Girls who broke your heart thread

ho-ly shit.

Haha I think that was just a masterstroke by Ronaan to prove Zeste"s point that not only is the internet MMO generation socially inept and fucked up, but the previous generation is as well.

How can one be so aware of the source of their misery yet refuse to gut and curbstomp it?


Go now and fuck hot climbing biddies.

Go, before you make me more depressed.

Dumar said:

it"s not about working. it"s about yourself and self-respect. concocting and scheming grand plans, movie-length scripts, analyzing messages and conversations with women is something they don"t deserve and it insults your integrity as a person.

women think no differently than your pet; ie, they don"t think. there"s no reason to devote that much attention to them. do you analyze why your hamster runs on its wheel for hours a day? i"m guessing you don"t. do you ever ask yourself why do not analyze his running for hours a day like you do a girls text message? because it"s really the same thing and same thought process--namely none.

just be yourself completely and utterly. if you get less ass because of it, then so what? is that much sex really that big a deal; are you seriously that much of an ape? be yourself, tell the truth, and do what you want when you want; live free. fuck the women who aren"t interested in you if you"re yourself.

Click to expand...

This type of advice turned me into a 26 year old virgin.
Fuck being "yourself".

Being yourself only works if, well, if you"re the type of guy who has absolutely no need to ask for dating advice in the first place. That"s the harsh reality.

Doesn"t mean you need to go all out, construct a fake persona and turn into some peacocking mystery method dickhead talking about "sets" and all sorts of stupid bullshit acronyms. Just means you need to learn to be confident in yourself, address your personality flaws, maybe expand your interests a little, make yourself the kind of person people would want to be around and date, and make sure you understand how women think and how to read their cues.

Ronaan said:

to which she replies with a massive bitching how me getting internet at MY PLACE is grounds for breaking up, because the internet is the work of satan and has only been invented for people to cheat on each other.

Click to expand...

On top of all the other shit, she actually said that and you"re still dating her? Surely you"re not so unattractive that you can"t find someone better to date? The bar is set so low it"s touching the ground at this point, so you"ve got nowhere to go but up.

Ronaan: you"re a pussy, or a slave. Move on.

Celebrindal: She"s lying, she doesn"t have cancer. I got the cancer lie once, women go there because it"s so ridiculous you have trouble not believing it.

Brad: Seriously, relax. She"s a stripper, which is it"s own special brand of crazy woman. You"ve already tried calling her once, so don"t call again, don"t text, nothing. Wait for her to contact you, and if she doesn"t, forget about it. Odds are still very high that she"s just trying to get money out of you, regardless of what has transpired so far.

Desidero said:

On top of all the other shit, she actually said that and you"re still dating her? Surely you"re not so unattractive that you can"t find someone better to date? The bar is set so low it"s touching the ground at this point, so you"ve got nowhere to go but up.

Click to expand...

I know... but like a woman who takes a beating every week, I have to say "she"s not like that all the time" and "when she"s not like that it"s really great".

She actually went through my cellphone while I was driving home to get something once. Accused me of having called a phone sex line (yeah right...). Oddly enough nothing like that showed up on the call listings.
Blanket statement from her: "well people who know about computers know how to manipulate that stuff".

I"ve come to the point where I just look past that stuff, roll my eyes, and wait until she gets back to normal. Usually takes 1-2 days.

Why haven"t I moved on... well, itwouldbe the easy way out. And Idolove her. It"s just that sometimes she"s a bit nuts. And very very distrusting.

As far as looks are concerned, you"re right, I probably don"t look that bad. (see the body improvement thread). She has also aged very well though. So that"s not really the underlying issue.


edit: gavinrad... yeah, I"m probably a pussy. I"m not saying that I"m not. Or maybe I just love her, and would love to find a way to turn it around for our relationship. But then, she might just be a hopeless case of raving lunacy.

Desidero said:

On top of all the other shit, she actually said that and you"re still dating her? Surely you"re not so unattractive that you can"t find someone better to date? The bar is set so low it"s touching the ground at this point, so you"ve got nowhere to go but up.

Click to expand...

Pfft, my girlfriend loves the internet. When she was away for 6 months she figured as long as I was playing WoW there was absolutely no way I was getting laid.... and she was right.

Wow, keeping Long-distance relationships together!

Ronaan said:

she"s the one I want.

Click to expand...

Why exactly?

She is either fucking around behind your back, and deflecting on to you, or she is crazy and getting older is making her even more crazy.

M E N O P A U S E

Better get her some cinnamilk to clear that menopause right up!

gavinrad said:

Brad: Seriously, relax. She"s a stripper, which is it"s own special brand of crazy woman. You"ve already tried calling her once, so don"t call again, don"t text, nothing. Wait for her to contact you, and if she doesn"t, forget about it. Odds are still very high that she"s just trying to get money out of you, regardless of what has transpired so far.

