Health Problems

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
If it's not better in a few days I will.. I try to avoid the doctors if I have to. If i develop a fever I'll go, otherwise it just hurts.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,343
14,006
The full whitehead needs to form to ensure maximum puss(typo but I'm leaving it) smell.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,270
36,872
Careful mashing on that thing. If it is anywhere close to penetrating your anal cavity area (for lack of a better term I guess) and it infiltrates you're looking at possibly up to a year recovering from that. Obviously if it's just on your ass cheek you're fine.
 

Joeboo

Molten Core Raider
8,157
140
And it probably goes without saying, but don't get any damn fecal matter in the open wound once you pop it. Keep that thing covered well with a bandage, even splashback from the toilet could be bad news.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
Needle, fire, then poke your butt. I don't get why a full whitehead needs to form?
Couple things on this. First off let me start this out by saying I should have gone to the doctor. Hell.. some would say I still should, but I am a tough guy so I'm not (yet).

Last night I popped 3 doses of Advil PM. Technically I think that's an overdose, but I spent the past 48 hours unable to get even a couple minutes of sleep. It was a burning/searing pain that hurt non-stop no matter what position I was in (sitting/standing/laying down). 48 hours of terrible pain. Bros, at this point you go to the doctor.

Anyways, I woke this morning feeling good. As soon as I moved I felt like my nutsack had ripped open. Actually, it was my new, second nutsack that opened up. I got so much sludge-demon-essence out that I could have filled a cup. The relief was instantaneous, I practically had tears of joy.

The reason I didn't pop it early like you suggested is because they don't recommend this at all. If you do it too early, you open yourself to the risk of even worse infections, and while the boil is still really hard you won't get much out (and will further irritate it). The suggested course of treatment is to apply heat (dry/wet) four times a day so the pus comes to a head and then you can safely remove it. As it could be a staph infection, you need to wear gloves and wash everything immediately after. It's no joke, people can die from this stuff if it pops internally. Plus I have the beetus, so we are even more prone to very serious infections.

Also, what Tred said hit close to home. While it was not right against my butthole, it was close enough to be scared (taint area). Having that rupture internally would have put me out of commission for a very long time.

I know some people here have some serious conditions, so I don't want to harp on this too much - but it fucking sucked. I hope in the next couple of days it really shrinks down, as right now it feels like I'm sitting on a deflated golf ball (it was that big).

The only advice I can give to others is if you get a golf-ball sized boil anywhere (but especially near your ass) go to the doctor. I'm an idiot. I'm glad I am not dead.

Edit: I took some pics of it, but then looking at them and noticed you could see both my ballsack and my asshole in the pics I decided nobody would ever want to see those so I deleted it from my phone. You will never see it.
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
Anything that looks abnormal to you on your body should be taken care of by a provider -- no question. I hope you followed joeboo's instructions on at least covering it up with a bandage to prevent a potential infection from your stool.

In regards to the Advil: It's not nearly as bad as Tylenol. I'm sure 3 doses is fine (though, I don't know your LFTs), just don't do it with Tylenol.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
Not sure what LFT is, but I lived so I assume it was fine.

I covered it up, almost begrudgingly. I kinda wish I shaved in between my ass cheeks and also my taint.
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
16,742
7,767
Just curious, how do you manage that? I'm paranoid about going near that region with a razor.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
If there's an easy solution, I haven't heard of it. I wish I had though, bandage removal later is going to suck.
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
Use Nair. That's what I use and it works wonderfully. Make sure to use the one with Aloe and keep it on for about 10 minutes. Baby soft smooth, baby.

LFT = Liver function tests.
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
What? Impossible, lol. Did you use a washcloth to wipe it away? I'm pretty fucking hairy with extremely coarse hair. How did it not get all of yours off?
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
16,742
7,767
I don't know how the chemical works, but it seems to weaken the follicles. A lot of them broke above the skin instead of being pulled out completely.

Post 4000 about butt hair removal, oddly appropriate.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,270
36,872
Hey noodle how bad was the smell? Lol
I've never had to pop anything like that but you hear people say the smell is almost always vomit inducing. I've always wonder I'd those people are gigantic pussies or if they really do have the smell of cabbage and elderly person emenating from their puss volcano.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,803
Tried that, didn't remove all the hair. Waited 4 days, applied again, got a bad reaction.
Just get one of those manscaper trimmers designed for your private parts (I have the bodygroomer) and shove it into your ass crack. Works like a charm with no irritation. Nair is fine if you want to look like an extra from Magic Mike, but if all you're looking for is a way to keep the poop highway free from butthair roadblocks, the manscaper is the way to go.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,276
15,107
I've had one before that actually was much smaller and smelled way worse, coincidentally from sitting funny at a Nascar race (Free tickets).

The smell can only be described as pure death. It's got the smell of rotting food, mixed with shit, mixed with old people, mixed with everything you can ever imagine to be terrible. I have the strongest stomach for things (visually and smell-illy (?)), so it isn't vomit-inducing for me but I can see where it would be for others. It's not an isolated smell either, that shit will fill the room.

The one I had on my leg before had so much pressure in it that the stuff shot out like a hose and actually stained a wall at my in-law's house.

This one wasn't nearly as bad, but it was the morning and my nasal passages weren't thoroughly clear. I'll report back tonight after part 2 as I'm starting to feel a bit sore again.

Told my wife it feels like a horse kicked in my right ass cheek.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,803
I've had one before that actually was much smaller and smelled way worse, coincidentally from sitting funny at a Nascar race (Free tickets).

The smell can only be described as pure death. It's got the smell of rotting food, mixed with shit, mixed with old people, mixed with everything you can ever imagine to be terrible. I have the strongest stomach for things (visually and smell-illy (?)), so it isn't vomit-inducing for me but I can see where it would be for others. It's not an isolated smell either, that shit will fill the room.

The one I had on my leg before had so much pressure in it that the stuff shot out like a hose and actually stained a wall at my in-law's house.

This one wasn't nearly as bad, but it was the morning and my nasal passages weren't thoroughly clear. I'll report back tonight after part 2 as I'm starting to feel a bit sore again.

Told my wife it feels like a horse kicked in my right ass cheek.
Dude, stop. Please. I'm going to barf. It sounds like you have an infected cyst/boil. Get that thing drained at the doctor or something.