Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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Women don"t like to do anything ending in ING unless it has SHOPP or BITCH in front of it.Rule said:
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Grad school maybe, but at my school 80% of the females are 18-21 and not worth the time(that is even if you can find one without baggage).kegkilla said:
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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heh, that"s like an eternity. Although I suppose that can be tempered by how often you see each other. I wouldn"t say I have rules or even guidelines, but in the past 5 years (I"m 30 now) I haven"t waited past 3 dates except for with one girl. But I think it was the 4th with her. And that"s dating quality girls in their early 20"s to early 30"s. However that"s "real" dates, like dinner and a show/movie/concert/game or something else that takes up the better part of an evening. Shit like a quick coffee or drink doesn"t count.Sharmai said:
Any more than that and I"d think I was just wasting my time, or being groomed for friend zone territory. If I"m dating a girl and she doesn"t WANT to jump my bones, then why the fuck would I continue seeing her? I shouldn"t have to convince someone to get nekkid with me, they should want to once they"ve established I"m not a dirtbag or loser.
Atlantis, near as I can figure.Phoenix said:
You"re talking about the past, I"m talking about the current times and the future. Times have changed and the "rules" change as each year passes. That"s how it is. Women are damn near obligated to exhaust whatever means necessary to chase their youth. Even if the child"s father is not in their life and no actual drama comes with them, they"re still viewed as baggage. Dating a single mom is just not cool. That"s how it is.Seths said:
10, 20 years ago? Yeah, it wasn"tthathard for women to find and keep men. Now it is harder. I am also talking about "normal" single moms with her child(ren) being from the same man and not someone who"s kids have multiple dads or are results of one-night-stands or anything showing irresponsibility. Not like many men truly give a shit about how the child came about. Sadly we sort of all get categorized as irresponsible sluts in one way or another. You could be a good person, you could have been raped (then they avoid you thinking you"re headwrecked) or you could have been married and got cheated on (then they avoid you thinking you"re jaded) -- regardless of the situation, single moms aren"t as desirable as childless women are.
I"m not saying all men think this way, but I will say that I feel if I took a guy who I had great chemistry with and we had a lot in common then put a childless woman next to me who didn"t have as much in common with the man as I do, she"d probably still get picked over me. Then if she were younger than me, had the same upbringing, or cultural background as him...I"d be screwed.
It"s not just having a kid after you hit your mid-30"s as a woman, you"re now competing with younger women that are preferred over you, especially when the guy is older than the both of you.
Speak for the girls you date, son, not for women.Silence said:
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Let me turn it around on you Rav. Everything else being equal, whyshouldn"tanother man"s child be a potential point against a woman from the perspective of a desirable male?
I mean shit, I have a good friend who found out he had a son with a one night stand a few years back, when the kid was already 3. Long story short, even though his son is 1000 miles away and has zero impact on his day to day life (he"s as involved with his son as he can be, he"s a good father in difficult circumstances) he is very careful about revealing the fact he has a son to women, because that is a big turn off for a lot of women in the 20"s as well. Although I don"t think it"s as big as he perceives to it be, it"s definitely there.
I mean shit, I have a good friend who found out he had a son with a one night stand a few years back, when the kid was already 3. Long story short, even though his son is 1000 miles away and has zero impact on his day to day life (he"s as involved with his son as he can be, he"s a good father in difficult circumstances) he is very careful about revealing the fact he has a son to women, because that is a big turn off for a lot of women in the 20"s as well. Although I don"t think it"s as big as he perceives to it be, it"s definitely there.
Well there is one other thing that attracts men to childless women which is that they are still tight down there.
I know a lot of men and women will say it snaps right back but no it really doesn"t. It"s not super loose or anything after having a child but you would be lying or really blessed to say you don"t notice the difference.
For me personally I can describe the difference like this (yes my wife practices cugels and our baby was small FYI): before the baby she was tight burgeoning on painful and when wet it you could feel the pulse of her heartbeat through your groin. Now I can only feel that pulse during her orgasms and while it is still decently tight before orgasm it loosens way the he"ll up after. Usually after she orgasms the pressure loss is enough that the pleasure is downgraded to much to continue in that position.
It"s like giving yourself a hand job then all of a sudden reducing the pressure. Sure it"s still good and if you try long enough you"ll still get off but it"s obviously not as good as it was.
That said if you are only with a women for how good she is in bed then find a girl with daddy issues because no normal women can ever compare to that kind of sex.
I know a lot of men and women will say it snaps right back but no it really doesn"t. It"s not super loose or anything after having a child but you would be lying or really blessed to say you don"t notice the difference.
