Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Onoes · Jul 1, 2016

Namon_sl said:
22 grand for family insurance... I'm assuming your employer doesn't pay anything then? I thought mine was bad at 14 grand (luckily, in my situation, the wife works somewhere that pays more than half so it's much less with hers).

It's a weird set up, it basically goes like this-

For the employee - 100% free. I pay nothing except whatever percentage the insurance doesn't cover on bills, seems to usually be about 10%, only used it a couple of times.
For Family- comes out to $22k a year
If two people both work for us and are married, one gets their insurance free, and the other can get family coverage for $1742 ($33.50 per paycheck)

So, if your single and kid-less its a great deal, or if you are married with kids its a great deal.

My SO is currently working for the same tribe, so technically I could marry her and switch plans. Sort of goes against my whole "Never getting married again" thing though.....

mkopec · Jul 1, 2016

Khane_sl said:
The money was definitely coming through illegal, unclaimed ways. And then they did what Onoes and his wife are doing to get government assistance on top of it.

There was definitely some of this going on as well. She told me about this one dude, probably a banger, had like 3 cell phones and more gold than an Aztec. But still had shitty teeth.

Khane · Jul 1, 2016

Onoes_sl said:
It's a weird set up, it basically goes like this-

For the employee - 100% free. I pay nothing except whatever percentage the insurance doesn't cover on bills, seems to usually be about 10%, only used it a couple of times.
For Family- comes out to $22k a year
If two people both work for us and are married, one gets their insurance free, and the other can get family coverage for $1742 ($33.50 per paycheck)

So, if your single and kid-less its a great deal, or if you are married with kids its a great deal.

My SO is currently working for the same tribe, so technically I could marry her and switch plans. Sort of goes against my whole "Never getting married again" thing though.....

Have you even checked the ACA website for insurance? A gold level family plan would probably cost you ~500/mo on your income. Do you even consider alternatives on anything in life?

You talk about how you just want to be a happy go lucky guy and never want to be a cynic like us. Your kids love you because you are just a big kid yourself. Maybe it's time to be an adult.

Every story you've told us here makes you sound like a 13 year old in a man's body. That may be harsh but... damn dude. Get your shit together.

Onoes · Jul 1, 2016

Twilight Sparkle_sl said:
Claims like this are always either wildly exaggerated, or those brand new escalades and iphones are coming from drug money, not legitimate income that was saved by exploiting social programs. It's easy to exploit them in petty ways, it simply isn't possible to exploit them to the tune of a 70k+ SUV.

I don't think they are always wildly exaggerated. I know a husband and wife, here is what they are doing. He is ex military (although not one of the two guys from an earlier example) who is on disability because he says he has such bad vertigo and motion sickness. Basically, he claims he can't drive or even be active in any way. He plays Mech Warrior online most of the time, and then he works for a local mortuary under the table. They pay him $25 per body he picks up (they call him when they have a pick up, he drives to their building and picks up their van, goes and gets the body, puts it in the freezer, and goes home), which can sometimes only be 10 in a month, but he's had months where there were 50. His wife now works at Safeway, although she has a set 33 hours or something she can week, because if she goes over that they would lose all their gov assistance. She used to work at Crackle Barrel, but had to quit because she was consistently making too much money.

They have health care, food stamps, and even child care assistance (basically free daycare, even though the dad is home almost always).

And yeah, I've definitely been annoyed seeing them pull up in a brand new car, and we got in a huge fight onetime because I called the husband out on going to the hospital for someone in their family pretty much weekly. Someone not feeling well? Emergency room. Fell down and hip hurts? Emergency room. Etc. He just laughed and said "Why wouldn't I, its free? I show up in the ER and they ask me why I didn't go to fast trax when its a minor thing, and I just tell them because I didn't want to wait and its free. I would go to the ER if I needed a band aid, what do I care?" and he ended up pissing off the everyone, even I was pretty much fuming (This was at a kids birthday party).

