I'm going as "That one guy on the street full of hippie health nuts who gives out chocolate instead of fucking nutritious snacks and dental floss."
I swear... my neighbors are dicks to kids. There was a kid last year who started on my street. When he got to my house, his bag had three toothbrushes, two contains of dental floss, and some bullshit organic granola snack thing that probably tasted like baked cardboard. I gave the kid the equivalent of two full sized snickers bars.
If you're giving out candy, give the good stuff.