Girls who broke your heart thread
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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They do, but there"s some troubling shit in there. Her telling your mutual friends that you weren"t dating is messed up, especially the 2nd time. What if they had taken her side and not said anything to you?ham said:
Also, the friends-after-dating thing is usually awkward at best. Especially in your situation where she lied about dating you and tried to get with some other dude in front of mutual friends. Give it a shot if you want, but it usually ends badly. Right around when one of you starts dating and bringing the new date around the other person while they are still single.
Not only can I predict that the turning an ex into friends isn"t going to end up well (because it RARELY ever does), what are you going to get out of a friendship with a 22 year old girl, at 28 years old?
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Wait...you want to be fucking friends with the chick who basically just annihilated your trust and stabbed you in the back? Jesus fuck man, grow a fucking pair. You obviously didn"t get the hint after the first fucking woman did it to you and surprise, surprise, you got walked all over yet again. But hey, she just made a "bad decision", bro! 3rd time is a charm!ham said:
Hint: The next chick is going to cheat on you too, unless you grow a sack.
This. But seriously, Eomer, you need to get on that shit and quick. She"s making obvious attempts to get on your nuts and if you keep ignoring her/moving slow, she"s going to move on. But you"re notorious for that, so keep being wordy with her and then come back wondering why she didn"t want to fuck you after you danced around her for 8 months.Grumpus said:
Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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I can"t fucking stand people who hold one on one conversations, especially stuff like setting up a possible date, on public facebook. And from my experience, no worthwhile woman does it.
Lenas
Trump's Staff
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It"s not like she was jumbling the guy"s balls around in her mouth. She kissed him and Ham pulled the plug; seems pretty reasonable. What do you want him to do, murder her fucking family? Seems like "annihilating trust" and "stabbed you in the back" are a little over zealous.Kirun said:
I"m with Kirun on this. You can"t be friends with the bitch after something like this. The fact that she denied your relationship completely is a bigger deal than her kissing some dude in my opinion. Break all contact with this girl and be done. Then you might be able have her eating out of your hand.Kirun said:
I was in a similar situation with a girl about three months ago. She cheated once and I got past it and chalked it up as a mistake. A year and a half later she cheated again with a different guy. (4 year relationship down the drain) I broke it off, kicked her out of my house, blocked her number from my cellphone, blocked her on facebook, anything I could do to break contact.
Three or four days after that I get a knock on my door at 2AM and its her. I told her to leave unless I could fuck her. Shes smoking hot and I wasn"t going to just piss that opportunity away.
Now I fuck her once or twice a week and the sex is as good as when we first got together. If a bitch does a whore thing... treat her like a whore. Make it a permanent fixation in your head that shes just a dumb whore. Anytime she has brought up getting back together I just say, "that"s a terrible idea." I know this wont last long but its pretty fucking fun for now.
I work till 6ish, then I go out with friends, have fun, drink, and meet new women. (There are so many hot women out there to worry about the one that just fucked you over) It"s honestly better than being tied down with a shady bitch you will never trust again.
ham
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Fair point all around in the thread, but this is what drives it home for me and the reason my anger levels went where they went when I heard. I"m trying to handle things calmly and rationally, because I was seeing red pissed last night, and holding onto that anger wasn"t doing anyone any good.The Ancient said:
Her friends didn"t rat her out from the road. They got home, my gf came over, told me what happened within 2 minutes of seeing me. I broke up with her, told her to get out of my house, and then went out (I was on my way out anyway). From the road I texted her friend that she cheated on me during their trip, that"s when I got the rest of the details.
Pretty much my approach, though I do feel like she annihilated my trust, especially with the lying. The kissing apparently stopped almost immediately, I was told early on, but it"s the lying that really damned the entire thing. Her trust with me is completely fucked right now and it will take her a long time to earn it back, if she ever gets this. She knows this and wasn"t asking for anything in return when she told me that she will show me how much harder she is going to try to not fuck things up with me and how she will prove I can trust her again one day. We"ve dated basically 19 of the 25 months we"ve known each other and have never problem that lasted more than a few hours.
I know the circumstances of her situation had a lot to do with how things went down, I think moreso than she even realizes. Had I been on a vacation with a girl for 2 weeks who was attractive and pushing the issue, I might"ve cracked, I don"t know if I would"ve come home and admitted it and I know my friends wouldn"t have thrown me under the bus.