For me personally I can describe the difference like this (yes my wife practices cugels and our baby was small FYI): before the baby she was tight burgeoning on painful and when wet it you could feel the pulse of her heartbeat through your groin. Now I can only feel that pulse during her orgasms and while it is still decently tight before orgasm it loosens way the he"ll up after. Usually after she orgasms the pressure loss is enough that the pleasure is downgraded to much to continue in that position.
It"s like giving yourself a hand job then all of a sudden reducing the pressure. Sure it"s still good and if you try long enough you"ll still get off but it"s obviously not as good as it was.
That said if you are only with a women for how good she is in bed then find a girl with daddy issues because no normal women can ever compare to that kind of sex.
Erronius
Macho Ma'am
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Is that a bad thing? I don"t think its really any of my business and I"m not about to give a woman a -internet because of anything like that at all. It sounds almost as if you"re expecting men to think about it and give certain women a pass, when for me I don"t really think about it at all (no passes needed because I don"t care). And I know some men might be like that, but having a child out of wedlock or divorcing because of abuse doesn"t even come into the equation. What concerns me is what I would have to deal with *NOW*...if the mother has issues, or if I look at a woman and her current frightening family dynamic, then I care. I"ve tried puttingthatstuff out of my mind before and soldiering on, but in the end I had to accept that there are things I can"t or shouldn"t attempt to fix.Ravvenn said:
Yes, all single mothers do get lumped together. But the rest of the above, I don"t think guys care whether it was rape or immaculate conception. All I think most guys care about is kids or no kids, bitch or not a bitch, crazy or not crazy, soap opera or not a soap opera. And attractive or unattractive, I"d be lying otherwise.Ravvenn said:
It depends. Younger women have downsides as well, such as being immature and unexperienced (I used to have my bar set at 21+, and I currently seem to be at 25+ or higher). Really it depends on the man in question here. Is he ready to take on the challenge of children as well? And even I was never sure about that question and I"m not sure now, but I"ve made a go of it in the past /shrug. When I think back to the mothers I had relationships with, pretty much all of them were pretty awesome. It was just that after a while, when the kids came into play and we had dated long enough that there needed to be some integration, that "family" dynamic crashed and burned. A lot of the time I"d seen the insanity and knew what I was in for if I stayed the course, and I jumped ship sooner rather than later. Other times it wasn"t visible until much later, and that just made it painful. Hell, I had one single mother drop me instantly the very first time I expressed a reservation about her and the kids. She said I was wasting her time, and all I had brought up was some things I thought we would need to work on if we kept seeing each other - which I had been more than willing to do. A lot of single mothers want to beTHEchild rearer, it"s hard to do alone and as a result many have problems, men naturally expect discipline of some degree, and as soon as I touched on the subject she told me we were done. WTF. Hopefully she"s happy with some floormat that simply reiterates the "yes dear, no dear" responses repeatedly and lets her wear the pants in the relationship while he gets relegated to the role of the familial Caspar Milquetoast.Ravvenn said:
I"m not saying it"s easy for single women, but damnit there are a couple that I would have married (including one that I asked), kids included, if they could have gotten over all of the baggage that they had brought with them from thier past relationships. I"ve had single mothers tell me that they"d NEVER get married or let a man lord it over them, others had laid out almost a grocery list of demands and requirements before we"d even created a wet spot together. In my case that"s why I"d be more likely to pursue a single woman - it isn"t that I don"t like or want kids (though I"d be cool with never having any), it"s that every time I"ve been with a single mother, it"s been (single woman no kids drama)^8. I could deal with baby sitters, meeting at her place because a child was sick, sleeping over but unable to have sex for fear of waking a child or children, hell I dated one woman long enough for the children to start calling me daddy. It"s just all the drama and baggage, and guys just can"t do anythingABOUTthat.
I"ve never noticed that myself, but it"s probably sue to my massive girth.Sharmai said:
Besides, wtf are you talking about? Aren"t you a black man? Let me get my Big Book of Stereotypes out, lol.
@Erronius Oh I have my black stereotypes but girth isn"t the problem. It"s more of a before and after thing. If you"ve been with a women and before it was super tight and excellently wet then she has a baby and now it"s only sometimes tight your girth isnt going to change that.
I dont care how big you are , you are never going to fill her up as fully as you did before she pushed one out and that difference is definitely noticable.
I dont care how big you are , you are never going to fill her up as fully as you did before she pushed one out and that difference is definitely noticable.
Well she"s only the second chick I"ve been with BEFORE and AFTER she had a kid (only this one is mine) and in both cases the difference was noticeable. I"m not saying it was cavernous or anything but if you are telling me your women had a baby and snapped back exactly like she was before then you are lying your ass off.
