Been having a lot of stomach problems. Went to the doctor, did some tests. I came back anemic. Doctor suggested maybe I'm allergic to gluten. So I don't eat bread for awhile. I don't feel worse but I also don't feel better. I don't have as many stomach problems but it's mainly because I just stop eating. I've lost 95lbs in 6 months. Doctor is not happy with this. I get a endoscopy and colonoscopy yesterday.
Endoscopy looks fine, nothing wrong. Colonoscopy not so good, apparently I have a mass so large in my guts that the camera can't get past. I'm scared out of my fucking mind and I get all weekend to dwell on it. Doctor is doing a biopsy on it and is scheduling a CT scan. Like holy fuck I'm 33, no one in my family has had cancer that I know of. Granted most of my family checks out around the age of 60 due to heart problems or they get shot. So i'm here on RR trying not to flip the fuck out because when I try to talk to my girlfriend about it all I get is "stay positive." Seriously what kind of bullshit advice is that? Stay positive, what the fuck is that going to accomplish? I should smile while they core me out like a fucking apple?
Sorry I'm rambling but I'm freaking out. There is literally no one in my life that has had to deal with this so I come to Rerolled to cry like a bitch. Wow, that sounds even more depressing when its typed out.