Click to expand...

yeah, I know this. I am not worried about her.

My previous rant was mostly because my ex pisses me off. She demands communication and contact, but she is the only one allowed to ask questions. Me, being the nice guy, gives in to her questions because I do not want to be rude, but god forbid I ask her anything. best way to deal with it is to not talk at all. So lasts nights event with her made all the little things seem so much bigger.

Ronaan said:

I know... but like a woman who takes a beating every week, I have to say "she"s not like that all the time" and "when she"s not like that it"s really great".

She actually went through my cellphone while I was driving home to get something once. Accused me of having called a phone sex line (yeah right...). Oddly enough nothing like that showed up on the call listings.
Blanket statement from her: "well people who know about computers know how to manipulate that stuff".

I"ve come to the point where I just look past that stuff, roll my eyes, and wait until she gets back to normal. Usually takes 1-2 days.

Why haven"t I moved on... well, itwouldbe the easy way out. And Idolove her. It"s just that sometimes she"s a bit nuts. And very very distrusting.

As far as looks are concerned, you"re right, I probably don"t look that bad. (see the body improvement thread). She has also aged very well though. So that"s not really the underlying issue.


edit: gavinrad... yeah, I"m probably a pussy. I"m not saying that I"m not. Or maybe I just love her, and would love to find a way to turn it around for our relationship. But then, she might just be a hopeless case of raving lunacy.

Click to expand...

You"re obviously at the point where you realize she"s fucking crazy and you should get out or you wouldn"t be posting about it. Either you"re going to do it or you"re not. Good luck either way - it"s not an easy decision if you love her. Hopefully the good times are amazing to make up for the crazy shit you posted. I"m by no means a picky guy and I"m willing to put up with things, but I"d be out of there in a heartbeat.

WTF? There are people in this thread that can"t unhook a bra with one hand?

Actually, why am I shocked.

Brad said:

Suggestions? Remember, this is about fun and sex. I am not looking for a future wife.

Click to expand...

Just personal opinion here, but I think the last kind of girl you should be going for right now is a stripper. Personally I still think you need to get your feelings settled regarding the ex, and you"re trying to dive in to random pussy to do that. And it"s probably not gonna help. You SHOULD be looking for someone you connect with on an emotional level.

Brad said:

Eomer???? What happened with Xerxes man?

Click to expand...

Jesus, can a man not have a weekend off?

Lusiphur said:

No Eomer livejournal ? Either it was a trainwreck or he is still banging her brains out

Click to expand...

A little of column A, a little of column B.

Azrayne said:

Doesn"t mean you need to go all out, construct a fake persona and turn into some peacocking mystery method dickhead talking about "sets" and all sorts of stupid bullshit acronyms. Just means you need to learn to be confident in yourself, address your personality flaws, maybe expand your interests a little, make yourself the kind of person people would want to be around and date, and make sure you understand how women think and how to read their cues.

Click to expand...

Very much agreed. I"ll never do any serious amount of "gaming", but just knowing the underlying concepts has helped me immensely in dating. I"m the kind of guy that girls SHOULD be falling over themselves for, but for whatever reason I"ve always been terrible at women and relationships. Just reading this thread and some of the links posted has really helped me to better understand what"s going on with the women I"m dating.

/livejournal

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Okay, so Xerses suggested on Thursday that we check out a restaurant next door to my place on Friday night. We text back and forth and I tell her to bring a change of clothes with her to work so she can change at my place, as I don"t want to wait until 9 oh fucking clock for her to show up. So she texts me around 6 saying she"s going to change at her friend"s place who lives in my building (for the purposes of this post, let"s call her Jill who lives with her fiance Brian).

She comes up to my place and we head out to dinner. It"s a nice little place that"s been open about 5 years, and everyone I"ve taken there has liked it. It"s pretty well known locally as being a good, independent place with decent comfort, diner style food. It"s not super fancy by any means.

She hated it. Complained the entire time about her food. She liked the decor and stuff, but ate maybe two bites of her salmon and didn"t touch it. This whole food and wine critic schtick is getting fucking obnoxious. All she ever does, it seems, is expound upon how much she knows about them. Ugh. So I eat every last bite of my meal, and for good measure, some of her salmon. She seems amazed that I don"t think the food is absolute shit. To her credit, the salmon wasn"t that great, but it was edible.

All the while we"re chatting about stuff in general, and of course the "ex" comes up. Apparently he"s not really an ex, though. She met him in the fall while playing poker (she"s a big poker player). They went out once or twice, nothing much came of it, and over the past 6 months or so they"ve just occasionally chatted or texted but haven"t really gone out with each other at all (she claimed they"ve never had sex). But she ran in to him last weekend (so two days after she did her "hey so someone introduced me to someone at work, are we seeing other people?" shit) while playing poker Saturday night/Sunday morning, and they hung out once or twice since then and now she is all confused because she really liked him but he blew her off and now he"s back saying all the right things and blah blah blah but that she really likes me too and so on. I basically tell her that I can"t make the decision for her, that it"s up to her and try not to get drawn out in to the "do you like me" questions.