I know another girl who works at a hair salon, front desk person, gets paid half her salary under the table in the form of a weekly cash bonus. She is also on support, and she's super big into a car club. Her car is probably worth 50k+ at this point, all she does is dump her money into it. On all kinds of assist.

I really have to wonder if I know more people on assistance than off it. My constant positivity is probably just a coping mechanism I've developed over a lifetime of living here, lol.

lurkingdirk · Jul 1, 2016

He sounds like a really nice guy.

Onoes · Jul 1, 2016

Khane_sl said:
Have you even checked the ACA website for insurance? A gold level family plan would probably cost you ~500/mo on your income. Do you even consider alternatives on anything in life?

You talk about how you just want to be a happy go lucky guy and never want to be a cynic like us. Your kids love you because you are just a big kid yourself. Maybe it's time to be an adult.

Every story you've told us here makes you sound like a 13 year old in a man's body. That may be harsh but... damn dude. Get your shit together.

I remember checking right after the divorce and going "Jesus, that's still way too high", but no clue on what the actual figure was.

As for the rest, there is a lot of grow up, man up, get your shit together. I really don't see the need. I look around at other people and think "Wow, their life looks miserable". I am sitting here racking my brain for anyone who's life I would rather have, and can't think of a single person. Even the very wealthy people I know, I would love to have their money, but sure as shit glad I'm not them.

So yeah, as far as "should I talk to a lawyer and get my divorce paperwork redone to cover my ass?" yeah, we are all agreed. I'm still of the opinion that it hasn't really bitten me on the ass the way I did it in the first place, but I'm also emotionally distanced enough that I can see how it could, so I'm fine taking steps to prevent that. As for working to change my life or outlook entirely, no, I'm not interested in that at all. I like that my problems are "Am I spending too much on board games?" and "I need to do stuff around the house but want to have fun this weekend, what can I procrastinate on."

I don't believe in an afterlife, this is it for me. So yeah, I want to enjoy every day. I'm going to keep doing that. Sure, occasionally its going to cause me some minor hardship, but most of the time, coasting through life is easy if you let it be.

Khane · Jul 1, 2016

You're making excuses to not have to be a responsible adult. The only people I ever hear say stupid shit like this are losers.

You won't even check a fucking website to get your children good, affordable health care. Keep telling yourself you don't want to try to be a man because you think everyone else around you is miserable. The reality is you have no ambition and are a lazy sack of shit who doesn't want to grow up.

You may be a good dad in the sense that you love your kids and you all have fun as a family together. But it doesn't sound like you're preparing them for life at all.

But maybe you're right. Maybe all of us who have careers we focus on and try to excel at and move forward in and act our age are just miserable day in and day out. No happiness for any of us.

Check the goddamn website.

Pemulis · Jul 1, 2016

Peter Pan didn't have kids (or feed them with food stamps)

Khane · Jul 1, 2016

I'm getting worked up over really nothing but seriously Onoes. There is no way your healthcare would be even close to $1700/mo through ACA. Not even close.

It sounds like the tribe you work for has their own insurance company and they charge exorbitant fees to non tribe members for family plans to subsidize their own people's healthcare. So don't use their healthcare, go elsewhere for it.

Khane · Jul 1, 2016

I just checked CT's website for an income of $65k/yr with 2 dependents and plans were coming up for $382/mo with a $500 deductible and $20 copay for office visits. Maximum out of pocket is $3k on that plan.

Those are gold plans. Took me about 3 minutes to get those quotes.

Haast · Jul 1, 2016

Onoes_sl said:
I remember checking right after the divorce and going "Jesus, that's still way too high", but no clue on what the actual figure was.

As for the rest, there is a lot of grow up, man up, get your shit together. I really don't see the need. I look around at other people and think "Wow, their life looks miserable". I am sitting here racking my brain for anyone who's life I would rather have, and can't think of a single person. Even the very wealthy people I know, I would love to have their money, but sure as shit glad I'm not them.

There's a fine line between being positive and irresponsibility/denial. People give you good advice, and you start ranting about how awesome your life is and everyone else is just trying to drag you down. That gets irritating.

