Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

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spronk

spronk

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wonderguy101 said:
Sir, I would never walk into the theater to see Transformers 5, so I could never walk out of it!

Great review! Question: did you roll your eyes at the "spinning gondola, falls down and skis down the mountain, and then stops in the knick of time by a random parachute" action sequence?
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well, at first i was all like "a parachute stopping a 5 ton gondola? thats crazy!" but then i remembered I was watching a movie where an umbrella stops bullets, a lasso cuts people in half, guys can do headshots upside down while flying around the air, and people's heads blow up into confetti and realized maybe this isn't a movie that conforms to Newton's Principia Mathematica.

there were a few trump digs but then remember in the first movie Obama goes along with SLJ's plans and is actively involved in killing billions of people, which isn't really addressed in this movie - all governments were involved in murdering their citizens and all of them died in the first movie, but there seems to be no fallout in this movie from that.

The K1 church scene was just awesome from a stylistic standpoint, its done without a lot of quick takes and its a LOT of ultra violence in just a few minutes. I don't think there was anything that good in K2, although they tried.

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Koushirou

Koushirou

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Movie was enjoyable and had it's good moments. The plot was really lacking, though, and a lot of shit just didn't make much sense/was a bit of a cop out. Channing Tatum and Jeff Bridges were pretty much wasted as characters. I wish they'd given us more of the Statesman side of things. There's a couple of scenes I think they could have done without/were just a bit too over the top for me, even knowing the style of the films.

The actions scenes I thought were good, though the beginning chase one just looked...off. The music was on point, though. Pedro Pascal was awesome. Absolutely a fun movie, but they just could have done so much better with what they had.
 
Xevy

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Wonderguy is a troll or really dumb. Or both. Halle looked gooooood and Channing Tatum is in 5% of this movie. Literally. And his performance was not as good as some of his others.

Movie was alright, 7/10. Not as good as the first. Elton John was great.

The best part was the Halo Top ice cream commercial they showed before it though. My god.
 
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Aychamo BanBan

Aychamo BanBan

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Xevy said:
Wonderguy is a troll or really dumb. Or both. Halle looked gooooood and Channing Tatum is in 5% of this movie. Literally. And his performance was not as good as some of his others.

Movie was alright, 7/10. Not as good as the first. Elton John was great.

The best part was the Halo Top ice cream commercial they showed before it though. My god.
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Someone has a different opinion than me! I have to insult them! :)

Elton John was funny. The first F bomb he dropped got big laughs in the theater.
 
spronk

spronk

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Elton John was in the movie WAY too much, the writer loves him too much or something. First cameo was funny, shoulda ended there.

A lot of the problems in this movie may be explained by the rumor that there is a 4 hour cut of it and it was maybe going to be split into 2 movies, ala Kill Bill



 
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Warr

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Chanur said:
With out spoiling anything is Roxy in this?
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Yes.

Thought it was good. There's 3-4 good fight sequences in the same editing style of the first one and the music they picked fits the scenes real well (ala Baby Driver). The plot felt a little ridiculous and over-the-top, but that's par for the course from this franchise. I didn't mind them retconning to bring dead characters back either. If I had one complaint, it's that it feels like there's one too many subplots going on. The history between Eggsy and the #2 bad guy, Eggsy's love life, Harry's recovery from his head wound, and the various Statesmen subplots. I think they could have just done away with the whole Harry recovery angle, because you already know from the trailers that he makes a full comeback and kicks ass.


Prediction for the next movie:
We get Channing Tatum + Colin Firth in Kingsman 3, using the buddy cop formula with Colin teaching Channing how to be a gentleman. Taron Egerton is busy being a prince but takes a break from Swedish princess buttsex to help save the day at the end.
 
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Amzin

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spronk said:
Elton John was in the movie WAY too much, the writer loves him too much or something. First cameo was funny, shoulda ended there.

A lot of the problems in this movie may be explained by the rumor that there is a 4 hour cut of it and it was maybe going to be split into 2 movies, ala Kill Bill



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That would fix some of the problems I had with it but not the big negatives that distract me from enjoying it as much as I could have. Gonna spoilers them here now that I've sat and thought about it another day:

  • Roxy, JB, etc. all dying basically off screen with little lead up and not nearly enough screen time (especially for Roxy). Completely removing the Kingsman group just seems unneeded, they could have settled for wiping out the big headquarters and the networks and whatnot but said more people survived. It just had no impact at all because it was so... pointless, and no real confirmation one way or the other. Merlin and Eggsy just show up and Merlin says "well they're all dead let's go". You could still have some interesting side characters and Kingsman stuff existing and require the apocalypse plan or whatever Merlin called it.
  • Merlin's death was incredibly stupid in the context of the Kingsman world. There were a million ways out of the landmine situation just using tech we've already seen, and even without tech he could have swapped out his weight for the guy he lured and knocked out as well. If they wanted him dead they should have had him die in the big brawl later on.
  • Poppy wasn't done very well in my opinion. The meat grinder thing was totally random and doesn't tie into anything else in her character, we get very little info on her at all, she ends up having legitimate points about drug trade and success et all but I think the writing was just bad for her, because it's hard to blame the actress :p Since she ends up getting played by a clearly intended to be idiotic president and then easily "outwitted" we'll say by 2 Kingsman dudes she really ends up being a hollow character. The villain in the first one was going to win, was in fact in the process of winning and probably killed hundreds of thousands of commoners, and only got stopped by last ditch effort of the Kingsman. Even if the Kingsman did nothing, Poppy still loses, just like 20% of the world's population dies. It would have been more interesting if they'd confronted her with the president's duplicity maybe, and had something come of that.
  • The whole poison drugs / antidote thing is nearly as bad as GoT Season 7 timing issues. There needed to be some crux that sets off the poison so people aren't dying weeks ahead of other people. The drone distribution is absurd but... eh. Less of a problem than the poison thing
  • Elton John was kinda amusing but overused
  • Statesman were way underused and the one guy we see a lot and is a clear badass, Whiskey, ends up being a traitor, which makes it feel all the worse, because it looks like they're awesome and have an insane amount of resources compared to the already pretty resourceful Kingsman.
  • The Harry memory plot was not a terrible idea to explain his absence but it went on too long (although the solving it was clever and actually well done I thought)
  • The spinning gondola was kind of shark-jumpy but maybe it was another "meat grinder" situation I guess? It was dumb though and not fun even discounting the dumb
  • The "field hospitals" were preposterous and a completely unnecessary exaggeration of dickishness.
  • As some mentioned, the action scene right at the beginning of the movie just felt off. It was a lot of action but wasn't very good, compared to the other scenes.
  • The whole meeting of the Statesmen via the barrel room into interrogation etc. was overdone. Well, mostly the interrogation.

