embarrassing/odd unplanned sex moments.
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Phanton
Trakanon Raider
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I met this 30 year old girl at a bar when I was around 22. We went out a few times, which stayed pretty PG; much to my dismay as I assumed an older woman would be ready to fuck asap, plus she would be great at it from experience. Anyhow, one night we both get buzzed and end up in my bed naked. I'm going for a condom when she tells me to stop. She tells me she's a virgin, and that she has body dysmorphic disorder (doesn't every girl?). We kept making out afterwords, but the night turned out to be the biggest cock tease ever.
In hindsight part of me thinks she might have wanted me to rape her. idk it was a very weird night.
In hindsight part of me thinks she might have wanted me to rape her. idk it was a very weird night.
Blazin
Creative Title
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- 36,588
When I first started dating my wife (17 yrs old) she was still living with her parents and we were laying on the couch in a spooning position watching a movie, her 15yr old younger sister comes down stairs and sits in the chair next to us and just starts talking to us. We are under a blanket and I can feel my wife pulling her pants down so I wiggle mine down and she begins to fuck me all while sitting there talking to her sister. Was the weirdest sex thing my wife has ever done in the 20 yrs since. I think she was marking her territory lol
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This must be a girl thing. My girlfriend in high school did the same thing on the couch at home, though I think her sister was only a year younger.
Around graduation time her parents took us to a hotel on the beach. We all stayed in one room, 2 queen beds. Her parents in one, us in the other, and her sister and sisters friend on the floor. She had to get some every night when she thought everyone was sleeping.
Thinking about it though, she was a crazy bitch. One time her Dad called and she didn't even stop, just answered the phone and continued.
The most embarrassing though was when I thought my Mom was going to be gone for a long time so we used her shower since it was a walk-in and had a bench. I was wrong about her being gone for a long time. All I could do was laugh after. We got walked in on all the fucking time in our rooms though. Her Mom just thought it was funny and didn't care at all. My Mom was a little annoyed.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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My ex really liked to drink wine. She got this certain kind of really cheap wine that she had never drank before. Well for whatever reason in affected her differently, she was fucked up off less than two glasses. So we're going at it, and she just passes the fuck out. So I go watch tv or some shit. She wakes up at like 3, shoots out of bed, starts in again. Then stops, gets up, going to the door, turns around, opens up her nightstand, and pisses in it. Then gets back in bed and is passed out again. She didn't remember a single thing the next day and couldn't figure out why her nightstand drawer was in the bathtub.
Bubbles
2022 Asshat Award Winner
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meeemories inc
back in the college years, I wasn't much of a partier (is that a word? it is now) but once I was dragged into this house party. Bunch of fucking bohemian artsy types. I decided to fuck it and just gonna get wasted. I pulled an armchair on to the patio and sat there, drinking. Didn't talk to anyone, only got up to go the bathroom and get more drinks. A few hours later, there I was, stoic in my defiance to get involved. Surprisingly I wasnt getting really that drunk, which was odd. Suddenly this girl plants her ass right on the arm of the chair and slides into the chair. She doesn't say anything. Has that glassy drunk look. Takes a sip of the drink, wants to say something, opens her mouth but doesn't. I'm like, fuck this and keep drinking silently. This goes on for a good 20 minutes. Then my drinks run out and I need to get up and get some more. By that time, the girl, she's still in the chair brushed against me and she just keeps staring at me, drinking her drink. As I get up, so does she. I could tell she's wasted but not enough wasted enough not to walk. She grabs my arm and in a most determined way makes her way upstairs, me in tow. She opens one of the bedroom doors and basically flings me on to the bed. The clothes come off so fast I still have no idea if I took mine off myself or did she. Next thing I know, I'm on my back and she's on top of me, humping and grinding away. Still stoic btw, but you know, sex is sex. For a drunk chick, she's very energetic and apparently really into it. Then out of nowhere, she stops, leans over and looks at me. Her face is white as a sheet of paper. I notice subtle compulsions of her stomach and her cheeks slightly buff up. At the very final moment, like a fucking ninja, I flip my head to the side and I hear what is only short of a roar. She unloads herself right next to my ear and I can feel the warm, somewhat chunky, liquid running down my shoulder and onto my back. I look at her like what the fuck, woman. All I get in return is glassy glare, spit dripping from her mouth. And she goes back to work like nothing has happened. I'm so fucking stunned, I can't even move. But I'm still hard. So that's good. And I've sobered up, or at least I feel sober. All I can think of what the fuck and feel the puke squelching against my back. Then out of nowhere, she finishes, climbs off of me, grabs her clothes gets dressed and leaves. I didn't even cum yet. Fuck. I pull myself up and the end of the bed, sitting there, thinking what to do next. Still hard. I figure I need a shower or something. Still haven't turned around and looked at the bed. Must be carnage. Two doors. Door one is a closet. I'm confused. I think by turning around, my back might have brushed against some clothes in there. Not sure. 2nd door is a bathroom. No shower, only a bath. Double fuck. But there's a sink, so I splash water onto myself, trying to get clean. Must have used all the towels I could find. Finally clean. I get dressed leave the room and go downstairs. only for people there, the rest have left. what the fuck, how long was I up there? I feel dehydrated so I go to the kitchen to find some water. Just as I turn, I literally pump into her. We just stand there for a moment frozen in time. I have no idea what to do next. Then she puts her arm around me, pulls herself next to me and whispers so quietly I can barely hear, "sorry". I look at her and she has that smile that women have that could melt ice at absolute zero. And then, she just walks by me, and leaves. Never saw her again. Dunno if that's a good or a bad thing. Only thing that really bothers me, is that I didn't finish. Would have been great.