This isn"t about "growing a pair", I don"t have an agenda beyond what happens on a day to day basis as of right now, she doesn"t seem to have one either. I like how being a jealous, smothering boyfriend is some people"s definition of growing a sack. Someone is going to cheat on you if they want to, no matter how protective you are. The last time I was cheating on (with proof) was high school, so I"ve done okay. I haven"t been the perfect boyfriend to anyone either, and I doubt most here can say they have. I did some things in Vegas that many guys here would flip their shit over if the story was their girlfriend
From the outside with no basis obviously it doesn"t seem like a lot. Again, we"ve dated for the better part of two years, so it"s not like I"m picking up some 22 year old sorority chic to be my buddy, don"t be so dense. I have interest in seeing if our relationship is repairable, I don"t know if I can be friends with her, I don"t know if I will be back with her again one day, but I"m willing to make a rare exception and see how the following days and weeks worth themself out regarding this mess.
Her friends are unreasonably and extremely pissed at her for lying to them about me too, which is weird, because I barely know them. They"re showing themselves to be angrier than even I am (they aren"t, but they"re being more expressive).
Girls are too blame ultimately for situations like this, but I think most of us can admit to being in situations where we could have or tried to get a girl who was with someone else to fool around with them. I pressed the issue with a girl who had a boyfriend once and she slept with me. Ultimately she was to blame obviously, but I had a very serious impact on making sure she fucked up. What goes around I guess
Chalking it up to karma? Do yourself a favor and throw her out of your life, she won"t change and you can"t change her. The end.ham said:
It may be repairable, it all depends on what you can handle. Odds are it isn"t though. Waiting on the days and weeks to pan out is going to be hell on you imo. What are you going to do? Talk about it with her daily? Take her out on a few more dates and have the mindset your working on your relationship?ham said:
Go out, have some fun, hit on some random whores, and get your mojo back. If shes not blowing your phone up and losing her mind when your out having fun without her... she has not been interested for a while.
I"m going to stop you right there. Her friends are eating this shit up and I"d bet that they are playing both sides of the fence on the issue. They are HER friends after all. Don"t talk to them about this. Instead talk/go out with your friends.ham said:
Yep, but when women are dating someone they actually care about and enjoy being with they don"t put themselves in a situation to fuck up.ham said:
Ham you don"t know for sure that all she did was kiss the dude. You really honestly think she would tell the friends straight up to their face you were broken up, just to kiss the dude?....really? If you believe that I"ve got all kinds of make believe shit I want to sell you for oodles of cash.
You need to create a lot of space from this girl. If you don"t you"re just going to make it harder on yourself in the long run, but you"re going to end up at the same point.
Maybe months, or even years down the road you can reconnect and see if she"s still a whore, but for your own good I hope you take everyone"s advice and ditch her man. You really don"t want to find out even worse truths about her than you already know.
You need to create a lot of space from this girl. If you don"t you"re just going to make it harder on yourself in the long run, but you"re going to end up at the same point.
Maybe months, or even years down the road you can reconnect and see if she"s still a whore, but for your own good I hope you take everyone"s advice and ditch her man. You really don"t want to find out even worse truths about her than you already know.
ham
Lord Nagafen Raider
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I don"t know in the sense that I wasn"t in the building when it happened, but I feel fairly confident that"s all that happened. I know forgiveness is frowned upon here, but I"m trying a new way of dealing with this. Normally I don"t believe anything my exes or girls I say have to say after they get caught in an initial lie or two. Like I said I did worse with in Vegas while I was with her and I don"t believe that you necessarily have to be unhappy or deceitful to fuck up. I was out for a good time when I fucked up and very happy with my relationship at home. I realized I fucked up the next morning, kept it to myself, and moved on like it never happened. She came forward with her fuckup, so I will keep her at arms length while I work through everything that"s gone on
Obviously if something else comes out, that"ll be the straw that breaks the camels back.
There"s no excuse for her telling her friends we were not together, it"s the more concerning of the fuckups to me. Literally she"s with this dude for 2 weeks every day, watching sunrises at the grand canyon and seeing all of the west coast and san francisco. I"m not making excuses for her, but if there"s a way to set yourself up to be cheated on, that"s it. I was naive and too confident in things and even though it sucks I got a much needed reality check
Obviously if something else comes out, that"ll be the straw that breaks the camels back.
There"s no excuse for her telling her friends we were not together, it"s the more concerning of the fuckups to me. Literally she"s with this dude for 2 weeks every day, watching sunrises at the grand canyon and seeing all of the west coast and san francisco. I"m not making excuses for her, but if there"s a way to set yourself up to be cheated on, that"s it. I was naive and too confident in things and even though it sucks I got a much needed reality check
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Who said anything about being a smothering, jealous boyfriend? It"s about being a fuckingman. Amandoesn"t go back to being "friends" with the bitch who just ripped his heart out and annihilated his trust. People like that are only going to do it again, especially when theyknowyou"ll fucking forgive them for it.ham said:
But you go ahead and "reconnect" with her. After her "upgrade" plan with this new dude fails, she"ll come crawling back to her next best option(that"s you), you"ll eat that shit up, and then she"ll get to reuse you as a doormat. People like you deserve exactly what you get. You call it karma, I call it being a fucking lapdog.