Etoille said:
cutlery is pretty obviously trying to convince himself over anyone else that marriage is teh bestest. and the fact that he just told you that its ok to get married for the kids should be a pretty big indicator as to whats really going on and why he"s doing the hard sell on marriage being the only life worth living.
You"re a fucking retard, plain and simple. You"re a goddamned E-lawyer, an E-psychologist, and a E-dipshit. I have never once said fucking anywhere that my marriage is the best. It"s pretty good, however. We"ve been together for 11 years and don"t hate each other and don"t fight much. That"s pretty much all. Pretending that I"ve claimed otherwise doesn"t further your point.
That being said, is it easier? It sure the fuck is. Reducing expenses, combining incomes, allowing the both of you to be under one insurance plan...yeah, you guys are right, there"s sure no financial benefits there. I"m sure that none of that stuff has never played a part in a decision to get married ever. I"m also pretty sure that ""shotgun" weddings are still basically the norm in a lot of this country when a pregnancy is involved. Pretending that marriage is a decision that is solely based upon your love for another person is fallacy, plain and simple. Stop reading into shit and inferring your fucking problems on me. Sure looks like Daddy didn"t love you, so I guess you should just be lucky you"re too fat to dance on a pole and stop pretending you have all the answers.
Tarrant"s situation is simple. The dude knocked a chick up. You guys are gonna pass judgement on that? Didn"t we have a discussion a few pages back about STD scares? So that means anyone involved in that discussion clearly isn"t using condoms every time. You really wanna throw stones at a guy for that because you"re a couple thrusts away from being in the same boat? Don"t sit there and preach and pretend like it couldn"t be you, because it could.
Now, he"s got a couple of choices. He can be a deadbeat dad...bolt, change his address and his phone number and never talk to her again. Hey, that"s sure an honorable road to follow. We should all be pressing him into this situation so that we"ve got some fresh blood for this thread in 18 years.
Or, he can try his best to make the situation work. It is what it is, all you can do is make the best of it. Everyone dogging marriage as being a permanent, life changing decision with far reaching consequences is on the right track, but falls short of the goal. The benefit of marriage here is that it"s a lot more work to dissolve it. You guys just break up with chicks over email or some shit when things aren"t looking good. There"s no incentive to work things out because breaking up and moving on is a lot less work. If you"re married to the girl, there"s a built in hindrance to that mindset. Getting divorced is a much more time consuming matter than simply sitting down and talking about your issues in an attempt to resolve them and stay together. Can you still break up with your wife? Sure, if the differences are so deep that you can"t reconcile them at all, that"s an option. But at least it prevents one of you from flying off the handle and ending it in a fit of rage over one night.
If we weren"t married, my wife and I wouldn"t be together right now. I"ve fucked up pretty badly before, and I"m not afraid to admit it. I wouldn"t have blamed her for leaving me. But she stuck around long enough for me to realize that I was being a fucking dumbass, and when I took steps to correct the problems and be who she needed me to be, she was still talking to me because we were married. The same could not be said if we weren"t. My kid would be shuffled back and forth between homes, treated like some kind of commodity in a sick game of cat and mouse, and not receiving the benefit of an upbringing in a stable home with both parents. If you don"t think that"s a worthwhile benefit for a child, then we"re just never going to agree on things.
My marriage isn"t some fucking utopia. I"ve never said it was. We"ve both fucked up pretty badly, but the bond is a lot more than skin deep. We"re not some passing fad like your girlfriend, who you can dump when you get sick of (or when she"s sick of you). There"s an incentive to sit down and work shit out and not resent each other. I don"t speak because I"m trying to convince myself that my marriage is great. I speak from experience, which is something a good many of you lack.