Anyhoo, that's probably my oddest story I have.
back in the college years, I wasn't much of a partier (is that a word? it is now) but once I was dragged into this house party. Bunch of fucking bohemian artsy types. I decided to fuck it and just gonna get wasted. I pulled an armchair on to the patio and sat there, drinking. Didn't talk to anyone, only got up to go the bathroom and get more drinks. A few hours later, there I was, stoic in my defiance to get involved. Surprisingly I wasnt getting really that drunk, which was odd. Suddenly this girl plants her ass right on the arm of the chair and slides into the chair. She doesn't say anything. Has that glassy drunk look. Takes a sip of the drink, wants to say something, opens her mouth but doesn't. I'm like, fuck this and keep drinking silently. This goes on for a good 20 minutes. Then my drinks run out and I need to get up and get some more. By that time, the girl, she's still in the chair brushed against me and she just keeps staring at me, drinking her drink. As I get up, so does she. I could tell she's wasted but not enough wasted enough not to walk. She grabs my arm and in a most determined way makes her way upstairs, me in tow. She opens one of the bedroom doors and basically flings me on to the bed. The clothes come off so fast I still have no idea if I took mine off myself or did she. Next thing I know, I'm on my back and she's on top of me, humping and grinding away. Still stoic btw, but you know, sex is sex. For a drunk chick, she's very energetic and apparently really into it. Then out of nowhere, she stops, leans over and looks at me. Her face is white as a sheet of paper. I notice subtle compulsions of her stomach and her cheeks slightly buff up. At the very final moment, like a fucking ninja, I flip my head to the side and I hear what is only short of a roar. She unloads herself right next to my ear and I can feel the warm, somewhat chunky, liquid running down my shoulder and onto my back. I look at her like what the fuck, woman. All I get in return is glassy glare, spit dripping from her mouth. And she goes back to work like nothing has happened. I'm so fucking stunned, I can't even move. But I'm still hard. So that's good. And I've sobered up, or at least I feel sober. All I can think of what the fuck and feel the puke squelching against my back. Then out of nowhere, she finishes, climbs off of me, grabs her clothes gets dressed and leaves. I didn't even cum yet. Fuck. I pull myself up and the end of the bed, sitting there, thinking what to do next. Still hard. I figure I need a shower or something. Still haven't turned around and looked at the bed. Must be carnage. Two doors. Door one is a closet. I'm confused. I think by turning around, my back might have brushed against some clothes in there. Not sure. 2nd door is a bathroom. No shower, only a bath. Double fuck. But there's a sink, so I splash water onto myself, trying to get clean. Must have used all the towels I could find. Finally clean. I get dressed leave the room and go downstairs. only for people there, the rest have left. what the fuck, how long was I up there? I feel dehydrated so I go to the kitchen to find some water. Just as I turn, I literally pump into her. We just stand there for a moment frozen in time. I have no idea what to do next. Then she puts her arm around me, pulls herself next to me and whispers so quietly I can barely hear, "sorry". I look at her and she has that smile that women have that could melt ice at absolute zero. And then, she just walks by me, and leaves. Never saw her again. Dunno if that's a good or a bad thing. Only thing that really bothers me, is that I didn't finish. Would have been great.