Just google it, it"s not like this is a new issue. And if you have ever slept with a single mom and then went back to a women without kids you should have immediately noticed the difference in tightness and pressure along the whole shaft before and after orgasm. But most especially after she orgasms. It helps if you last long enough for her to orgasm two or three times then you can feel it better.
In the heat of the moment you usually don"t think about this thing until the sex is regular.
Just google it, it"s not like this is a new issue. And if you have ever slept with a single mom and then went back to a women without kids you should have immediately noticed the difference in tightness and pressure along the whole shaft before and after orgasm. But most especially after she orgasms. It helps if you last long enough for her to orgasm two or three times then you can feel it better.
In the heat of the moment you usually don"t think about this thing until the sex is regular.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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My wife has always been multi-orgasmic, and generally manages 2-4 per session. So uhh, yeah, I"m still gonna go with no on that one.
You sure this isn"t one of those things that guys invented like when the inner labia is large that she"s a whore and has been blown out? Because that"s exactly what this fucking sounds like. If we go a week without doing it, the wife is right back to virgin-can"t-get-it-in tight, so I"m gonna go ahead and dismiss this one as bullshit.
You sure this isn"t one of those things that guys invented like when the inner labia is large that she"s a whore and has been blown out? Because that"s exactly what this fucking sounds like. If we go a week without doing it, the wife is right back to virgin-can"t-get-it-in tight, so I"m gonna go ahead and dismiss this one as bullshit.
@TheCutlery Thanks The Ancient. This thing you call bullshit has a surgical procedure to fix it that"s called Vaginoplasty. It"s usually only needed for the extreme cases but even in your average normal births there is a loss of pressure and tightening of the vaginal muscles.
It"s an extremely common issue (the less pressure issue not the surgery to fix it though that is common somewhat).
If your wife is truly as tight as a virgin after childbirth then either you are extremely blessed or you haven"t had a virgin before.
It"s an extremely common issue (the less pressure issue not the surgery to fix it though that is common somewhat).
If your wife is truly as tight as a virgin after childbirth then either you are extremely blessed or you haven"t had a virgin before.
kegkilla
The Big Mod
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raped? really? that subset of women is extremely small, and if a woman wasn"t willing to abort the fetus of a rapist that was forced inside her i"d be questioning her judgment and sanity rather than how responsible she is. i also don"t buy "i"m divorced because my husband cheated on me" as a good excuse for being a single mother. when men cheat it"s usually only a physical thing. if that"s the case, is that reason enough to put your child through hell and leave the man you married? well, there"s obviously a lot of other variables at play there, but more often than not i feel it shouldn"t be if there is a child involved. when you start to look at the subset of divorced women with children, it becomes a matter of "well, she couldn"t make a marriage work with the father of her children, what"s the likelihood that this one will work?" i don"t have any numbers to back this on hand, but i would bet that statistics show women who have been divorced are more likely to divorce again than women who haven"t.Ravvenn said:
it"s pretty much like this: does being a high school drop out guarantee that someone is a complete dumbass? no, there are some legitimate reasons for dropping out of high school, and some pretty smart people have dropped out of high school. however, the odds are astoundingly in the favor of a high school drop out being a total dipshit. same thing applies to being a single mother. there exists some understandable reasons for a woman to be in that situation and it doesn"t guarantee that said woman is irresponsible/a whore/crazy, but statistically it"s going to be a lot more likely.
if you couldn"t tell i work a lot with statistics.
kegkilla
The Big Mod
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yep.kegkilla said:
Divorce statistics in America for marriage
Marriage Divorce statistics (in percent)
First Marriage 45% to 50% marriages end in divorce
Second Marriage 60% to 67% marriages end in divorce
Third Marriage 70% to 73% marriages end in divorce
Divorce Statistics : Divorce Rate Statistics
How many single mothers do you know in the age range of 45 - 80 do you know of today? Personally I don"t know any that aren"t single because, like I said, their husband passed on. I would wager that whatever the number is it is very small. I would also bet good money that 10 - 20 years from now when today"s crop of 20 - 30 somethings single mothers are in that age range they too found love again and were able to marry or re-marry.Ravvenn said:
I agree with you that when you are talking about 20, 30, even early 40 year old guys we do view women with kids as sort of a scarlet letter. My point wasn"t that, because on that point I agree with you and it really is harder for a woman with kids to find the right guy, it was that I completely disagree with your statement implying that if you were to become single again you"d end up staying single, not by your choice, for the rest of your life.
I just don"t think life works that way. We are social creatures by nature, and because of that Love always has a way of finding us unless we really try hard to avoid it.