For my favorite action, probably the fight with the snow goons was it. I think it was better than the last big fight. Bar fight was good too and that scene was kinda funny with the disparate tones. I also actually didn't mind Eggsy's romance but the whole drama with the other girl was a waste.
 
Amzin

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There's a pretty good chance, especially if you care about traveling, you're better off becoming a citizen of an EU country rather than staying with England. Also politics etc. but there's plenty of practical reasons to jump ship, there is no way England benefits from that whole thing and anyone with half a brain knows it.
 
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Palum

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Amzin said:
There's a pretty good chance, especially if you care about traveling, you're better off becoming a citizen of an EU country rather than staying with England. Also politics etc. but there's plenty of practical reasons to jump ship, there is no way England benefits from that whole thing and anyone with half a brain knows it.
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Not with the wet noddle May in charge anyway
 
Mahes

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Palum said:
Kek

British star Colin Firth becomes Italian citizen following Brexit decision
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He got Dual citizenship. His wife did the same thing by also becoming a British citizen. If he had given up his British citizenship, then that might have been a story. I do not blame him one bit and think it to be a great decision.

The movie was almost worth not seeing.

I feel this movie series is jumping the shark in the same way that the Fast and Furious series has done. I was kind of bummed that Roxy played almost no part, as I enjoyed the original chemistry between the main character and her. The director I think has a very real thing for a particular singer. That cameo was played way to much. I wish they would have done some origin story with the Statesmen of the South(Because the North part of the US does not matter) that could have shown more history. It might have also helped if just a few more of them had been involved because the world needed saving. I guess all of the other Statesmen were busy tending to the cotton fields. The one Statesmen that I wanted to see kick ass was put into a coma. That was two key characters that I wanted to actually see help save the world not help save the world. What the Fuck? Its like having Black Widow and Thor being replaced with Iron Fist and Jessica Jones in the Avengers. Yes they can fight, but its not who I was hoping to see.

5/10. The original was better for being what it was. This movie took that formula and removed the equation.
 
Chris

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Big Phoenix

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Decent, not as good as the first but enjoyable. Thought the Elton John cameo went a little over the top. If they didn't make him flying kick the goons it would have worked better.

Also princess tilde must be starving herself.
 
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Z

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Chris said:
It puzzles me because as a multimillionaire actor, he must have worked in Hollywood at some point or shot on location in South America, Asia or Africa and have a guy who sorts out work visas. I guess most of his filsm are set in the UK or US but wikipedia says he likes to meddle with African tribespeople and refugees.

It's either virtue signalling or for his kids.
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Having a visa for a film shoot or a charity event isnt the same as having a citizen's right to live, to work, buy property, etc... in Italy (and through Italy in all countries of the Schengen Agreement, which the UK isnt fully part of and will likely distance itself further from).

He likely already has houses in Italy, if his wife is from Italy, may want to live there part of the year without applying for a 6 week visa every time, might want to retire in a sunny mediterranean country instead of rainy Britain, etc...
 
spronk

spronk

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I'm disappointed no one did the real detective work and posted pics of his wife
xzNWF8v.jpg



Not bad, but I think he could do better, and an Italian passport will definitely be better in case his wife catches him with his second mistress. He can yell out MAMA MIA, THATSA SPICY MEATBALL while waving his hands and if anyone says thats offensive he can pull out his italian passport and lecture the person on not assuming racial privilege
 
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Chris

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Zweischneid said:
Having a visa for a film shoot or a charity event isnt the same as having a citizen's right to live, to work, buy property, etc... in Italy (and through Italy in all countries of the Schengen Agreement, which the UK isnt fully part of and will likely distance itself further from).

He likely already has houses in Italy, if his wife is from Italy, may want to live there part of the year without applying for a 6 week visa every time, might want to retire in a sunny mediterranean country instead of rainy Britain, etc...
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If the UK isn't good enough he can fuck off!
 
Z

Zweischneid

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Chris said:
If the UK isn't good enough he can fuck off!
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Why not have more than one if you can?

Stupid bureaucracy about passports and countries is super 19th century anyways. Wouldn't get emotional about arbitrary lines drawn on a map for governments to swindle people out of money by claiming they belong to this or that colourful piece of cloth flapping in the wind.
 
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