Noodleface,
You will pretty much suck for the next few hundred games. If you're playing with strangers, just turn all chat formats off -- the odds of your team actually raising your morale or saying something informative is minimal. If you're playing with friends, then just get used to being the dead weight on the team that your team needs to plan for and play around. After you get about 20-30 games in by yourself, the matchmaker will have figured out you're a true newb and you'll start to get placed with other true newbs. This will raise your morale and make you think you're starting to finally get the hang of things... until you play with friends again and get wafflestomped, again.
I'm not trying to be discouraging; but having the proper mindset is really important for learning how to play a game this complex. A new-to-the-genre player is, very likely, going to get absolutely wrecked for months during the learning phase.