Anyhoo, that's probably my oddest story I have.
I met a wonderful lady a couple years ago. A bit of a tomboy, but pretty in a sort of effortless way. It was sort of love at first sight. Amazingly she liked me too, so we got married almost immediately (gay marriage is a-ok). We went home after the wedding, and I got in bed but she wouldn't get in with me. Just sort of stood nearby staring at me. It was a bit creepy.
I decided we needed a honeymoon, so we got on the road. On the way we got a bit too close to a giant's campsite, and the next thing I hear is "I'll kill you if I have to!". Stupid girl had charged the camp and got beat down by giants. Stupid Lydia.
I decided we needed a honeymoon, so we got on the road. On the way we got a bit too close to a giant's campsite, and the next thing I hear is "I'll kill you if I have to!". Stupid girl had charged the camp and got beat down by giants. Stupid Lydia.
fris
Vyemm Raider
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not for me, but for her
parting w/ about 20 friends. most are from out of town, so they have a few hotel rooms. i planned on going back to my apt but they convince me to stay in the hotel w/ them. in the room, 2 beds, 6 or 8 people. somehow one of the girls gets me in one bed w/ her, i should have seen it coming. nice rack, not thin, drunk sex is drunk sex. but i'm more drunk and a goofball. i basically cut up and act a fool till basically every light is off and everyone's asleep. i'm probably mroe annoying than funny. i even unplug the smoke detector because the light 'bugs' me.
finally i start to settle down in teh bed and the girl starts to fondle me. there's a bag of chips on the night stand between the beds and i occasionally eat some. i do this throughout the sexy time. not surprising, not everyone feel asleep before sexy time. the 2 couples on the floor i think were awake for all of it. i eat more chips, ask her if she wants chips, every 2-3 minutes i'm eating chips. basically until i nut, i'm eating chips and asking her if she wants some.
the girl is a teacher and most of those in the group were as well. for weeks, that girl would find a bag of chips on her desk every morning from her friends that were in the room.
parting w/ about 20 friends. most are from out of town, so they have a few hotel rooms. i planned on going back to my apt but they convince me to stay in the hotel w/ them. in the room, 2 beds, 6 or 8 people. somehow one of the girls gets me in one bed w/ her, i should have seen it coming. nice rack, not thin, drunk sex is drunk sex. but i'm more drunk and a goofball. i basically cut up and act a fool till basically every light is off and everyone's asleep. i'm probably mroe annoying than funny. i even unplug the smoke detector because the light 'bugs' me.
finally i start to settle down in teh bed and the girl starts to fondle me. there's a bag of chips on the night stand between the beds and i occasionally eat some. i do this throughout the sexy time. not surprising, not everyone feel asleep before sexy time. the 2 couples on the floor i think were awake for all of it. i eat more chips, ask her if she wants chips, every 2-3 minutes i'm eating chips. basically until i nut, i'm eating chips and asking her if she wants some.
the girl is a teacher and most of those in the group were as well. for weeks, that girl would find a bag of chips on her desk every morning from her friends that were in the room.
I was more referring to grabbing the tampon string and pulling it out of her twat myself.
I also had a puppy bite my cock will I was kneeling at the edge of my bed going down on a girl. She looked almost as horrified as I was when I went from licking her box to screaming. I think at first, she thought something was wrong with her. Luckily no real damage done from the bite but those needle like puppy teeth fucking hurt.
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Picked up a girl at a party when i was 19, she was late 20s, thought i had hit gold. We leave and decide the 45m drive back to her place was too long and hitup the first hotel on the first exit. It's 3am and the clerk behind the counter knew what was up but was too tired to care. Gave us the last room on an empty hall and he got a good tip for the effort. I didn't find out until later but she had been through a nasty divorce a couple months earlier and i was the first hookup since. Sex starved might be the word to use because we proceed to fuck all night long and into the morning. On the bed, on the armchair, in the shower, up against the wall, over the dresser, you name it. When i can't keep it up she pulls a vibrator out of her purse and tells me to fuck her with it until i can get hard again. I've never had marathon sex like that since, sadly. It was glorious.