You call your ex-wife stupid and lazy, but she figured out how to get the kids insurance (albeit in a shady way) when you couldn't be bothered. I'm glad you like your life, but you come off as an insecure, negligent man-child with some of your reasoning.

Cad · Jul 1, 2016

Khane_sl said:
I just checked CT's website for an income of $65k/yr with 2 dependents and plans were coming up for $382/mo with a $500 deductible and $20 copay for office visits. Maximum out of pocket is $3k on that plan.

Those are gold plans. Took me about 3 minutes to get those quotes.

Picasso3 · Jul 1, 2016

Khane you care too hard bro. Here's what's going to happen with onoes getting health insurance:

nothing

I've argued with my brother for years but there's always some flaw in the system precluding spending money on responsible shit when you can go scuba diving in the Bahamas and then come back and have pappy pay off the credit card. It's a shameless lifestyle that more often than not ends up fine enough to get by.

Cad · Jul 1, 2016

Picasso_sl said:
It's a shameless lifestyle that more often than not ends up fine enough to get by.

Until it doesn't, and then the responsible members of the family get the "medical bills for your homeless brother" guilt trip thrown at you.

Khane · Jul 1, 2016

Picasso_sl said:
Khane you care too hard bro. Here's what's going to happen with onoes getting health insurance:

nothing

I've argued with my brother for years but there's always some flaw in the system precluding spending money on responsible shit when you can go scuba diving in the Bahamas and then come back and have pappy pay off the credit card. It's a shameless lifestyle that more often than not ends up fine enough to get by.

No he'll probably end up getting married again just so he can get the deal on insurance through the tribe that married couples get.

Picasso3 · Jul 1, 2016

Cad_sl said:
Until it doesn't, and then the responsible members of the family get the "medical bills for your homeless brother" guilt trip thrown at you.

That's no problem for the shameless.

Onoes · Jul 1, 2016

Khane_sl said:
You won't even check a fucking website to get your children good, affordable health care. Keep telling yourself you don't want to try to be a man because you think everyone else around you is miserable. The reality is you have no ambition and are a lazy sack of shit who doesn't want to grow up.

My children have great free health care currently, so no, I haven't spent any time looking at alternatives. I'm sure I will next year when the government thing drops off. Or, like you said, I may just get married to save myself thousands a year? I don't know if you remember.. but I did actually get married when I was younger, to a stranger, simply to reduce my car insurance by $200 a month. That worked out super well, so yeah, I might do that. I'll probably just spreadsheet it and see what makes more sense financially.

As for your last thing, yeah, I mean, that's spot on, I wouldn't argue that at all. If you asked me if I think I'm kind and thoughtful I would say yes. If you asked me if I was lazy I would say definitely. If you asked me if I had ambition I would say no, not at all. I'm super apathetic, and if it were possible I would prefer to not work. I would watch every movie ever made, I would play games, I would garden, I would paint the billion miniatures I've collected. If I could do that and have money I would travel like crazy. I know you threw that out as an insult, and I'm aware those are negative traits, but yeah, those are me. I don't get angry and explode at people. I do my best to help everyone I meet. I don't kill things, not even bugs if I can help it. I don't care about my work at all, I go because I have to in order to have the life I want the rest of the time. I give forehead kisses. I will take the path of least resistance every time.

Whatever your definition of "a man" is, I'm sure I don't fit. I don't care. I rarely meet a person of either gender that I feel like fits my definition of what "a person" should be. Shit, I don't even fit my definition of what a person should be.

Back on the topic of life though - Just got back from the bank, where I met with my ex to cancel an account we still had together (It hasn't been used since the divorce, but we both had to go in to cancel it so its just been sitting there), and where she signed a quitclaim form so that I can have her name taken off the title. I didn't even know that was a thing. So, her name will be off the title, and I'm supposed to have all the paperwork to the mortgage company on Tuesday to get her name off the loan as well. I have my appointment with the Lawyer at 8:30 am Wed, and he told his assistance not to charge for it, so win win.

