Girls who broke your heart thread

Why do people always try to take some unique viewpoint just for the sake of being different? "It doesn"t matter what her mom thinks of you." Are you fuckin serious? Of course it does. Does she EVER talk to her mom? Yes? Then it matters a huge amount. If she hates you, she"s gonna take any opportunity to pull you apart. If you go through a rough time in the relationship, her mom will be there ready to tell her all the reasons you suck, rather than all the reasons why she should stick it out with you.

I"m guessing something has to change for the relationship to have a future.

Dis"s 2 points were good. She has to tell her mom to fuck off forever, or she has to tell her mom she isn"tallowedto criticize you anymore, ever.

However, she"s 22 and not out of college? You guys are probably gonna break up anyway at some point, regardless of her mom.

If she"s still living at home then she"s probably just biding her time until she can graduate, and get out of there. I guess you would have to evaluate exactly how strong her relationship with her mother is. If she hates her mother I don"t really see a problem. People cut bait with their parents all the time. I definitely agree with adebisi, if you really like the girl just give the mom a shit eating grin every time you see her.

If she really has a close relationship with her mother, is religious like her mother, etc your relationship has an expiration date unless you are willing to wade hip deep through streams of bullshit. I knew a guy, his mother in law still refers to him as "that boy," and asks her daughter when she"s going to marry a decent guy - after 7 years. Hahaha.

Much like the lurker above me I usually wouldn"t post in this Leviathan of a thread but I saw the words "traditional Italian family" and thought I"d tried to help while there are still recognizable pieces of you left.

Stay out of it. There is nothing you can do, this one has to be between her and her mom. Walking into an Italian Family fight is like bleeding and thrashing in front of a shark. If you have to say something say "Baby, this upsets me because I like (love, whatever) you and I like your family (even if its not true). I just want to make sure she"s not upsetting you." I"m pretty sure she"ll love you for it. She"s probably getting enough grief from her family and since they sound pretty unreasonable it"s probably not the first time, so the less crap she gets from you the more likely she is to tell them to fuck off in the long run. If you insult her family, she may feel honor bound to defend them even if they"re making her miserable. So keep the high ground, focus on keeping your relationship with her how you want it and let her deal with her mom.

I"d say take it back to her. Come up with cogent arguments why the god of the bible can"t exist (See atheism thread aka Lumie moonbat central for pro tips) and present them calmly next time her mother mentions church or religion. Present it in a "I found a neat website that said..." kind of way. If her mom really is one of the superbitches of Xianity you"ll get to see some amusing fireworks before long.

Do discuss this strategy with the g/f before putting it into play, though. She will take even more shit from mom if she"s still living under their roof.

WTF you are honestly suggesting he gets into a religious argument with her ultra-religious mom? What do you think she"ll suddenly be like "OH SHIT I WAS WRONG!!! PLEASE SEX MY DAUGHTER ON THE TABLE!!!" after he logically disproves God?

Schezanna said:

I"d say take it back to her. Come up with cogent arguments why the god of the bible can"t exist (See atheism thread aka Lumie moonbat central for pro tips) and present them calmly next time her mother mentions church or religion. Present it in a "I found a neat website that said..." kind of way. If her mom really is one of the superbitches of Xianity you"ll get to see some amusing fireworks before long.

Do discuss this strategy with the g/f before putting it into play, though. She will take even more shit from mom if she"s still living under their roof.

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If this was opposite day, I would say do exactly this, but alas, it isnt. So do exactly the opposite of this.

ROFL, if you do decide to do the above, make sure you tell us how it turned out for you

TheCutlery said:

Don"t date people that still live at home when you"re 26. See how that works out for awhile, and report back.

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Not everyone is a nuclear style family, don"t assume they are. What ridiculous standards we have.

Darus Grey said:

Not everyone is a nuclear style family, don"t assume they are. What ridiculous standards we have.

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I wouldn"t want to be in a relationship with anyone who is dependent on their parents.

I was gonna say that at 26 if you"re dating girls around your age or possibly a bit younger, a good chunk of them are going to be living at home. Maybe not the majority, but close anyway. In today"s day and age people don"t move out of their parents" basement until their mid to late 20"s.

So long as you have your own place, I don"t see it being a big limitation on dating.