Late the next morning, it's a Sunday, and our room was at the end of the hall sharing a wall with a community room that had apparently been rented out for brunch to an extended family of black baptists. I turn on the tv to try and be polite as the walls are pretty thin. At this point i think shes trying to pick a fight. She starts in with the dirty talk, which would have been pretty hot would it not have been that she was being purposefully loud. I'm young and not about to stop, even when we start hearing angry voices on the other side of the wall. "Is that what i think it is? Get the kids out. Do something" etc, etc. Which then proceeds into the a couple of angry thuds on the wall. I turn the volume up on the tv. She turns her volume up even more. The banging is now on our door along with shouts "We know you're in there, cut that shit out now" and threats of calling the manager. At this point i'm getting nervous and think okay this has been great, time to check out. But nooo, she has other ideas. Like opening the door while still naked and screaming hysterically at them to leave us alone, then slamming the door shut, and jumping back on me moaning dramatically. The thuds turn into 2 angry black men pretending our door is a speed bag with a 3rd man and i guess a grandmother in the hall shouting to come out right this instant. She calls the manager, starts sobbing on the phone about how she feels threatened, and to get security down here right away. 10 minutes of fake moans, door beating, wall banging, angry black voices, and her shouting back to leave us alone, the security guards show up and evict the whole family from the building. During this time she is dead silent and you can hear a scuffle out in the hall as i can only surmise is at least one person is forcibly dragged out of the hotel.
She doesnt say a word, tosses me my clothes, puts hers on, and we go to check out. She drops me off at my car, having not said a word since screaming at that family through the door, kisses me and says it was wonderful, and drives off.
Late the next morning, it's a Sunday, and our room was at the end of the hall sharing a wall with a community room that had apparently been rented out for brunch to an extended family of black baptists. I turn on the tv to try and be polite as the walls are pretty thin. At this point i think shes trying to pick a fight. She starts in with the dirty talk, which would have been pretty hot would it not have been that she was being purposefully loud. I'm young and not about to stop, even when we start hearing angry voices on the other side of the wall. "Is that what i think it is? Get the kids out. Do something" etc, etc. Which then proceeds into the a couple of angry thuds on the wall. I turn the volume up on the tv. She turns her volume up even more. The banging is now on our door along with shouts "We know you're in there, cut that shit out now" and threats of calling the manager. At this point i'm getting nervous and think okay this has been great, time to check out. But nooo, she has other ideas. Like opening the door while still naked and screaming hysterically at them to leave us alone, then slamming the door shut, and jumping back on me moaning dramatically. The thuds turn into 2 angry black men pretending our door is a speed bag with a 3rd man and i guess a grandmother in the hall shouting to come out right this instant. She calls the manager, starts sobbing on the phone about how she feels threatened, and to get security down here right away. 10 minutes of fake moans, door beating, wall banging, angry black voices, and her shouting back to leave us alone, the security guards show up and evict the whole family from the building. During this time she is dead silent and you can hear a scuffle out in the hall as i can only surmise is at least one person is forcibly dragged out of the hotel.
She doesnt say a word, tosses me my clothes, puts hers on, and we go to check out. She drops me off at my car, having not said a word since screaming at that family through the door, kisses me and says it was wonderful, and drives off.
iannis
Musty Nester
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I can't remember anything too gross... of course that's relative and bodily excretion don't phase me at all so I've p probably has some stanknasty sex for some tastes. But the most odd and awkward was a female friend who I knew had a crush on me. Really smart girl, nice, not fat, not ugly, all her own teeth, both legs, etc, but she looked like my mother. So over the course of about a month or so, after having known each other for a year, she decided to make her move. And my dumb ass who wasn't paying attention found himself being obviously seduced one night. And then to compound my mistake I decided to soldier through... maybe it was just sex that she wanted, right?
I couldn't get it up. The only time in my life I have been physically unable to will myself at least half a stiffy. Jesus it was just humiliating and awful for the both of us.
And it was entirely my own fault. Can't blame drugs, can't blame liquor, can't blame her... It was just a string of inattention and bad decisions. A man can reject a woman in a way more final, brutal, and cruel than they can reciprocate. I still fuckin feel bad about how bare an insult that was.
I couldn't get it up. The only time in my life I have been physically unable to will myself at least half a stiffy. Jesus it was just humiliating and awful for the both of us.
And it was entirely my own fault. Can't blame drugs, can't blame liquor, can't blame her... It was just a string of inattention and bad decisions. A man can reject a woman in a way more final, brutal, and cruel than they can reciprocate. I still fuckin feel bad about how bare an insult that was.
I remember when I first started having sex, I lost my boner mid fuck. That was extremely embarassing. Or there are times when you don't get any for a while, have sex, but it lasts like 2 minutes.
