Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane_sl said:

People never change Cad. Your opinions and desires at 18 will be your opinions and desires at 78.

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This is patently false, as the whole pro Trump tilt away from liberals of this community amply demonstrates. But brain washed bullshit pounded into people's minds tends to stick with them long after the point of reason. Whatever one's opinion on polyamorism (not for me, but I don't care what others do), what you are raised with is likely to stick with you, if its based in religious dogma. Some of this also involves people's ability to compartmentalize sexual gratification and intimacy/love. I think a fair number of the people who are tag teaming a_skeleton_03 are people who are either so jaded by past failed relationships or simply not into the commitment involved that they are ignoring the position and engaging in ad hominem attacks on him. Picking apart a hypocritical coward is fun, so I get that.

But.....
The only poly relationships or open marriage situations I have seen work long term generally involve people who have more or less seen and done it all. They have been through enough real life shit that they can sift through the bullshit and recognize certain feelings and emotions for what they are, without their heart or their hormones over-riding their brain. There are not a lot of people who are mature enough to even sustain their relationship (let alone marriage) when there is equal give and take. The Master, when he posted here, was the only guy in our own community who even had claim to sustaining it for any length of time around here. And even he stated that adding a third person creates unforeseen complications to any relationship. I feel that holds true even if sex is not involved.

Lindz and Mr. Cuckz are the only people each other have even been in a relationship in their entire life. By their own admission, they are sexually repressed and have had zero partners outside of one another. They are also entering into an asymmetrical sharing situation where one party either had to be encouraged to do it over time or simply became bored enough to entertain the idea. And she is going to go rail a dude that she has a pre-existing social relationship with and is basically flirting with him as if he were someone she was trying to get with while single. Past history has included depression and periods of major boredom with their sex life. Lindz has also exhibited all of the classic bored housewife/recovering catholic girl traits over the years. This is not two experienced people tackling a very tricky change in their relationship dynamic. There are a LOT of red flags that would wreck a marriage in perfect condition with swinging experience under its belt. I think a_skeleton_03 is right, but for different reasons than what he is getting tripped up on.

I mean, if the goal here was for her just to go out and get drilled by a dude and then go back to her hubby and tell him all the details so he could rub one out afterwards, any random dude would have sufficed. There are certainly enough interested anonymous parties on this board. Instead, they picked a guy with whom Lindz already has an established personal relationship, that she is not next leveling like they were online dating for a hookup, and that she is likely to have further dealings with after she gets taken to pound town by the dude. Really no one sees an issue with any of this?

I hope for the sake of their kids, if nothing else, that it works out as planned. But my gut feeling is that this other dude (who essentially has as much if not more communication access to her, since they "co-run" a guild) will put in for an unscheduled booty call at some point or maybe Lindz just decides to stay over and cuddle after a bang, either one not having been cleared with Mr Cuckz. He will freak the fuck out and Lindz will retaliate with the (rather reasonable) argument that he pushed her into this in the first place. Then the shit hits the fan.

I hope that's not the case, but.....