Girls who broke your heart thread
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I"ve heard it happens, but I wouldn"t try to make it work, personally. There would be no trust left or interest in reconciliation from my end.
Pancreas
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In regards to the girlfriend who got slapped by her brother. That is just a mess. To everyone saying he should have fought the brother, no.
The most likely outcome from that altercation is that the police get involved. Then it comes down to the four accounts of what happened.
The brother paints himself as the innocent party.
The brother"s friend will minimize his involvement (I didn"t see nuthin) or support the brother.
The sister will likely support the brother, claiming the slap was a love tap or some such, as the embarrassment of having her deep rooted family dysfunction revealed will outweigh any short term attachment she has to our "hero".
And finally our forum goer. He claims he was defending the little lady, the brother is a monster yadda yadda yadda, he was doing what was right. Next thing you know our guy has an assault charge, not to mention family pressure will force his girlfriend to terminate the relationship. So he goes to court with nothing in the way of hard evidence that his attack was justified. Not good.
Yelling and screaming are fine however. And anyone who slaps their sister deserves to be called a sack of curdled douches.
Honestly I would tell her flat out that she should do something about this shit and go to her parentsANDthe police. Assault is assault and that 20 something fuck wit of a brother needs to learn the hard way apparently because his useless as shit parents obviously didn"t teach him.
If she is worried that her parents will freak when the brother tells them she is having sex, tell her straight up, "If your parents are more concerned about you having premarital sex than they are of their son being physically violent; they need to be beaten with a branch from the tree of knowledge until something sinks in."
Anyways tread carefully with this one and don"t get too deep. That family will turn around and bite your head off if they feel threatened.
The most likely outcome from that altercation is that the police get involved. Then it comes down to the four accounts of what happened.
The brother paints himself as the innocent party.
The brother"s friend will minimize his involvement (I didn"t see nuthin) or support the brother.
The sister will likely support the brother, claiming the slap was a love tap or some such, as the embarrassment of having her deep rooted family dysfunction revealed will outweigh any short term attachment she has to our "hero".
And finally our forum goer. He claims he was defending the little lady, the brother is a monster yadda yadda yadda, he was doing what was right. Next thing you know our guy has an assault charge, not to mention family pressure will force his girlfriend to terminate the relationship. So he goes to court with nothing in the way of hard evidence that his attack was justified. Not good.
Yelling and screaming are fine however. And anyone who slaps their sister deserves to be called a sack of curdled douches.
Honestly I would tell her flat out that she should do something about this shit and go to her parentsANDthe police. Assault is assault and that 20 something fuck wit of a brother needs to learn the hard way apparently because his useless as shit parents obviously didn"t teach him.
If she is worried that her parents will freak when the brother tells them she is having sex, tell her straight up, "If your parents are more concerned about you having premarital sex than they are of their son being physically violent; they need to be beaten with a branch from the tree of knowledge until something sinks in."
Anyways tread carefully with this one and don"t get too deep. That family will turn around and bite your head off if they feel threatened.
Good post, Pancreas.
If you had hit her brother she would not have thanked you for it. Girls tend to be overly protective of their younger brothers. Since it did not escalate you did the right thing (in her view).
If you had hit her brother she would not have thanked you for it. Girls tend to be overly protective of their younger brothers. Since it did not escalate you did the right thing (in her view).
Fuck that, you did the right thing, full stop.
You can"t save bitches from themselves or their dysfunctional shit. I don"t care what anybody says.
You can"t save bitches from themselves or their dysfunctional shit. I don"t care what anybody says.
It would depend if they BOTH want to. I doubt I could ever get past something like that, then again, everyone is different.Brikker said:
Yes, but with a lot of conditions. Both have to commit to trying to make it work, rebuilding the trust however it needs to be done (if it can be done), and typically counseling of some sort.Brikker said:
That said, just because people *can* be reconciled after an infidelity doesn"t mean they *will*.
Is it possible to have a relationship survive infidelity.
Sure.
Is it likely to survive? Nope. The issues that caused the infidelity are more than likely still there. The fact is the person who cheated will now have the guilt on top of the other issues as well. And the person cheated upon will have the lack of trust and respect on the dirty fucking cheater.
Remember the whole "we were on a break!" thing from Friends?
Relationships can get over that easier than a flat out affair. The lies the planning the premeditated betrayal that constitutes a real affair. Well, as someone who was cheated upon and bailed in the next 10 minutes after i found proof and confirmation. The real affairs are a great big can of fuck you to the heart.
I ask this of anyone who tried to make it work. Why the hell would you have such a lack of self respect to stay with someone who obviously has more regard for someone other than yourself, to ever trust the lying dick infested man mattress ever again.
Find someone who wants to be with you for you, or use a fucking hand.
Fuck i need a drink. Or seven, fuck lies and untrustworthy sacks of shit.
Sure.
Is it likely to survive? Nope. The issues that caused the infidelity are more than likely still there. The fact is the person who cheated will now have the guilt on top of the other issues as well. And the person cheated upon will have the lack of trust and respect on the dirty fucking cheater.
Remember the whole "we were on a break!" thing from Friends?
Relationships can get over that easier than a flat out affair. The lies the planning the premeditated betrayal that constitutes a real affair. Well, as someone who was cheated upon and bailed in the next 10 minutes after i found proof and confirmation. The real affairs are a great big can of fuck you to the heart.
