GIRL (10:51:15 PM): snuggle time!!!
ME (10:51:58 PM): get the pillows I"ll grab my beer
GIRL (10:52:19 PM): ok!
ME (10:52:47 PM): ok beer here, sorry i puked all over you
GIRL (10:53:15 PM): that"s not nice
ME (10:53:33 PM): its ok I wiped it up with paper towels. BRAWNY TOWELS!!!
GIRL (10:53:44 PM): grodey...
ME (10:54:16 PM): you"re killing the mood
GIRL (10:54:28 PM): you are, pukey
ME (10:54:56 PM): well I cleaned it up with paper towels, what do you expect from me? Do you want me to eat it?
GIRL (10:55:14 PM): sick...no you were supposed to puke elsewhere
GIRL (10:56:02 PM): ugh just shut up and snuggle...
ME (10:56:06 PM): alright well im going to go pass out in the bath tub now
GIRL (10:56:12 PM): noooooo
ME (10:56:25 PM): ugggg this bathtub is freezing
GIRL (10:56:58 PM): lol come into the bed instead... just pass out I"ll snuggle
ME (10:57:44 PM): ok, I"m laying in bed with droll coming out the right side of my mouth. I"m snooring very loudly.
GIRL (10:58:06 PM): I"ll cuddle on the left and put in some ear plugs
ME (10:58:19 PM): I just farted
GIRL (10:58:46 PM): I just kicked you onto the floor...if you didn"t want to cuddle you could have just said so
ME (10:59:19 PM): ok I return promising not to fart under the covers and trap you under them this time
GIRL (10:59:33 PM): thank you
GIRL (10:59:34 PM):
ME (11:00:09 PM): I am watching the 11 o clock news and complaining about the current state of the economic affairs
GIRL (11:00:26 PM): lol I still have the ear plugs in
ME (11:00:59 PM): I raise my knees up under the covers trying to hide it, but I clearly have a boner
GIRL (11:01:13 PM): lol grossssss
GIRL (11:01:14 PM): lol
ME (11:02:24 PM): its ok I took the glass of ice water I had next to the bed and slyly killed my erection. My knees go back to their normal resting state and you"re none the wiser.
GIRL (11:02:39 PM): whew that was close!
ME (11:02:54 PM): I fart again but blame it on the cat
GIRL (11:03:10 PM): ugh why so gassy?
ME (11:03:35 PM): I had the double beef burrito from Taco Bell for only 89?
GIRL (11:03:53 PM): hmmm I had a taco tonight....no farting
ME (11:05:10 PM): ok its a commercial so I roll over and cuddle with you clearly with an eye still watching the TV
GIRL (11:05:27 PM): lol
GIRL (11:05:44 PM): perfect .... even though I"m WELL aware of the eye still on the TV
ME (11:06:25 PM): I say "This doesn"t really feel like a bag of sand" as I poke your boob
GIRL (11:07:42 PM): hmmm and that doesn"t feel like a ....snake?
ME (11:08:18 PM): what you are grabbing hisses and it is in fact a deadly king cobra
GIRL (11:08:29 PM): lol shut up
ME (11:09:36 PM): nevermind. What i thought was a deadly king cobra turned out to be my penis. Silly me.
GIRL (11:10:16 PM): well either way... you scared me enough to make me not at all interested in your penis/snake
ME (11:11:00 PM): I fart again.
GIRL (11:11:29 PM): I slip some beano under your tongue
GIRL (11:12:29 PM): this is the weirdest thing ever
ME (11:13:43 PM): what you thought was a beano turned out to be an antidepressent! I"m suddenly very happy!
GIRL (11:14:05 PM): will there be any making out at all?
GIRL (11:15:20 PM): hmmmmm
ME (11:15:34 PM): In a fit of happyness I throw you ontop of me and kiss you wildly
GIRL (11:15:46 PM): SWEET more beano for you
ME (11:16:18 PM): you have OD"d me and I"m currently passed out
GIRL (11:16:31 PM): well I"ll still make out with you
ME (11:17:06 PM): Somehow my tongue is the only thing with life on my body at the moment
GIRL (11:17:11 PM): lol
ME (11:17:55 PM): my eyes roll back into my head, you consider calling the ambulance
GIRL (11:18:29 PM): mmmm but then!
ME (11:19:45 PM): I wake back up from my coma!
GIRL (11:19:57 PM): and get back with the wildness!
ME (11:20:41 PM): I lift up your shirt at scratch your nipples like a cat scratches a scratching pole
GIRL (11:21:00 PM): lol ewww sheesh weirdo
ME (11:21:55 PM): I have sucessfully kneaded my claws on your chest and lower your shirt and move down to unbutton your fly
GIRL (11:22:12 PM): lol
ME (11:22:39 PM): before I can do anything ... FUCK !!! It actually was a King Cobra. I am bitten and die.
GIRL (11:22:48 PM): what the hell