She asked me if I was mad or upset about it, and I told her that I wasn"t upset but just a little miffed that she was "seeing" someone else when we"d just had a conversation two days prior to that and had more or less agreed that we weren"t. She disputed that she was "seeing" someone because it wasn"t physical, but I said that didn"t make much difference, as it was someone she was romantically involved with. There"s more detail to it all, but not really necessary to the narrative.

We get up and go to a wine store next door, because I"ve been meaning to pick up a few bottles but don"t really know much about wine and figure she"d enjoy it. It"s also a pretty well known store locally. Right away she"s looking at bottles at $40 and up. I"m like "whoa, this is probably going to be drank by me and my friends at 3am after coming home from a bar, let"s go a little down market here." Ended up getting 5 bottles for about $120 (liquor is hella expensive here, a decent bottle of wine starts at about $12-15, six pack of decent beer is about the same).

So during dinner, she was texting with Jill, and apparently Jill and Brian got in a huge fight and now Jill was all upset etc etc. Jill and Brian are kind of pot heads, and Xerxes buys them their weed from a guy who works at her car dealership. So Jill texts that she wishes she had weed, and Xerxes offers to put her in touch with her guy. Long story short, next thing I know I"m driving the two of them to pick up weed, and then we"re back at my place the three of us smoking a joint while the two of them bitch about her fiance. Woo! Keep in mind I"ve met Jill like twice and they"re talking about the depths of their relationship. I pretty much sit there and fiddle with my HTPC and nod in the appropriate moments.

Xerxes is a part time smoker, much like myself, and decides she wants a pack of smokes around 10:30. She doesn"t seem to handle weed well at all, she gets all fucking weird. Maybe it was the wine and vodka as well, she was at least half a dozen drinks in to the evening. Either way, she gets up and declares she"s going to get a pack of smokes from the grocery store and that Jill and I can stay. Right away the two of us are like "no no, one of us will come with you it"s late and there"s sketchy people around" and she initially refuses, but then agrees to Jill coming. I say "alright, I"ll play some NHL09 and see you guys in a bit." Then all of the sudden she"s asking me to come. At that point I"m pretty much sick of her shit and hope that the two of them leave and don"t come back. I insist on staying and that I"ll see them in a bit.

I get a phone call 20 minutes later, and she"s telling me they"re in a cab because the grocery store was closed and they"re going to the nearest gas station (there was a corner store a block away, dumb cunts). I can"t really understand much of what she"s saying because the two of them are yelling at the cab driver, who is yelling back. Then the call ends. I"m wondering what the fuck is going on, and go back to playing NHL09.

Another 20 minutes pass, and I hear my phone vibrating. As I pick it up, I see that I missed a call. I answer the phone, and Xerxes immediately says "I"m coming back to your place, getting my bag, and leaving." I ask her what the hell she"s talking about. She won"t give any other response than that. So we end the conversation and I sit there wondering just what in the fuck is going on.

So they get back to my place, and I go to the door to let them in. Right away Xerxes grabs me and hugs me and apologizes while Jill stands there rolling her eyes. Apparently she thought I hung up on her the first call, and then didn"t answer the second call, and so she got pissed and decided that she was leaving.

So they come in, and Jill leaves because her fiance is probably home by now and they need to talk, leaving me (finally) with Xerxes. Long story short we have great sex and she leaves around 2am. I mention to her that I"m working most of the day tomorrow. Oh and I forgot to mention, the wine store we were at was having a tasting on Saturday from 11 to 5pm, and she wanted to go.

So Saturday comes, and I"m actually too lazy to go in to work. Instead I spend the day sitting on my ass getting some quality PS3 and PC time in. She texts me at like 10 am saying that we should do brunch one of these days. I ignore it. She calls at 11am, and I ignore it. She leaves a message asking me what I"m up to today. She calls again around 5pm, and I ignore it, no message this time. She texts me at 5:40pm saying that she went to the tasting and bought a bunch of wine and that she"s at Jill"s place eating cheese, drinking wine and that I should come down. I hear a knock on my door at about 6pm (I locked it, which I normally don"t when I"m home). Finally I call her at about 6:30 and tell her that I forgot my phone at home, and that I just got home and will come down.