I ask this of anyone who tried to make it work. Why the hell would you have such a lack of self respect to stay with someone who obviously has more regard for someone other than yourself, to ever trust the lying dick infested man mattress ever again.
Find someone who wants to be with you for you, or use a fucking hand.
Fuck i need a drink. Or seven, fuck lies and untrustworthy sacks of shit.
Kirun
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No. For two reasons..Brikker said:
1. There arealwaysgoing to be trust issues. Sure, they might play it off as everything being "normal" and "healthy", but deep down one of the persons involved will always have that "What if?" in the back of the mind. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
2. Why in the fuck would you ever want to reconcile with somebody who completely betrayed you and your trust? If somebody is a shitty enough person to "cheat" on someone, it"s a pretty huge indicator of the type of character they posses. One that isn"t worth your time, nor effort. There is no "Oh! It was just once! I totally swear it"ll never happen!" Fuck you! You gave exactly zero fucks about me, now you want me to "forgive" you and work shit out? Anybody who takes back a cheater is a fucking moron and a groveling little cuckold, AKA Aamina.
Brikker
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Now that I got some answers, I can follow it up.
My wife asked for a divorce back in January (while I was in Air Force BMT...yea). I saw her at graduation and that was the last contact we had. I went to tech school, hooked up with a hot young 19 year old (I"m 26, felt good) for the duration and then graduated. When I went home, I found out she was now dating a friend of mine. Do I know if it started before she asked me for a divorce? No. Do I think it did? Yes. So to me, she cheated. Fast forward to now, she"s living in L.A., still dating this guy but not living together, and recently contacting me through emails, telling me how miserable she is and probing if I would be willing to try to reconcile.
We were together for six years and didn"t get married until four years in. I"d be lying if I said she wasn"t the love of my life. I was happy and we were doing well up to my leaving for BMT. I never, ever thought she had it in her to do what happened. I think the shock of it all was worse than the actual event itself. I still don"t really know why it happened and she hasn"t been able to give me a good reason.
Either way, we aren"t getting back together because I don"t think I could ever get past it. Like someone said, there would always be a nagging "What if" in the back of my mind. I"m living in Germany and not really having a happy life at the moment but trying to look forward to the future. We won"t be legally divorced until Oct. 31. I"m kind of just hoping she moves out of L.A. because that"s where I"m likely going after Germany...
My wife asked for a divorce back in January (while I was in Air Force BMT...yea). I saw her at graduation and that was the last contact we had. I went to tech school, hooked up with a hot young 19 year old (I"m 26, felt good) for the duration and then graduated. When I went home, I found out she was now dating a friend of mine. Do I know if it started before she asked me for a divorce? No. Do I think it did? Yes. So to me, she cheated. Fast forward to now, she"s living in L.A., still dating this guy but not living together, and recently contacting me through emails, telling me how miserable she is and probing if I would be willing to try to reconcile.
We were together for six years and didn"t get married until four years in. I"d be lying if I said she wasn"t the love of my life. I was happy and we were doing well up to my leaving for BMT. I never, ever thought she had it in her to do what happened. I think the shock of it all was worse than the actual event itself. I still don"t really know why it happened and she hasn"t been able to give me a good reason.
Either way, we aren"t getting back together because I don"t think I could ever get past it. Like someone said, there would always be a nagging "What if" in the back of my mind. I"m living in Germany and not really having a happy life at the moment but trying to look forward to the future. We won"t be legally divorced until Oct. 31. I"m kind of just hoping she moves out of L.A. because that"s where I"m likely going after Germany...
Tarrant
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I think you guys can live in a city of millions and not have to worry about it.
I mean it"s up to you if you can"t get past it, that"s a you issue, not a her issue.
Sure, shes a slut bitch for doing it to begin with but the divorce was because of her, not being able to get back with her is you.
And again, LA is fucking huge, you"ll be fine.
I mean it"s up to you if you can"t get past it, that"s a you issue, not a her issue.
Sure, shes a slut bitch for doing it to begin with but the divorce was because of her, not being able to get back with her is you.
And again, LA is fucking huge, you"ll be fine.
Sounds like she met someone else (your friend), thought she"d upgrade, didn"t work out, and now wants to go back to normal.
The question isn"t at all about "what if she cheated?" (she prob did). It"s about why she left you, and if there"s no good explanation, you have no reason to believe it won"t happen again when another upgrade comes along.
The question isn"t at all about "what if she cheated?" (she prob did). It"s about why she left you, and if there"s no good explanation, you have no reason to believe it won"t happen again when another upgrade comes along.
You don"t even know for sure whether or not she screwed around while you were married nor why she did it in the first place. This pretty much torpedoes any chance of getting back together when you don"t even know what the fuck went wrong in the first place.
Besides that it"s just way too much work getting over the trust issues not just for you but for her as well, spend that energy on new pussy.
Besides that it"s just way too much work getting over the trust issues not just for you but for her as well, spend that energy on new pussy.
Jump on that divorce while you"re still young and poor enough not to be cut to the bone by alimony and shit like that. If you have no kids, all the better. She will cheat again. It"s as simple as that. No matter how much you love(d?) her that is a fact. Cheaters gonna cheat, and if you"re still around for the next time you"ll have noone to blame but yourself. See Aamina. Don"t *be* Aamina.