embarrassing/odd unplanned sex moments.

Never had a wake up bj unfortunately, even though I've dropped god knows how many hints to the wife.

I have, however, experienced the sex on shrooms thing, and had a similar hair related almost freak out like acid.fly. My now wife was on top, it was dark, I had done the shrooms (second time ever mind you) almost 2 hrs prior, and due to slow metabolism or something they hadn't really taken affect. So I basically had gone to bed a little disappointed, but I hadn't paid for them so no biggy. So halfway through sex I look up and see my wife's hair framing her face, but because it's dark, all I see is faceless darkness. Started freaking me the fuck out, get this sense of dread and horror I'm fucking a faceless demon. I start losing my boner a little, but my wife leaned in a little closer, to where I could see a vague outline, basic facial features. That's when my drug addled brain decided that instead of fucking the faceless, I was actually having sex with every woman ever. I nutted pretty fast after that, something about it just clicked, and it was like I was banging every hot chick I'd ever seen. Realizing the shrooms had finally kicked in, my wife (having had an orgasm swear she's worse than any stereotype about guys) passed out, and nothing else to do, I proceeded to turn on music and dance in the dark with my lightfx lightsaber. Would recommend, except for the holy shit I'm fucking a faceless demon part. That was fucked up. I haven't done shrooms since, subconsciously may be afraid of finding the faceless one again.

You fucked CT?

CT fucked him.

I got a few to share but their all kind of dark and less erotic.

One of my worst happened at a toga party in my early twenties. I had just gotten done with a gig and pulled up to this party slamming tequila thinking myself quite the rockstar. I quickly found myself next to the beer pong table shooting the shit, waiting for my turn when a group of girls walked by me. One in particular caught my eye, as she was sporting a studded belt sinching her toga that left little to the imagination and expertly showcased her near perfect form. Still feeling like quite the rockstar pimp I blurted out "I need that" loud enough for her and her friends to know exactly what I was talking about. Within minutes it was my turn to play so I set up my side and saw this chick standing next to me expecting to be my partner. Suffice it to say she was god awful and SLOPPY drunk as all fuck right from the get go. I cared very little, however, as she was grabbing on me the entire game and said not a one intelligable word. "JACKPOT!" I joked to to the rest of the on lookers, but alas it wouldn't be so.

Afterwards I retreated to tell a friend of my impending plow, when not a minute later this chick follows me and shoves her tongue down my throat. Wasting no time I invite her to my friends backseat which she drunkenly shook her head to accept. I shit you not, the backseat and floor of my friends jeep was littered with Wendys wrappers almost a foot deep. Thankfully she was borderline incoherent (and I borderline desperate) so we hop in and start getting warmed up. Just as i'm getting ready for insertion, she finally managed to speak with coherence to say "have protection?". "FUCK!" I silently thought as I reached into my wallet to oblige. No sooner than I had produced the damn thing, she knocks it out of my hand accidentally into the sea of fast food wrappers....

With one hand keeping her interested and my other wading threw dried ketchup caked, stale discarded burger bunned laden wrappers, my pale bare ass swayed in the night for all to see through the backseat window. I rummaged for a good ten minutes. "Victory at last!" I thought when I at last found this condom. This bane of all sexual encounters EVER. I slip it on and get about 4 thrusts off before I look down to see her hysterically crying. Stopping on a dime, my mind raced with all thoughts statutory. Trying my best to get a handle on the situation, I bade her tell me whats wrong. Between sobs I discovered her father had shot himself in the head the night prior.

With ball's bluer than a cloudless evening sky, I spent the rest of the night listening to this girl cry her eyes out feeling far from a rockstar pimp.



As for choking chicks, ALL girls like that shit. Every. Single. One. You have to "sell" it though. If you are a passive, sensitive, beta male it will come off awkward and uncomfortable. Women want to be scared for their life when their fucking. I may sound creepy but it is 100% true yall.

I will also chime in and say dem womens love a good choke. Now granted I told this to my little brother to proceeded to white knuckle a bitch and make her pass out. (DaFaq.jpeg) Get a firm grip on her neck but don't choke her the fuck out.

Same goes for pulling hair. Grab the hair close to the back of her hair (not at the end) and although you should give the first one a stronger yank for surprise factor, after that, just wrap her hair around your hand and keep constant pressure on it. Girls LOVE this when you are fucking them from behind doggy style and you time your mild "pulls" with your thrusts while making her head look up towards the ceiling. Protip, don't pull so hard that you snap her neck.