So I head down to Jill and Brian"s place and we hang out there for a bit, and Xerxes suggests we head up to my place to play some Rock Band, which we do, after smoking a joint (I could get used to this part of the relationship). After about an hour the two of them start begging off, and Xerxes is trying to convince them to come grab a bite with us. I gently persuade her to leave them alone, that they probably want some alone time and so on. So they leave, and the two of us go to another place nearby to grab some burgers and watch the Oilers game (she liked the food for once!). We came back to my place and just hung out for a bit and chatted, no sex, as she was on her rag and things were goddamn messy the night before. She starts talking about brunch on Sunday, and I quickly mention that I had to go in to the office again and wouldn"t be able to and would be booting her out fairly early if she stayed. She got the hint and left about midnight.

And that"s about where we stand as of today. On both Friday and Saturday she very frequently told me how great I was, how much she liked me, how she couldn"t figure out how I didn"t already have a girlfriend, and so on. I"d respond that I liked her too, but never without her first prompting it and for the most part I was just mirroring her comments to get her to shut the fuck up.

I dunno, sometimes she actually IS pretty cool and fun to hang out with. Mostly when it"s just the two of us and food/wine don"t come up in the conversation. She"s very attractive physically and the sex has been great. But sometimes hanging out with her is like biting on tinfoil.

I think what I need to do, is get her out amongst a group of my friends and see how she handles the situation. The first time we met I had two buddies around, and she made a great impression on both. But that was just a first meeting. I"d be curious to see how my friends would react to her and vice versa. All my friends, for the most part, are successful people with their lives together, not necessarily rich or anything but middle class white collar workers. But they have ZERO tolerance for pretentious, snotty bitches, which is what Xerxes often comes across as. So it"d be interesting to see how things went.

Oh and I"m still texting back and forth with another girl I met on PoF the same time as Xerxes. She"s been hard to pin down for a date, as have I. From chatting on the phone she seems cool enough, but I haven"t met her in person.

It"s long gents!

Zeste said:

I"m no Casanova, but is the MMO internet generation really so socially fucked up and inept now that simple things like, you know, going on more than 1 date before determining where a relationship is headed is a lost art?

Click to expand...

You realize PoF = PlentyofFish.com, not Plane of Fear... And my question was pertaining to her body language not how the date ended, I expect these things to take time, I just couldn"t read her very well so I wanted to get some suggestions! And she"s got a banging body so I had to know I was doing the right thing!

P.S. we hugged after, not even a first kiss! This is gonna be a tough nut to crack me thinks!

Ronaan said:

My woman is fucking nuts.

This will be lengthy.

We"ve been together for over 4 years now (sept 2004). I moved in with her and her two kids about 3 months later (mistake #1). Kids were 10 and 12 at the time (turned 15 and 17 early this year).

The woman is 10 years older than me (I"m 35, she"s 45). We both work at the same company (mistake #2), though not at the same place.

December 2006, I moved out. Went back to my parents" place. It just didn"t work any more. Her kids were assholes towards her, she was bitter, relationship sucked. I had taken to sitting in the guest room playing WoW a lot of the time. At least that way I could stay out of their fights.

She wanted me back though, and me being the fool I am, fell for it. So a few weeks later, we"re together again. We plan to go on holiday together, and her asshole son won"t let us look up places on his computer (she doesn"t have one herself). I mention in passing that I"ll just look stuff up when I get home... to which she replies with a massive bitching how me getting internet at MY PLACE is grounds for breaking up, because the internet is the work of satan and has only been invented for people to cheat on each other.

Yeah, not like she has a cellphone or something... which would work just as well.

Anyway, there"s some breaking up and some getting back together over the next few months. Highlight was probably around easter 2008 where we got back together for the last time (for now).

Things seemed to be alright from then on. I bought my own apartment mid of last year, spend the weekends with her and her kids, work a 2nd job for some funny money and non-financial benefits, and find a sport that I really like (climbing).

She doesn"t like my 2nd job, which is roughly 6-10 hours a week at the local climbing gym. I spend too much time there, and not enough time with her. And when we don"t see each other, we have to (HAVE TO) talk on the phone for at least 1 hour a day.

I assure her again and again (and again) that she"s the one I want. She doesn"t believe me, always putting a thick layer of mistrust under our relationship. Oh who am I kidding, our relationship is swimming in a vast sea of mistrust.

This shit is starting to get really boring over time. She makes it seem like every woman out there wants to jump on my dick, when in reality women were never really that interested in me.

I should probably just give in, tell her to get lost, and really do one (or a few) of the climber girls. Just to reassure her in her opinion of men and women. But that would seem like taking the easy way out.

I do love her, but I can"t seem to get that into her head... just because her ex was a cheating asshole doesn"t mean I"m one too...

Ah fuck.
She hasn"t broken my heart yet, but may well end up doing so if she keeps going on like this.

Click to expand...

Maybe the age difference is the issue? Given her incessant jealousy combined with her distrust of your internet use, it sounds quite likely that she"s worried that she"ll lose you to a younger, more attractive woman without the baggage of kids etc.