and that film was panned by almost everyone for reasons I have already covered.

Some day, a studio is going to realize that Game of Thrones with magic is lighting in a bottle.

Grabbit Allworth said:

I admit that my review of the movie was, maybe, a bit too critical, but I stand by the fundamental points made.

I'm a D&D superfan and watching the IP get devoured over the last 10 years by the woke cult has made me disproportionately reactive. I have zero tolerance for woke bullshit. In fact, I aggressively attack it at every opportunity.

The hope is that my apparent fanaticism will inspire the normies to grow a pair and take the hobby (not to mention movies, games, etc) back from the mentally-ill, blue-haired members of 41% club.

At any rate, classic tropes or not, the movie is objectively garbage and being woke is not the primary reason this movie sucks. It's basically the same D&D movie from 2000 and that film was panned by almost everyone for reasons I have already covered.

Some day, a studio is going to realize that Game of Thrones with magic is lighting in a bottle.

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Jesus christ this is Incel level COPING

Stop being a faggot

"I admit im an incel fag, but its everyone elses fault, and now I double down on being an incel faggot, goodnight"

Hot post Loser

Burns said:

This is DnD now, get used to it!

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See this shit, this is all Grabbit could see in am movie that has nothing to do with this show, or person. You need to accept your own failures as an angry fag and start ignoring fag shit and living a fun life.



You fag