After that you take it to the next level with light / medium bondage. No matter the girl ($2 whore or bible thumper), when you pull that shit out and use it correctly, they go NUTS. I have 4 girls that I used to fuck on a regular basis still call me up every couple of months just for the "kinky" shit that their current boyfriends / husbands don't do.

TL;DR - When fucking a girl, control and man handle her. I don't care if she is a CEO of a fortune 500 company or a stay at home wife. The key thing here is to be "rough" without actually physically hurting the girl.

Sledge_sl said:

I could see the choking thing going very bad the first time you tried it if the girl didn't like it. I'm close to getting engaged and we've done pretty much everything but that, and getting tied up. She's a "nice girl", but that hasn't stopped her from enjoying buttsecks fairly often. But choking? That might be hard to explain if she asked what the heck I was trying to do.

Maybe I can try it from behind first and just extend my fingers around towards the front more, then if if anything goes 'weird' I can just say I was massaging her neck.

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Well I'm going to try the choking thing this evening because I just found an opening.

My lady friend was standing behind me and said she was going to go watch some TV. I made a comment if it was going to be the stupid singing or dancing shows. She came up behind me and lightly put here hands around my neck and squeezed a little bit, jokingly of course. She then said she couldn't get here hands around my neck, oddly enough, put them around her neck and said they fit. Perfect opportunity......"Well tonight I'll get you back by choking you too." She then said "no you won't", and I said oh yes I am! Couldn't ask for a better scenario.


I will report back.

I have no good news to share. She ended up falling asleep on the couch downstairs watching who knows what. Hoping to try again and still be able to bring up the choking 'joke' from yesterday if things get strange. As of right now, it failed.

Should have woke her up with surprise sex.

Did the choking thing today when she was on top....she likes it. but i can't squeeze too much

Guess what guys. When a woman is turned on, into the sex, and close to cumming she'll like, and even want, almost anything you can do to her.

Khane_sl said:

Guess what guys. When a woman is turned on, into the sex, and close to cumming she'll like, and even want, almost anything you can do to her.

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Not quite.....my current gf doesn't like if i pull her hair hard, cumming or not cumming

Confirmed on the firm grip at the neck. GF went cuckoo for coco puffs

I was 16 the night I lost my virginity (1980). Here are some of the absolutely idiotic things that happened . . .

1. The night before we finally had sex, my girlfriend and Itriedto have sex. But for some reason it just wouldn't go in. After much poking and prodding, she gave up and said "we can try again tomorrow night". You can only imagine the incredible case of blue balls I suffered for the next 24 hours.
2. The next night, we finally had sex in the back of her hatchback. It was freezing cold outside, and I laid my jacket and pants etc. under her to keep her warm. Not knowing the first thing about sex . . I thought sperm just stayed inside a woman. Remember, this was 1980 and there was no such thing as internet porn to educate me. So imagine my shock when my eruption (remember, I had blue balls!) leaked out of her and saturated everything I was wearing.
3. Just before midnight I drove home. I ran out of gas. An elderly couple was driving behind me when I ran out of gas and stopped to see if I needed help. They offered to drive me home, and so I got in their car. As soon as I got in their car, it was obvious the couple got their first good whiff of the spunk-covered teenager in their back seat. The man began laughing, while the woman politely wrinkled her nose and tried not to throw up.

Telestin_sl said:

As soon as I got in their car, it was obvious the couple got their first good whiff of the spunk-covered teenager in their back seat. The man began laughing, while the woman politely wrinkled her nose and tried not to throw up.

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Uhhhh.... what?

Khane_sl said:

Uhhhh.... what?

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My thoughts exactly. I think you two mean you smelled like sweat from the screwing because I don't know about you but my cum doesn't smell like anything.

So I'll confirm the light choking on current gf. She's a bit shy and conservative in the bedroom so I just sort of applied light pressure. She went nuts.

I've done some light tugs of hair before. Current gf, despite being by far the most vanilla girl I've been with, has given me amazing free reign with pushing her head down when blowing me. Even the freaks sometimes tap out when you go for nearly making them gag.

The wrist pin is my go-to. I was dating a chick early this year that flipped out on me when I put her arm behind her back restraint style. Not hard and she didn't get physically hurt but I guess I awakened some sort of PTSD on a rape that happened. She had me choking the shit out of her when we fucked though.