Ok, so something recently resurfaced for me, and I"m kind of confused...hopefully you guys can figure this out because I"ve got no clue tbh.
It all started with some pictures on facebook of my significant other and an ex-boyfriend of hers. I"d seen them before, and in the earliest stages of us being together, where I was still courting her, there were no problems ("Oh, cool. Moving on."). Anyway, fast forward, and we are both in love with each other, we"re exclusive, we"ve been "together" for some time, etc.
Anyway, facebook likes suggesting pictures to me, and it just happened to throw up one of the aforementioned photos. I checked it out, and then continued to check out most every single one of her and him...it"s because I noticed something strange. Now, everyone is prone to irrational or strange behaviors...I probably am more so than some others, since I don"t have much relationship experience. But after looking at the photos, I noticed that in 90% of the ones with her ex, she was smiling more, having more fun, and enjoying herself more so than when she"s with me. To prove it, somewhat, majority of the pictures of us there"s a noticeable change in how she looks and the tone of it.
Needless to say, for whatever reason, this made me feel pretty insecure. I talked to her about it, and she basically told me that the nature of their relationship had been different, that he was a goofier guy, and that it didn"t mean she isn"t happy with me.
Our discussion never really spread beyond that, just because she couldn"t understand my point of view. Basically, I believe I was affected by this to such a degree because my main goal is to make her as happy as possible, and for her to laugh as much as possible. Seeing someone else she was romantically involved with do it better kind of knocked me on my ass. (She has friends she has fun with, but isn"t romantically interested in.)
Our relationship is currently long distance, and when I mentioned it to a friend, he suggested I put it out of my mind and see if this still persists when I"m with her straight for a good 6-12 months. I thought it was a good idea, but for some reason, the insecure feelings resurface and all I think about is how she could be having a much better relationship with someone else and generally having loads more fun. It actually makes me want to break things off with her when I think that she"s having so much less fun with me.
So, basically...what the fuck? Is this normal, or not? If it is, should I act on my desire to end it? If not, what the hell do I do to ignore it and wait until I can act on my friend"s suggestion? Apart from that, am I paranoid? Why so insecure? I"m quite confused to be honest..this is a problem for me...but...apart from the reason I gave: "Basically, I believe I was affected by this to such a degree because my main goal is to make her as happy as possible, and for her to laugh as much as possible," WHY would it be a problem? -_-
