is it safe to watch porn on my work computer?

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Chanur

Chanur

Shit Posting Professional
<Gold Donor>
28,896
46,560
Izo_sl said:
Argumentum ad populum. Just because some people here are paranoid doesn't mean keg shouldn't snort one more line and jack it to the Megan Fox of Ohio. And whom are you to say what a work computer should be used for? Bashing the bishop can be a lot of work for coke snorters and SSRI poppers alike. A happy worker is a productive worker. I say go ahead, Keg, work on that job satisfaction.
Click to expand...
You know who will tell you what your work computer is for? Work you mongoloid. I guarantee if they gave him a laptop he had to sign some kind of IT policy and it definitely includes porn and likely anything non work related .
 
Chukzombi

Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
73,108
214,398
if he is given that computer to do work with, even though he gets to use it when he isnt working, i can assume he has a little leeway on what he can do with it. porn sites are chock full of malware and viruses so if his work pc takes a shit or worst case scenario sensitive work infos is being compromised, thats a problem. i dont think they care that he is using the work puter to yank his crank on his offtime as long as its not fucking with the system in any way. but still, half decent laptops are about 200-300 bucks these days. you can watch a lot of porn with a hundred dollar smartphone for petes sake. just keep the work pc for work and you should be golden.
 
Tuco

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,817
82,241
Hateyou_sl said:
It's safe you dumbasses. Did you miss the part where he said he is travelling? How the fuck would they see it if he's not plugged in at his job?

Tug away Keg...tug away.
Click to expand...
A lot of ways, depends on what software is running on his laptop.
 
Warrian

Warrian

╰⋃╯ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
141
29
It doesn't mean jack shit if you don't see any processes that would identify as a "big brother"; those can easily be hidden and rightfully so. Many companies also use proxy clients (ie bluecoat) that will operate even while not connected to the corporate network, either it being there onsite or via VPN. Whoever called people dumbasses for thinking he's safe just because he's not plugged in at work is in fact a dumbass himself. He either wants you to get caught or has no idea what the fuck he's talking about. Just jerk off to pictures of Ravvenn and call it a day.
 
Hex

Hex

Lord Nagafen Raider
404
389
kegkilla_sl said:
please tell us more about this magic software that hides system processes.
Click to expand...
It's not really that difficult. If it starts as a process that is outside of your user space and you're not an admin on the machine it is by default hidden from your task manager. There's a button that'll allow you to see them but if your systems admin locks that down to admin privileged users only then you can't see exactly what is running beyond what YOU have running.

They could also be operating using a cloud based proxy that uses a PAC file which is configured in the browser, this method requires zero processes to be running. If you're not allowed to fuck around with your proxy settings in IE you'd never have any idea that it was there either.

Really it's a risk you'll have to decide to take if you want to, without knowing how your office's system admins/security people have configured the machine there's only speculation that can be made on what they might do to monitor your browsing habits. The systems I support all put a popup when you CTRL ALT DEL to login that has a legal disclaimer saying that your expectation of privacy while using this system is zero because we're monitoring it.

tl;dr there's tons of off-network and stealthy content filtering solutions that could be in play to say for sure.
 
Hateyou

Hateyou

Not Great, Not Terrible
<Bronze Donator>
16,926
44,403
Tuco_sl said:
A lot of ways, depends on what software is running on his laptop.
Click to expand...
Come on bro
frown.png
 
khalid

khalid

Unelected Mod
14,071
6,775
I just don't get why businesses would give a fuck, outside of moral prudishness. If you are doing your job, what is the problem?
 
Ridas

Ridas

Pay to play forum
2,888
4,143
Malware I guess or at least I hope. A man should be able to use any and all kinds of options to watch porn. Masturbation is important!

rrr_img_72597.jpg
 
E

error_sl

shitlord
41
0
Hex_sl said:
They could also be operating using a cloud based proxy that uses a PAC file which is configured in the browser, this method requires zero processes to be running. If you're not allowed to fuck around with your proxy settings in IE you'd never have any idea that it was there either.
Click to expand...
Except you won't be able to view the content, unless they're just logging the fact that you're doing it. Usually a proxy like bluecoat or websense generally blocks the offending material, let's you know it did and logs in for auditing. Also, you're not allowed to fuck with you proxy settings... so that should be a hint.

As for administrative tasks, you'll know because you won't be able to access "show all processes" option, among other things and at that point it's pretty suspect that there's other agents running that your administrator doesn't want you to see or fuck with which are doing who knows what, up to keylogging.

Like it has been said before, VM, bootable OS, or separate machine is your anti-work STD (i.e. fired) condom.

edit: another neg for posting help in a thread (see previous post)? come at me bros, moar.
 
K

Kinner

Clear eyes. Full Hearts. Can't lose.
276
114
If your company is OCD about monitoring then they will be logging this stuff. We used a tool which could monitor everything you did, offline, online, how long you sat idle, keystrokes, screenshots, how long you worked on a specific spreadsheet, etc. If they are that crazy about stuff, then you will be caught and fired, which we did on numerous occasions. Stupid college grads thought they could and would get away with things.

Spector 360 | Employee Monitoring | User Activity Recording Software


Use your phone, a boot disk with another OS, or another device of any type.
 
Izo

Izo

Tranny Chaser
19,574
23,791
Chanur_sl said:
You know who will tell you what your work computer is for? Work you mongoloid. I guarantee if they gave him a laptop he had to sign some kind of IT policy and it definitely includes porn and likely anything non work related .
Click to expand...
I bet you're a very frustrated, unproductive worker.
 
Gorestabb

Gorestabb

Bronze Knight of the Realm
376
66
Depending on which web filter your company uses, you could be ok. If they're using a client side agent (GFI Remote Management for instance) then it doesn't matter whether you're in the office or not, your activity will be logged. The real danger comes from getting malware from dodgy porn sites. If one of the staff I support gets malware on their machine I get emailed a notification of the time, type, and origin of that malware.

Like others have said it's a lot safer to just use your own equipment.
 
Angelwatch

Angelwatch

Trakanon Raider
3,053
133
You sound like you've made up your mind that you're going to do it anyway, but I agree with the majority and I say don't. It'd be a really stupid way to get let go. Like others have said, get a cheap laptop or a tablet and use that instead. But using company property to watch porn is stupid. I know you want to make the case of "it's not on company time or property," but, again, why take the chance that it will come back to bite you?

Personally I'm not going to take any chances. I won't watch porn at work. Period. At my last job, there were quite a few people who were let go for porn on their computers or pics sent through the internal mail system (Really? How dumb can you get?). I wasn't ever stupid enough to do shit like that though. While it may vary from company to company, the monitoring programs are a lot more sophisticated these days and it's really just a dumb risk to take.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
<Silver Donator>
14,726
2,616
At my old company like 2 people a year got fired for porn on work computers. It was really the only thing that you would 100% get fired for yet people still did it. So dumb. Even if your company isn't strict on it, they can still use it as an excuse to fire you if you piss the wrong person off. It's just not worth it. Don't be dumb. If you have the kind of job where you have a work laptop and travel for work then you can easily afford to drop a couple hundred bucks on a tablet or chromebook and wank worry free to your heart's content.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.