So, as far as the logistical stuff goes, its heading in the right direction. Everything else in my life continues to be run like a 7 year old apparently.

chaos · Jul 1, 2016

You need to sort this insurance thing out sooner rather than later. I'm concerned for you that the state may look at this as fraud and want restitution, at the very least. Then there's the matter of your kids having coverage.

I checked the ACA site like 5 years ago and with a family of 5 on my income, it was like 1500 per month for the maxed out package. Depends on your income but I imagine you'd find it reasonable.

Big Phoenix · Jul 1, 2016

Twilight Sparkle_sl said:
Claims like this are always either wildly exaggerated, or those brand new escalades and iphones are coming from drug money, not legitimate income that was saved by exploiting social programs. It's easy to exploit them in petty ways, it simply isn't possible to exploit them to the tune of a 70k+ SUV.

Kind of like what Onoes and his ex is/was doing?

As for the rest, there is a lot of grow up, man up, get your shit together. I really don't see the need. I look around at other people and think "Wow, their life looks miserable". I am sitting here racking my brain for anyone who's life I would rather have, and can't think of a single person. Even the very wealthy people I know, I would love to have their money, but sure as shit glad I'm not them.

Youre able to fuck off and not give a shit about the responsibility(ya know like making sure your kids have healthcare) because of all the god damn productive and "grown up" people in this country.

Back on the topic of life though - Just got back from the bank, where I met with my ex to cancel an account we still had together (It hasn't been used since the divorce, but we both had to go in to cancel it so its just been sitting there), and where she signed a quitclaim form so that I can have her name taken off the title. I didn't even know that was a thing. So, her name will be off the title, and I'm supposed to have all the paperwork to the mortgage company on Tuesday to get her name off the loan as well. I have my appointment with the Lawyer at 8:30 am Wed, and he told his assistance not to charge for it, so win win.

How long have you been divorced? Youre barely getting around to getting your exwife off the title/mortgage to your house? Are you fucking 5 years old?

Khane · Jul 1, 2016

Onoes_sl said:
My children have great free health care currently, so no, I haven't spent any time looking at alternatives. I'm sure I will next year when the government thing drops off. Or, like you said, I may just get married to save myself thousands a year? I don't know if you remember.. but I did actually get married when I was younger, to a stranger, simply to reduce my car insurance by $200 a month. That worked out super well, so yeah, I might do that. I'll probably just spreadsheet it and see what makes more sense financially.

As for your last thing, yeah, I mean, that's spot on, I wouldn't argue that at all. If you asked me if I think I'm kind and thoughtful I would say yes. If you asked me if I was lazy I would say definitely. If you asked me if I had ambition I would say no, not at all. I'm super apathetic, and if it were possible I would prefer to not work. I would watch every movie ever made, I would play games, I would garden, I would paint the billion miniatures I've collected. If I could do that and have money I would travel like crazy. I know you threw that out as an insult, and I'm aware those are negative traits, but yeah, those are me. I don't get angry and explode at people. I do my best to help everyone I meet. I don't kill things, not even bugs if I can help it. I don't care about my work at all, I go because I have to in order to have the life I want the rest of the time. I give forehead kisses. I will take the path of least resistance every time.

Whatever your definition of "a man" is, I'm sure I don't fit. I don't care. I rarely meet a person of either gender that I feel like fits my definition of what "a person" should be. Shit, I don't even fit my definition of what a person should be.

Back on the topic of life though - Just got back from the bank, where I met with my ex to cancel an account we still had together (It hasn't been used since the divorce, but we both had to go in to cancel it so its just been sitting there), and where she signed a quitclaim form so that I can have her name taken off the title. I didn't even know that was a thing. So, her name will be off the title, and I'm supposed to have all the paperwork to the mortgage company on Tuesday to get her name off the loan as well. I have my appointment with the Lawyer at 8:30 am Wed, and he told his assistance not to charge for it, so win win.

So, as far as the logistical stuff goes, its heading in the right direction. Everything else in my life continues to be run like a 7 year old apparently.

This might be the most pathetic thing I've ever read.

You may as well have just said "Don't care, won't apologize".

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