Woefully Inept
Karazhan Raider
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TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Not me, but my brother back in high school. He was banging his girlfriend at her house while her parents were gone. They get done, he throws the condom in the garbage can, then her German Shepherd runs to the garbage can and eats the condom. Next day when she was walking the dog, the condom came out, but not all the way. She had to pull it out of the dogs ass and hide it so her dad wouldn't find it.
Jasker
something
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Two months ago, met a girl on tinder
She was a virgin. 19. Naive as hell. Mentioned she'd do just about anything but wants to keep her virginity.
I'm a scumbag so I guess I think a virgin would be a good idea.
So I invite her over, and she comes. We start messing around, I go down on her, she sucks my dick. I tell her she should try anal sex since technically that doesn't count as sex. She agrees somehow. Tight fit, she hates it..complains and no persuading does anything.
I then tell her in a 'funny' way, we technically had sex because anal sex does actually count. She caves and lets me fuck her vagina. It's tight and about as fun as a beheading. Ironically, she starts bleeding everywhere just like one. The blood doesn't stop. She runs from my bathroom to the bedroom like 20 times wiping her vagina. I tell her you bleed your first time and it's natural. There's blood everywhere, mattress, sheets, bathroom, floor.
She eventually leaves with a bunch of toilet paper in her vagina. She walks to the bus (NYC and we live in a different sections), she's bleeding on the bus, blood is dripping down from her leg. She said some guy was pointing and laughing at her as she got out of the bus and started walking home.
That night she goes to the ER and they say her vagina wall is torn, she got 10 stitches. She mentions to me how the nurse told her to not date pieces of shit like me.
She texts and calls three times and a day or two later she calms down.
A week later I meet another girl on tinder, a doctor.
I'm at her place, she starts rubbing / sucking me off. I reciprocate because I'm pretty sure she's clean and I'm down with throat cancer regardless.
All's good. I start fucking her and realize there's blood on my dick, then i look at my hands and realize there's blood on my hands too. I look in the mirror and there's blood on my mouth.
I'm expected to die of aids shortly
She was a virgin. 19. Naive as hell. Mentioned she'd do just about anything but wants to keep her virginity.
I'm a scumbag so I guess I think a virgin would be a good idea.
So I invite her over, and she comes. We start messing around, I go down on her, she sucks my dick. I tell her she should try anal sex since technically that doesn't count as sex. She agrees somehow. Tight fit, she hates it..complains and no persuading does anything.
I then tell her in a 'funny' way, we technically had sex because anal sex does actually count. She caves and lets me fuck her vagina. It's tight and about as fun as a beheading. Ironically, she starts bleeding everywhere just like one. The blood doesn't stop. She runs from my bathroom to the bedroom like 20 times wiping her vagina. I tell her you bleed your first time and it's natural. There's blood everywhere, mattress, sheets, bathroom, floor.
She eventually leaves with a bunch of toilet paper in her vagina. She walks to the bus (NYC and we live in a different sections), she's bleeding on the bus, blood is dripping down from her leg. She said some guy was pointing and laughing at her as she got out of the bus and started walking home.
That night she goes to the ER and they say her vagina wall is torn, she got 10 stitches. She mentions to me how the nurse told her to not date pieces of shit like me.
She texts and calls three times and a day or two later she calms down.
A week later I meet another girl on tinder, a doctor.
I'm at her place, she starts rubbing / sucking me off. I reciprocate because I'm pretty sure she's clean and I'm down with throat cancer regardless.
All's good. I start fucking her and realize there's blood on my dick, then i look at my hands and realize there's blood on my hands too. I look in the mirror and there's blood on my mouth.
I'm expected to die of aids shortly
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Does knocking a bitch up count as an unexpected sex moment? Or only if you're a dumbass?
Had one girl who had some sort of phobia of cum. no big deal for me, because I like using condoms. Well, one time we were done, I removed it and was tying a knot in it while I was still on her kinda twirling it around to mess with her, and it fell and spilled out onto her stomach. Surprisingly enough, that wasn't the last time we saw each other. She was pretty cool, when we finally broke up, she was cool with one more fuck for the road.
I had one time I couldn't get it up for a chick. I really felt like shit, she was saying she understood she wasn't the prettiest girl in the world and blah blah blah. I mean, she wasn't but she was definitely worth fucking. Obviously had some self esteem issues I didn't notice till that night. Anyway, a couple years later, I figured out that sinus medicine breaks my dick, and I had been on sudafed for days when that happened. Still not sure if I should try to call her and tell her. It's been almost 10 years now. I'm sure by now she's either blocked that out, gotten over her issues, or killed herself.
