Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Phazael · Dec 5, 2016

After a while, a lot of special treats become less frequent because sex in general slows down at least a tad from the "can't see air between them" to the "been married and are tired and old" periods. Unless you are a super athlete or something your drive drops with age, anyhow. In my personal experience, the decline in blowjobs is also directly proportional to how much you reduce your muff diving frequency. Basically, Hoss and BigW are spot on. But anything that you can do to jumble the routine up will help both your relationship and your sex life. Routine is the enemy of intimacy.

Aldarion · Dec 5, 2016

Hoss said:
I think you gotta find a girl who genuinely loves giving blowjobs.

Suuuure.

I swear to fuck, wives consider this a badge of honor. Like I genuinely think they get together and brag to each other about it. "I havent given a blowjob in 12 years" "Yer an amateur Marge. I havent given one in 30 years and the fucker still goes down on me once a week, LMFAO" *high fives all around*

I've dated some chicks who genuinely loved sex. I even managed to marry one that for maybe 10 days every month genuinely likes sex. The only woman I ever met who genuinely loved giving BJs was seriously crazy; as in, clinically diagnosed and on medication for her crazy.

I blame society. Only decades of socializing by other women could take a woman who genuinely likes sex and convince her theres something wrong with a BJ. Put your ass up in the air and get plowed? Empowering. But engage in a little genital kissing and the FUCKING PATRIARCHY WINS

Hoss · Dec 5, 2016

Sorry your life is shitty bro. Can't argue the crazy angle, but maybe the key is finding a flavor of crazy you can live with.

My wife gets turned on sucking my dick. Like, she can be not in the mood but decide to take care of me anyway. Then after a little sucky sucky she's clawing at me begging me to plow her.

Picasso3 · Dec 5, 2016

Big_w_powah said:
Send her flowers from a "secret admirer" every day from now until Dec 23rd. Act extremely pissed as fuck about who this secret admirer is. You have to play it appropriately.

Act relieved on the 24th, when nothing shows up.

On the 25th, hand her a little note that says something sappy as shit, signed her secret admirer.

BAM, Christmas dinner for her will be dick.

That's a lot of money

moonarchia · Dec 5, 2016

Omi43221 said:
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for Christmas and she gave me the cop out answer 'all I want is you'. Now I'm stuck in this retarded spot where I know she is going to get me something and I have to figure out a good gift

bah...women

BrotherWu · Dec 5, 2016

Been married 18 years. While her grabbing my dick and just surprising me is pretty rare, I can usually drop a hint and get one. 1 - 2 times per week usually.

In addition, sometimes it is nice to just warm up with some oral and then stick it In the pussy. A 50 50.

Pretty lucky I guess.

Echuta · Dec 5, 2016

a_skeleton_02 said:
Married people serious question.

Is it really that hard to get a blowjob?

Not trying to be funny either.

Been married over 10 years and the frequency definitely goes down (pun intended) over the years. I would say that I get a quality BJ from my wife once every 3 months. Compare this to when we were dating/newlyweds and it was almost twice a week. I almost opened a new thread on this but as we approach middle age-ish our sex drives have taken a nose dive. We both work at different times of the day, run around taking care of our kids, and are just too exhausted at the end of the day to act upon sexual desires even if we have them. The only time we can get back to our horny ways is if we go on a trip just her and I. Thank goodness we're going to Vegas soon. She becomes a completely different person then.

lurkingdirk · Dec 5, 2016

I've been married a long time. Had a lot of kids. The sex life activity varied (when you have twins the energy level does take a dip, and then 2 more within 2 years...). But sex was never lacking. Neither of us felt like we were being denied, and oral has always been willingly plentiful on both sides. I have friends who have wives who talk about hating having to do the "extra stuff" on birthdays and such and I think about just how crappy that would be.

"Oh, right. It's your birthday. I guess I can put your dick in my mouth for as short a time as possible so you can feel you got something special."

Well, go fuck yourself, then. That's not a relationship. That's not being open and honest. Okay, your wife/partner/whatthefuckever doesn't like putting your dick in the mouth. Find out why. Smell? Okay, do it in the shower. Nice and clean. Idea of swallowing? Demonstrate you are not going to cum in her mouth by cuming all over her face instead. Just grossed out by the idea? Grow the fuck up and be an equal partner in your relationship.

moonarchia · Dec 5, 2016

If they knew how to fuck themselves they'd be a lot less prude, and probably have a much better relationship with each other.

Echuta · Dec 5, 2016

I miss the days when I had an office wife. Anything that I couldn't get at home was supplemented by her during our "lunches."

Mrs. Gravy · Dec 5, 2016

I always liked giving head - there is something magically powerful feeling the excitement rise... it's a turn on to turn on...

but whatever floats one's boat...

Cad · Dec 5, 2016

a_skeleton_02 said:
Married people serious question.

Is it really that hard to get a blowjob?

Not trying to be funny either.

No, we both do oral as part of our routine foreplay and build up. Nearly every time.

She usually will give me a blowjob to completion while she's on her period. Best way to accomplish this? Push her in a closet at a party once in a while and eat her pussy until she comes. Let her know you love it to see her enjoy it. She'll return the favor. I think what kills blowjobs is guys are like "dude going down on chicks is for squares" but then expect blowjobs. It's not a tit for tat thing but if you're eating her out every time and making her come like a crazy person she's going to want to help you out as well.

Khane · Dec 6, 2016

"Going down on chicks is for squares"

Hahahahaha.

Tenks · Dec 6, 2016

Way to eat pussy, nerd.

Cad · Dec 6, 2016

Khane said:
"Going down on chicks is for squares"

Hahahahaha.

You wouldn't believe how many guys think going down on women is nasty somehow or that they don't really have to do it... or worse they do it but have no idea how to do it and don't care.

Khane · Dec 6, 2016

That's not what I was commenting on.

Soygen · Dec 6, 2016

If eating pussy is for squares, then I'm the hippest thing in sight.

Cad · Dec 6, 2016

"Don't be a rectangle" ...

fucking guy can't even make a square in post

Noodleface · Dec 6, 2016

I don't get more or less BJ's now than when we were dating. She never initiates them though so it completely removes the fun. The only plus side is she gives full porn BJ's

Khane · Dec 6, 2016

Let's talk about "full porn BJs". Are we talking choke on a cock until snot comes out of her nose porn BJ or slow and sultry Fellucia blow porn BJ?

That whole gag bit was never a turn on for me.

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