Help a Brother out.

Titan_Atlas

Titan_Atlas

Deus Vult
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Hoping for some help from you all with a project I've been working on. I have been developing a TV pilot for a while now. Unfortunately I do not live in Los Angeles and it is incredibly hard to get into the industry from outside. I am a single father in Seattle and have been exhausting avenues to get noticed.

I have so far sent queries to all major literary management agencies throughout Hollywood. Listed on The Black List, a script hosting forum visited by industry professionals. Entered the Script Pipeline competition for this year. Created a fairly basic webpage and a Facebook page, trying to get friends and family to share and like.

What I'm hoping is maybe someone in this community is in the industry or knows someone who is and maybe I can get this seen. So I am going to post the link to the webpage as that has all the info in the easiest format. Feel free to have a look and if you can think of a way to help me out with this project I welcome all constructive feedback.

trustshow
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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There's a distinct lack of tits in this thread.

Good luck, though!
 
bixxby

bixxby

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When Tyler Marcus the son of a wealthy hotelier seeks to build his empire in the marijuana business; he finds an industry in transition, with a family name he must protect above all.
 
spronk

spronk

FPS noob
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odds are stacked against you, in hollywood roughly 8000 shows are pitched a year out of that around 400 are green lit for pilots out of less than 80 make it to air.

also your idea is pretty bad, no offense, sounds like Shitty Rich White People Having Stupid Problems show. But hey, if you wanna succeed in the business gotta develop a thick skin. Frankly your tag line made me laugh.

actually if you wanna have a better shot change your show into a comedy

your best shot is moving to hollywood, doing any sort of job, making connections, attending acting/script writing/etc classes, and hoping for a lucky break. your show still sucks though, I can't imagine anyone not laughing and walking away when you pitch that first line.
 
bixxby

bixxby

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You should give Mark a zany alien sidekick played by Dane Cook or a Dane Cook analogue
 
Tuco

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
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bixxby_sl said:
When Tyler Marcus the son of a wealthy hotelier seeks to build his empire in the marijuana business; he finds an industry in transition, with a family name he must protect above all.
Click to expand...
In the dark of night green commerce runs across a border farm. A waiting truck continues the journey to an unorthodox kingpin.

Tyler Marcus, son, heir, entrepreneur enters breakfast to the nagging of a disappointed father. His constant ally and protector Barbara Marcus works to diffuse the familiar paternal tensions. Tyler uses his line of retreat to go upstairs and prepare for school.

Once he arrives at the university he must navigate a hoping professor, a loving girlfriend, and the potential problems brought on by saying no to a drug deal. Money begets problems and Tyler moves through his day a firefighter on constant alert.

Not all fires extinguish quickly or easily. A confrontation in his own nightclub goes awry. Amid the destruction of a huge altercation he and his allies slide into a waiting limousine. Anger and resolution lead to a decision, the first move towards legitimization.

A calm morning with his love and a short respite from the chaos of his double life. Followed by an act of kindness towards a man who's lifetime of sweat for the Marcus family is not forgotten by Tyler. Tyler then must confront his patriarch, while supporting his brother in his moment of triumph.

At the celebration of his brothers victory, Tyler has more pressing needs. He must move quickly to diffuse the problems the fight has caused. Turning to a ruthless ally has he only taken on more duty, to a less forgiving master. Only time will tell.
Click to expand...
No offense, Titan, but this is really bad writing. It sounds like a second year ESL student wrote this as part of a weekly assignment and got a C on it.
 
M

mixtilplix

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spronk_sl said:
odds are stacked against you, in hollywood roughly 8000 shows are pitched a year out of that around 400 are green lit for pilots out of less than 80 make it to air.
Click to expand...
spronk_sl said:
your best shot is moving to hollywood, doing any sort of job, making connections, attending acting/script writing/etc classes, and hoping for a lucky break. your show still sucks though, I can't imagine anyone not laughing and walking away when you pitch that first line.
Click to expand...
Basically these two things. I had a client who was a producer/writer for tv/cable. He did some crazy shit to get his scripts read by one producer who took a liking to one of his scripts. It's the kind of shit you would not get away with today at all.

If you want to make it then you need to move to LA and be prepared to brown nose your way. And even after you make it, which you probably won't, you will have to keep on ass kissing to execs to get your shit produced.
 
DickTrickle

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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Should not be encouraging this guy, for his own good.

OP, have you had anyone read the script and give honest feedback that wasn't a family member or friend?
 
TheBeagle

TheBeagle

JunkiesNetwork Donor
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Jesus, stop starting so many sentences with prepositions first of all. Secondly your logline reads like a word salad written by someone that is trying too hard to use 50 cent words in order to impress someone. It has no flow at all.
 
Kuro

Kuro

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Coming to the internets for help with this is not wise. You would do better to look for a Writer's Workshop/Group of some sort in your city/nearby and getting feedback there. That said, if you are actually trying to use the website as one of your avenues to reach interested parties, it is important to make sure your writing is clear, correct, and concise. Much like a resume, the people looking for a book/script/short story pitch get so many a day/week/year that they aren't actually looking for positive qualities, they're looking for negative qualities that let them bin the proposition without dedicating much time to it.
 
Kuriin

Kuriin

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I will, as a very famous, but secretive producer, read your script only on one condition: Eat me out.
 
spronk

spronk

FPS noob
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do you shave your butthole? what about anal bleaching?

and i assume in the gay world eat me means salad tossing, or does it mean bj
 
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