Another odd event was the first time I saw a nuva ring. I was going down on a chick and I felt it first with my tongue, so I started fingering her. The only explanation I could think of from how it felt was that it was a condom. I was like, WTF, did this bitch really lose a condom up her cooch and I'm down here eating her now? WT fucking fuck! So I decided I had to dig it out. If you're ever seen a nuva ring, you know it's pretty big around for a condom, so when I started dragging it out and realized how big it was, I was getting even more worried. I mean, I am pretty sure they don't make human condoms in anything like that size, so I was thinking horse condom at this point. Oh well, if she is fucking horses, at least she's putting condoms on them, right? Then I realized it was just a ring, which meant if it was a condom it was totally broken. But I kept going cause I'm a damned soldier. Once I dragged it out, I took a minute to look at it. And while I didn't know what it was, I saw enough to know it wasn't a condom, so I finished fucking her. After we were done, I asked her what it was and I guess she was a little embarrassed, but she rinsed it off and shoved it back in there.
FYI, you know all handcuff keys are the same right? There's no reason not to have a couple of your own. They cost something like a dollar each.
I did that, and the reactions were the same. I laughed my ass off, she was mortified.
Had one girl who had some sort of phobia of cum. no big deal for me, because I like using condoms. Well, one time we were done, I removed it and was tying a knot in it while I was still on her kinda twirling it around to mess with her, and it fell and spilled out onto her stomach. Surprisingly enough, that wasn't the last time we saw each other. She was pretty cool, when we finally broke up, she was cool with one more fuck for the road.
I had one time I couldn't get it up for a chick. I really felt like shit, she was saying she understood she wasn't the prettiest girl in the world and blah blah blah. I mean, she wasn't but she was definitely worth fucking. Obviously had some self esteem issues I didn't notice till that night. Anyway, a couple years later, I figured out that sinus medicine breaks my dick, and I had been on sudafed for days when that happened. Still not sure if I should try to call her and tell her. It's been almost 10 years now. I'm sure by now she's either blocked that out, gotten over her issues, or killed herself.
Another odd event was the first time I saw a nuva ring. I was going down on a chick and I felt it first with my tongue, so I started fingering her. The only explanation I could think of from how it felt was that it was a condom. I was like, WTF, did this bitch really lose a condom up her cooch and I'm down here eating her now? WT fucking fuck! So I decided I had to dig it out. If you're ever seen a nuva ring, you know it's pretty big around for a condom, so when I started dragging it out and realized how big it was, I was getting even more worried. I mean, I am pretty sure they don't make human condoms in anything like that size, so I was thinking horse condom at this point. Oh well, if she is fucking horses, at least she's putting condoms on them, right? Then I realized it was just a ring, which meant if it was a condom it was totally broken. But I kept going cause I'm a damned soldier. Once I dragged it out, I took a minute to look at it. And while I didn't know what it was, I saw enough to know it wasn't a condom, so I finished fucking her. After we were done, I asked her what it was and I guess she was a little embarrassed, but she rinsed it off and shoved it back in there.
When I first started dating my soon to be wife, and my friends sister. We had invited him out to go eat with us but while waiting on him to get to her place we decided to get a quick 1 in. We were still using condoms at this point. Well we finished up I tossed the used love glove in the bedroom trash she went down stairs to fix her hair and what not. In the mean time her brother shows up. We're hanging out in the kitchen bullshiting and then the dog comes running in the room. It's a small dog around 7 pounds. She is shaking her head all around. My woman's brother is like she is choking and grabs her up and goes to pull the offending object from her mouth when we both almost at the same time realize what it is. all I could say was you don't want to grab that as I pulled the dog from his hands and headed towards the bathroom, pulling my used and now freshly chewed condom out of the dogs throat, by the end still hanging out of her mouth. He and I never mentioned it that night to my woman we just stayed silent and went for food. The next say I told her as I rolled around in laughter she just stared and looked mortified, saying I can't believe that you guys didn't say anything last night.Not me, but my brother back in high school. He was banging his girlfriend at her house while her parents were gone. They get done, he throws the condom in the garbage can, then her German Shepherd runs to the garbage can and eats the condom. Next day when she was walking the dog, the condom came out, but not all the way. She had to pull it out of the dogs ass and hide it so her dad wouldn't find it.