Health Problems

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Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,270
36,872
Waiting to go in for my chemo and I'm trying so hard not to laugh but I'm failing pretty bad. There's just something hilarious about other peoples misery when gigantic zits filled with "hot death" are involved. Yes I have sat down and watch gross zit vids on YouTube. All the while chuckling as I watch them.
 

Eatbeast

Lord Nagafen Raider
63
10
You probably should make an appointment with your doc or go to an urgent care to get that thing properly taken care of. Antibiotics might be indicated.

I work in an urgent care and assist with draining these type of things a few times a week. Abscesses are funny, sometimes they smell just terrible and sometimes they dont. Seems to depend on the location on the body, and the type of bacteria involved. The ones around the anus do tend to be more stinky. The worst one I've ever smelled was on a breastfeeding woman's nipple, that was pretty gross.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
You're just trying to get me in so your colleagues get paid!! It's all a scam!

It's properly drained now. I just did it again... smelled like hot death once again. Not the worst I've ever had, but pretty rough. I got out a "shit load", hopefully that is not in poor taste.

I'm not going in until I'm unable to walk!
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
16,742
7,767
You're just trying to get me in so your colleagues get paid!! It's all a scam!

It's properly drained now. I just did it again... smelled like hot death once again. Not the worst I've ever had, but pretty rough. I got out a "shit load", hopefully that is not in poor taste.

I'm not going in until I'm unable to walk!
You drained it at work? Poor taste.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,270
36,872
Gonna have to amputate a butt cheek. Maybe they could relocate some ass fat from one to the other cheek so you stay balanced.
 

Oldbased

> Than U
28,430
67,400
I have a pain in the ass health problem. I got a boil (I think) on my butt cheek. It feels like my ass is on fire everyday. Hoping it is poppable tomorrow (I can see a whitehead forming today).

This is the worst, I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
How did I miss this gem.
Been dealing with them for about 15 years now.
Started on ass cheeks one summer I was sweating like a mule in a basement doing a remodel. At that point in time I had like 5 going at once. Went to a doctor then a derm got all kinds of ointments, powders, creams and of course antibiotics. 2 years later I got another single one but this time on leg above the knee. Had a test done was a type of mrsa bacteria, was put on Bioxin, Rifampin which turned my urine blood red for a month! then after Bactrim.
Long story short, I still get 1 a year usually mid leg or side. The only way to ever possibly cure it would be get cultures done and extreme tests but it doesn't seem to spread and no one else around me ever has gotten one.

Mine don't stink at least but they do get huge, ping pong ballish size but after probably 30 trips to doctors over 15 years I gave up running to them when one happens.
As for pain, the only thing that helps is when you let it do it's thing then drain it. I apply heat and moisture to help it along and make it into about a 3 day process then I am usually good for a year.

Oh and every time the doctors say the same thing. Come in as soon as you see it, if this gets into your blood stream blah blah.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,270
36,872
I laugh pretty hard at this but I've had an abscess form on my ass a few years back. It wasn't a full on infiltration but for at least a month I had to hop in the tub any time I'd use the bathroom. Keep in mind I have no colon and have had bowel resection surgery. So on a GOOD day I go 4-5 times. Bad days double that easily.
At the time they weren't sure if they got all the nastiness out but thankfully follow ups showed consistent healing. It would have been an absolute nightmare otherwise.

The thing with squeezing shit like this is they can pop in the opposite direction you want them to. If they do pop inward instead of outward...well yeah I hope you enjoy hospital trips.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
How did I miss this gem.
Been dealing with them for about 15 years now.
Started on ass cheeks one summer I was sweating like a mule in a basement doing a remodel. At that point in time I had like 5 going at once. Went to a doctor then a derm got all kinds of ointments, powders, creams and of course antibiotics. 2 years later I got another single one but this time on leg above the knee. Had a test done was a type of mrsa bacteria, was put on Bioxin, Rifampin which turned my urine blood red for a month! then after Bactrim.
Long story short, I still get 1 a year usually mid leg or side. The only way to ever possibly cure it would be get cultures done and extreme tests but it doesn't seem to spread and no one else around me ever has gotten one.

Mine don't stink at least but they do get huge, ping pong ballish size but after probably 30 trips to doctors over 15 years I gave up running to them when one happens.
As for pain, the only thing that helps is when you let it do it's thing then drain it. I apply heat and moisture to help it along and make it into about a 3 day process then I am usually good for a year.

Oh and every time the doctors say the same thing. Come in as soon as you see it, if this gets into your blood stream blah blah.
Man if it was on my buttcheek I would be way happier, the position of it really sucks. I had to drain it again, pure death.
 

Oldbased

> Than U
28,430
67,400
Man if it was on my buttcheek I would be way happier, the position of it really sucks. I had to drain it again, pure death.
Worst one and the only one that was ever visible was my ear lobe.
No man, it CAN get worse trust me. Not only did I have this massive ball on my lobe, I was off balance, could barely walk and had a massive headache.
Every single one has been in a skin pore/hair usually ingrown though.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,803
Worst one and the only one that was ever visible was my ear lobe.
No man, it CAN get worse trust me. Not only did I have this massive ball on my lobe, I was off balance, could barely walk and had a massive headache.
Every single one has been in a skin pore/hair usually ingrown though.
That's where I get mine. At least once a year I get a small cyst in my earlobe that I can't help but fuck with and usually gets inflamed/infected and can swell up the size of a small grape. On three occasions I've had to have a plastic surgeon excise the buggers, but they usually grow back. The surgeon told me that cysts in the earlobe are fairly common. It's definitely testosterone related, as when my levels dropped I stopped getting them.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
You were right bro, I knew it but some people don't.

I drained it about 4 times last night after getting home from work, about once per hour or two. It's definitely shrinking, and when I say "it" I mean what I discovered to actually be a carbuncle of 3 boils together. It just keeps getting better. They're all draining. Most of the bad smell is gone, just getting small amounts of pus and blood out now. I expect by this time next week I'll feel much better.

Slept all the way through last night except once I got up to piss, so I feel good today. My ass still feels like a horse kicked it, especially from squeezing out the shit so badly. Definitely feels worse closer to bedtime, thank you sleep aids.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
Holy fucking shit. Between you and your wife... what in the hell are you two doing to your ass areas? I mean it's funny but really man. Look for something environmental.

And yeah, those big old boils are death waiting to happen. And there is no exaggeration possible for how bad they smell when they drain.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
My wife's problem was slightly unrelated. She worked outside all summer and something with our water/detergent - I have no idea.

For me it was probably at work. I do the nest on the toilet before sitting, but you never know what sickly fuck was on there before you.

On Friday I pulled out "the core". God it felt like I gave birth. It was about the size of half of my pinky finger and it tore the boil open coming out. Now it's all done, I just have a hole that occasionally bleeds so I'm keeping it bandaged and washing it with hydrogen peroxide and anti-bacterial soap a couple times a day. This was a terrifying ordeal.

Next time, to the doctors.
 
6,216
8
If you're in CO or WA buy some CBD-extract compresses. They're excellent for pimples/boils and really anything inflammatory
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
Noodle, don't use the hydrogen peroxide too much. That will actually damage the tissue.