Evernothing
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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embarrassing/odd unplanned sex moments.
- Thread starter Ghetto216
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Hatorade
A nice asshole.
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- 7,494
Never in my mouth but I did pull out and manage to shoot my own eye once, shit burned like a mother fucker. No idea how the porn stars handle it.
Marmac
Molten Core Raider
- 1,467
- 101
I was about 24 years old, got really drunk at Gogo Lounge and met this really UGLY blonde chick which my friends couldn't stop telling me how fucking ugly she was but I couldn't tell a fucking difference because of my blurred drunkeness vision. What I do remember about her was how fucking insanely perfect her body was. AAA porn star body. All I wanted was to put my cock in as many holes as possible. Anyway, got more drunk with her, ended up at her place, we started fucking around and she kept telling me how much she hated cum. She hated the smell, the feel of it and the color. I thought this was kind of odd for someone to tell me this while sucking my cock so like the asshole I am, as she was sucking my cock, I exploded one of the biggest loads ever in her mouth and the shit was coming out of her fucking nose because I caught her off guard. All hell broke loose after that and the bitch went psycho on me. Obviously she was insanely pissed and just wanted me to get the fuck out of her house which is fine but as I was getting dressed all drunk and fucked up, she kept throwing and whipping my own cum on me and thought it was funny because of how drunk I was. Never saw her again in my life.
Evernothing
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
- 4,856
- 9,132
Marmac
Molten Core Raider
- 1,467
- 101
Marmac
Molten Core Raider
- 1,467
- 101
Ouch! What the fuck was in her asshole that tore your prepuce of penis? Cement?
As gone over earlier in the thread, he didn't use enough lube and/or used water based lube that dried out. Micro abrasions from anal are very common and actual tearing of skin happens as well, though less often.
Evernothing
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
- 4,856
- 9,132
Too bad Drago from old FoHSS / Hoofshots doesn't post here. He had a fantastic story about convincing his girlfriend to try anal for the first time, but she insisted on being wined and dined, taken to a movie etc beforehand.
Yadd, yadda, yadda.
Moral of the story was don't fuck chicks in the ass who like to eat whole, un-popped, popcorn kernels. Lest you end up with one stabbing a hole in the tip of your cock mid stroke.
Yadd, yadda, yadda.
Moral of the story was don't fuck chicks in the ass who like to eat whole, un-popped, popcorn kernels. Lest you end up with one stabbing a hole in the tip of your cock mid stroke.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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iannis
Musty Nester
- 31,351
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Frenulum? More like Friendu-lum.
If you're cut the frenulum is that little skinbridge between your shaft and the head. If you're uncut I dunno, I don't spent a lot of time studying dogdicks.
It didn't happen to me but when I was in high school I had a friend-girl who told me one time that her and her boyfriend had so much sex one night that he couldn't do it anymore because he'd rubbed his dick raw. And she felt both bad about it and I think oddly empowered.
Kelly is probably a dominatrix these days.
If you're cut the frenulum is that little skinbridge between your shaft and the head. If you're uncut I dunno, I don't spent a lot of time studying dogdicks.
It didn't happen to me but when I was in high school I had a friend-girl who told me one time that her and her boyfriend had so much sex one night that he couldn't do it anymore because he'd rubbed his dick raw. And she felt both bad about it and I think oddly empowered.
Kelly is probably a dominatrix these days.
Caeden
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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- 12,985
This dick cutting shit....ow.
Probably on the same level with a zipper catch. I never understood how that happens until I had to piss mid-movie one time at a theater and zigged when I should have zagged. Blood from your dick, no matter how small the amount, is a scary sight. Oh and chaffing from a 6 mile run on one side of it's head. I burned those shorts.
Probably on the same level with a zipper catch. I never understood how that happens until I had to piss mid-movie one time at a theater and zigged when I should have zagged. Blood from your dick, no matter how small the amount, is a scary sight. Oh and chaffing from a 6 mile run on one side of it's head. I burned those shorts.
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Never came in my own eye or any crazy shit like that, but one I think any guy that's been a teenager can relate to, is cumming and having no fucking idea where it went. The sheer panic and then curiosity that follows is one of the truly unique experiences of my life lol. And in that moment I understood why people jerked off into socks.
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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I used to date a girl who told me she had broken guy's dicks. Not one, but multiple. I asked if it was something they recovered from, she said she didn't know because she didn't keep up with them. She said she didn't know what happened, they just started screaming and shit and tried to get away, but she wouldn't let them up till she was done. I think she said they were still hard, but it wouldn't stand up, and of course it hurt enough that they cried like pussies. I dared her to try to break mine.
So, any of you internet doctors got a guess for what happened there? Can a dick be dislocated?
Oh yeah. When I dated a nurse she had a story every month about a guy coming in with a broken dick.
Penile fracture - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
To be specific. Girl on top, guy slips out and she thrusts back down anyway was the most common position it happened in from the stories I've heard, but it is anecdotal.