Vinen said:

I wouldn"t want to be in a relationship with anyone who is dependent on their parents.

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How old are you though? I"m 30 and yeah it would be a bit strange for the girls I"m dating to be living at home, because they"re in their late 20"s or early 30"s. But a guy who is 26 is going to be dating girls 20-25 most likely. That age group by all probability is going to be living at home.

My turn to join this thread

12 years, married, 2 kids. "Perfect couple"-appearance to family, friends and... me. But apparently not to her.

That"s enough for now. This hurts.

Vinen said:

I wouldn"t want to be in a relationship with anyone who is dependent on their parents.

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There"s a difference between being dependent and being interdependent. Yeah, if you"re almost 30 and are still DEPENDENT on your parents for survival then you"re unarguably a loser, but most of the time you have a job, have started or have a career, and use living at home to save money; it"s the responsible mature thing to do for many and affords you a much better quality of life later on.

Granted it varies a lot depending on area, but in WNY for instance it seems really odd for kids to move out from their parents until they"re married/serious longterm or until almost 30 or longer.

I don"t want to debate about which is better, I was just pointing out to TC that his perception of family and independence is not the "norm" for everyone, and giving such a hard statement like that based only on his own experience is bad at best.

Eomer said:

I was gonna say that at 26 if you"re dating girls around your age or possibly a bit younger, a good chunk of them are going to be living at home. Maybe not the majority, but close anyway. In today"s day and age people don"t move out of their parents" basement until their mid to late 20"s.

So long as you have your own place, I don"t see it being a big limitation on dating.

Of course there is a 50/50 chance that it is daddy paying her apartment bills and not her but even then it"s still usually better to pick the chick with the apartment.

.

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Most women at that age probably will be living at home still but if you aim only for women who have their own place you will quickly find a massive difference in the quality of women you date.

A women at 26 who has her shit together enough to have her own place, pay her bills, keep her place clean , etc. is >>>>>> then one who doesn"t.

My turn to join this thread

12 years, married, 2 kids. "Perfect couple"-appearance to family, friends and... me. But apparently not to her.

That"s enough for now. This hurts.

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I"m really sorry. I don"t know of any advice to say a 12 year marriage. Sometimes counseling and talking work and sometimes it doesn"t. I"ve never seen any perfect advice for saving a dying marriage.

Sure, I wouldn"t disagree with you in general terms. But in specific terms? It could well be that a girl at 25 living with her parents has just graduated college or gotten her first job and is saving up for a downpayment, or wants to go traveling before she settles in to her career, or her roommate moved away and it was convenient to move in with the parents for the time being, or or or or.

Frankly if I"m on a date with someone and it comes up that she"s living with her parents still, I"m not going to give it much thought unless it becomes apparent that she"s a spoiled brat that IS dependent on her parents.

Darus Grey said:

I don"t want to debate about which is better, I was just pointing out to TC that his perception of family and independence is not the "norm" for everyone, and giving such a hard statement like that based only on his own experience is bad at best.

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TC has also said in the past that pretty much any woman approaching 30 or past it without kids must have massive psychological baggage or other problems because she hasn"t been married and cranked out kids, then repeatedly ignored statistical evidence showing that most college educated women (ie the more desirable ones) don"t settle until their late 20"s.

Sharmai said:

I"m really sorry. I don"t know of any advice to say a 12 year marriage. Sometimes counseling and talking work and sometimes it doesn"t. I"ve never seen any perfect advice for saving a dying marriage.

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Indeed.

It"s life though. 12 years is a long time. We were 18 when we met. People change. Intellectually it"s not hard to understand.

Dabamf said:

However, she"s 22 and not out of college? You guys are probably gonna break up anyway at some point, regardless of her mom.

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Everyone is probably going to break up anyway at some point, regardless of anything.

Daelos said:

Indeed.

It"s life though. 12 years is a long time. We were 18 when we met. People change. Intellectually it"s not hard to understand.

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Well the good news is you are only 30. In a year or two you should have pulled yourself together enough that you can date again.

Just remember that at your age your available dating pool is 18 - 45 years old. You could probably go to 18 but ... well just no. With 2 kids, zero need for another commitment, and already got your shit together? I"d say get snipped and go crazy..