lost: You are driving her car and find her cell phone proving she"s cheating on you. Under no circumstance should you have moved her out. Ideally you should have turned around on immediately, driven home to your house, left her car there, and take yours out to meet some friends for a beer. Leaving her with no way to contact you and find out where you are (no cell phone) and no way to know where or why you left. That scenario was so fucking perfect for a "fuck you" farewell that I came a little when I got to that part. Even if you had to talk to her first (you didn"t, there is no legit explanation) you shoulda taken a cab home or something if she was actually gonna leave you there (she wouldn"t), regardless of the cost. Have some dignity.
bofa, cooking date is great idea. It is so good that there is only 1 real way I can think of to fuck it up, and that is to invite her by saying "let me make you dinner." Soooo bad. "Let me do x for you" is one sentence you should never say in your life, ever, to a girl. Here you have a great night planned with a great skill that women love to see in men, and you ruin it by telling her that she is doing you a favor by "LETTING" you cook for her.
Say "I want you to come over to my place, I"m gonna cook." Or some variation of that.
Eomer:I"ve read 100% of what you"ve written about this girl. At this point, I can"t picture a scenario where in a week she says "ok, I figured it all out, it"s solved, and now lets get back together and live happily ever after." Ask yourself honestly, can you? Somewhere, somehow, you lost her. I don"t know how or if you did anything wrong or she is just one of those girls that likes rollercoaster relationships and getting beaten by drunk husbands, but somehow you lost her.
There are 2 options I see, but I have absolutely no idea which is ideal or even if any of them will work. My instinct tells me that waiting around is gonna do jack shit. Again, can you picture any case where a guy who "waited around" actually got the girl? So, option (A) is take control, be demanding with her and let her know that time is up and if she hasn"t figured her shit out you are gonna move on. Option (B) is pull away, as clearly and blatantly as you can, respond to her texts with 0 effort (e.g. "what are you doing", "nothing"...."how was your day?" "fine") and putting in nothing. There is also option (C) which is make plans with her for the wedding, and on the day of you call and cancel and go out with friends for a beer or something, which would royally piss her off and with any luck, put the power right back into your hands. Risky, assholeish, but I kind of like that option.
For option (A), if she is ready again but just waiting for you to take initiative, you win. However if she really lost interest and hasn"t regained it, she pulls away more and game over.
For option (B), if she has lost interest, by pulling away and acting like you don"t give a shit, you ignite the fear of loss inside of her and if she still has feelings for you she will try to get you back. The down side is if she is a girl that has no initiative and tends to let life happen to her rather than take control of life herself, she will let you go and just be sad about it.
For option (C), it is the most manipulative and not conducive to a long-lasting relationship, but I think it has the best chance of success.
I like (B). I think she lost feelings somehow and you need to remind her how much she likes you by pulling away. You can"t half ass it though and can"t be afraid to go against the inborn social ritual norms that you have, such as reciprocating politeness & interest. You gotta make a point of being short as much as possible and never reassure her. If you are doing this right you will feel very uncomfortable when you talk to her, you"ll feel like you"re being excessively impolite. If you don"t, you"re doing it wrong.
Good luck. I"m very curious which one is the best route. But please please please PICK one and commit to it. I think it"s the only hope you have.