Girls who broke your heart thread

Awlbiste said:

I still don"t think you should date her on the premise that you hope she"ll be desirable to you at some later date though. I"d have a different opinion if you were more like "Well she"s really cute now but she"s definitely going to be really hot when she finishes losing the weight she"s planning on losing" or something. But it seems like you are incredibly lukewarm on her appearance, besides her face, as of right now.

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This. If it"s a question of "Happy vs Happier" I would say give it a shot but if you really aren"t attracted to her at the weight she"s at the risk probably isn"t worth the possible reward. However if you decide to go for it I think a good way to gauge if she will continue the weight loss is to ascertain how she did it. Is she fad dieting or is she going to the gym, strength training, learning how to cook new meals, etc? Was he weight gain because of something specific (college, medication) or just a shitty lifestyle?

Also, depending on how much weight she has to lose, beware of loose skin.

And yeah, as Kirun said beware the intentions thing.

My profile clearly had pictures of me losing weight every 10-20lbs so people knew I wasn"t bullshitting. Anyone who is seriously trying to date well losing weight should do the same if they expect people to believe them.

2 photos, one that looks skinnier is basically what she looks like now, is not bad, I mean If all her photos looked like that, would not even have even said anything about weight when I contacted her.

Seananigans said:

By far the worst thing about a chick losing weight is the sad boobies effect

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The worst part is "Can I have 1 french fry? I just want 1, I don"t want to order my own"

Kirun said:

You throw the "Hi! Here"s my parents!" factor on top of that? Not worth it, man. I realize there is a lot to be said about personality, but take it from a guy who has nailed his fair share of ugly/fat chicks.. eventually personality just isn"t enough.

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This part, the parent thing is a huge red flag coupled with the chub bro.

Kirun said:

20-40 overweight(hard to judge with the angle and lighting of both pictures).

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Or you could trust me when I threw out those exact numbers in my very first post.

Chaotic said:

It"s been almost a month since the whole thing went down. It"s been really, really shitty.. but she made it easier (harder?) for me by being really cold. Today I resolved to bring all of her things to her house after work. Will be a bad night, but whatever. I"ll let her know like 30 minutes before I do so (she"s been kind of playing games with her things.. long story) but I just need it done.

Just wanted to update that I"ve been hanging out with many women. Its not fulfilling and i"d change everything if I could.. but a promise is a promise. Next time you see me in here , once I figure out how to photoshop some faces out or whatever i"ll have some pics for you guys.

Ps went on a retail therapy spree. Retarded, but it actually works. Now I know why girls buy so much crap.

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Chaotic,

Enjoy the gratuitous fun (I"m sure we will enjoy the pics.). When you"re for real ready to move on, I suggest taking two vacations.

Vacation one: reconnect with your old friends and family. It will help you to figure out what"s really important in life

Vacation two: Go somewhere where the panties fall like dominoez Brazil, Ukraine, Romania, etc. get it out of your system.

I think you"ll have an entirely new perspective and be ready to start fresh when you get back.

Parents on 2nd date should ring a few dozen bells.

Also, pics hard to judge because of angles.

Let"s look at the other side of the spectrum for a change...
If this develops into a relationship and she keeps a normal weight, what will keep you from thinking "Oh god I hope she doesn"t get fat again" all the time?

It will be hard, just saying.

I think the weight thing will come down to two main things.

First, are you looking for a relationship that is going to be long term? If you are then look more at personality/compatibility as that is what will matter in terms of enjoying your time together which is what its all about.

Second, can you never get past it? My GF is overweight but not horribly so and honestly it doesn"t bug me because she was that way when I met her, is slowly losing it (aka no loose skin effect), and is an amazing person so I wouldn"t mind if she never lost any more.

As you get older it should matter less and less how hot she is and more on what you are looking for. If you are looking for a fuck buddy, stay way. If you are looking for more give her a chance and see what happens.

Then again I myself have lost a shitton weight and kept it off for 2 years so I understand the battle.

Antarius said:

Stuff

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My question is, why settle? Sounds to me like you"re having fun, meeting lots of different girls, sowing those royal oats... so why would you quit all that for someone you"re not even physically attracted too?

The fact that she a) asked you out after you called her fat and b) introduced you to her parents on THE SECOND DATE (and that shit might fly when you"re twenty, but by thirty? Nuh-uh) screams of one thing and one thing only: desperation.

You can do better. You will do better. There are plenty of skinny, attractive girls out there with incredible personalities, and if you"re doing as well as you say you"re doing, you"ll land on one eventually. Good luck.

I bet she gives great blow jobs though.

The Ancient said:

I bet she gives great blow jobs though.

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I confirm this stereotype.

Another (link to context).

So; around the same time as I wrote that last message, I met this girl... Noticed her at an event we both attended, and chatted a bit. She was good looking, and cute, and there was "something" there. Was in no rush, and knew I"d meet her again eventually, so I didn"t do very much with it.
We met again some weeks later, and after that she contacted my by email for something trivial.
A few back and forth emails, and it was increasingly obvious that she was flirting. Which was fun.

A couple of weeks ago I invited her out to a party with some friends and colleagues, and we ended up leaving the party together and went to a bar for some drinks. Stayed there until they closed, went back to her place.
Curiously intimidating. With a new woman for the first time in 13 years. But also awesome.

We followed that with dinner and another night together, then I had to leave for a couple of weeks. Came back this weekend, and... this is where I"m starting to wonder.
I"d expected this thing to be... either some light fun for now, or - if it was going to evolve into a relationship - take a bit of time to get there.

So I returned this weekend, and she asked me to come with her to a party with some of her friends. Sure, sounds like fun. Within 5-10 minutes I"ve been introduced as her boyfriend, to quite a few people.

And the thing is, if I had to make a call right now today, I"d break things off. I was hoping to get to know her a bit better first, ease into things a bit, take a day at a time. And maybe, one day, I"d be comfortable starting a relationship with her. But right now I"m not ready for it.

I"ll need to figure this one out.

I"d go with talk to her and explain to her why her calling you boyfriend made you uncomfortable rather than break it off.

Daelos said:

I"ll need to figure this one out.

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I would just take things easy and go with the flow not bringing it up. If you end up liking her enough to date, great, you"re already doing it, if not just ease off. You never made any promises or commitments to her.

Ronaan said:

"Oh god I hope she doesn"t get fat again" all the time?

It will be hard, just saying.

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Do people actually think this?

Granted this is anecdotal, so I may very well be talking out my ass...but in my experience I"m more scared of skinny girls getting fat after a relationship.

People who have lost significant weight have, in many cases, done so by developing good habits that will last them for the rest of their life.

I"d personally be less worried about someone who was fat when they were younger and than lost it and kept it off for awhile. Women who are skinny all their life and then start getting fat in their 30s are far scarier in that regard because they have no experience or habits for losing weight and are more likely to just give up before battling it.

So you"ve had two (it sounds like) dates and she"s introducing you to people as her boyfriend? Seems like a rush.