My mother used to take a castiron frying pad to my father's head when he got too loaded. That shit is not something you want to mess around with. Problem was that after a few hits, he had been knocked too stupid to learn his lesson
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
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My mother used to take a castiron frying pad to my father's head when he got too loaded. That shit is not something you want to mess around with. Problem was that after a few hits, he had been knocked too stupid to learn his lesson
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
- 14,803
- 32,026
Good luck and don't sell yourself short or settle. Kids first, happiness second, and dignity third. Take it all with a grain of salt from us, but really seriously take control of your life before you end up like your father in law.
I haven't been gaming much lately, but when I was raiding on P99 I could definitely sense some unease from my wife when I would head into the office. I ended up setting up a laptop in the family room so I could be next to her while we (she) watched TV after the kids were asleep and she enjoyed it. I think as someone mentioned above it's just about being physically near them. Some / most women just hate their husbands to disappear into another room and having all of their focus absorbed by something. I don't think it's a rational thing, but it just seemed like more of a primal response for her to feel annoyed by something that was able to fully capture my attention. Even knowing that we otherwise might just be sitting on the couch watching some BS and goofing on our phones doesn't seem to matter... I think it was just about keeping a "connection" open to me while I gamed.
I do agree that it's a complete double standard that I can spend hours hanging out with friends, playing sports, reading a book, or working on household projects / hobbies and it's viewed as healthy and productive, but for some reason gaming for a few hours instead of watching TV or sleeping is viewed as wasteful or rude.
I do agree that it's a complete double standard that I can spend hours hanging out with friends, playing sports, reading a book, or working on household projects / hobbies and it's viewed as healthy and productive, but for some reason gaming for a few hours instead of watching TV or sleeping is viewed as wasteful or rude.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,978
- 9,386
I’ll go into the bedroom to game and eventually the wife will make her way in, climb into bed and watch something on Netflix or work in her genealogy stuff on Ancestory. I’ll turn around and ask her if she wants me to join her and she’ll strait up tell me “nope, enjoy your game I just wanted to be near ya.”
So there’s some merit in that, but she’s also cool if I do it during the day too, she’s pretty laid back. As long as we are home together she considers that spending time together.
So there’s some merit in that, but she’s also cool if I do it during the day too, she’s pretty laid back. As long as we are home together she considers that spending time together.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,384
- 16,303
Things cool off a bit this week. I gamed less, because SURPRISE like I said I only needed to play a lot the first couple weeks, and she hasn't said much. Sometimes she gives me shit for staying up to late when I do game and it's like.. if I'm still waking up with the kids and going to work why does it bother you? But at least this week she wasn't on my ass about the game everyday.
Big_w_powah
Trakanon Raider
- 1,887
- 750
Noodle,
Serious question: Has your wife ever been mentally evaluated?
I ask this because as a bipolar as fuck dude, sometimes little even planned for changes fuck me up. You playing more, even though it was a planned change with little impact, was a change. It may have fucked with her head in a way even she didn't realize.
Serious question: Has your wife ever been mentally evaluated?
I ask this because as a bipolar as fuck dude, sometimes little even planned for changes fuck me up. You playing more, even though it was a planned change with little impact, was a change. It may have fucked with her head in a way even she didn't realize.
Koushirou
Log Wizard
- 5,214
- 13,185
My mind does a little mini-freakout as soon as my fiance leaves the room to go to bed for the night. I'm usually just at my computer doing whatever and he's playing Xbox with his buds, so it's not like we have a ton of interaction going on, but things just feel more...right? with him just being in the same room as me. Can't explain it.
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Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,978
- 9,386
And that’s great, that’s how things should be imo. However it’s also okay for time apart, in fact it’s healthy imo. I’m more than fine going off and doing things on my own and so is she, but we also genuinely enjoy being around each other and will do things in the same room with little interactions either, other than her getting up, coming over to me and giving me a hug every once in awhile.
I’ll ask if there’s anything she’d like to do, she appreciate that I ask and tells me no. We’ve been friends since 1992 and best friends since 2008, we genuinely enjoy being around one another and are secure when we aren’t. We both appreciate that about one another.
It’s crazy because I’ve never had that before, it took some getting used to.
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
- 14,803
- 32,026
My wife and I have what we call the Wall of Shame in our bedroom. We each have our own large TV for our PS4s and a 65 mounted on the wall above to watch shows while we veg out. Its as awesome as it sounds. When we are in the livingroom, one of us generally does stuff on a laptop while the other games or we binge watch out there. As long as I am in eyeshot of my wife, I never have any problems. But we also both gave up MMOs right before we got marries which I think was a good move on our part.
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Namon
Blackwing Lair Raider
- 1,976
- 2,565
This is why I love my set up. WE have the textbook definition of open concept. We just have one huge ass room with what was our kitchen, that is now the den, the dining room, and the living room all in one space (knocked down all the walls when we moved the kitchen to the garage for my wife's catering). The den is literally 10 feet from the main couch, and I have my smaller TV with gaming all going to my hearing aids (like having speakers only I can hear, but still hear everything going on outside). The main couch has the big TV that my wife watches. So presence is there, and I can game while she watches shows I don't like. Win.
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Dandai
<WoW Guild Officer>
- 5,918
- 4,504
About a year into being married (22-23 years old) I had my desk and computer in the living room. My wife told me that she resented that she was always looking at the back of my head. So when we moved I moved my desk into an office and it’s been that way everywhere we’ve lived for the past 10 years.
Lately, however, she and the kids have been on top of me in my office more than their in the living room (kids with tablets, wife with her phone). My desk is on wheels now, so I I’ll experiment with moving out to the living room and see what that’s like.
Lately, however, she and the kids have been on top of me in my office more than their in the living room (kids with tablets, wife with her phone). My desk is on wheels now, so I I’ll experiment with moving out to the living room and see what that’s like.
Daelos
Guarding the guardians
- 219
- 58
My ex was always complaining about me disappearing into my den to play games. So I bought an expensive gaming laptop to play next to her on the sofa.
Then she found other stuff to complain about. So I ended up in the den. With my laptop.
Then she found other stuff to complain about. So I ended up in the den. With my laptop.
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Who has older kids?
Mine are 17 in their senior year. Wife is obsessed with every aspect of their life but especially my daughter. Her life is going to end when the girl moves out I think.
Wife had a conference in Vegas and so I came only because it was my birthday. Made it very clear I wasn’t going to mess up her time but that I wanted a little extra bedroom time at night. She spent more time on the phone with my daughter each day then we spent having sex for the entire four days.
Mine are 17 in their senior year. Wife is obsessed with every aspect of their life but especially my daughter. Her life is going to end when the girl moves out I think.
Wife had a conference in Vegas and so I came only because it was my birthday. Made it very clear I wasn’t going to mess up her time but that I wanted a little extra bedroom time at night. She spent more time on the phone with my daughter each day then we spent having sex for the entire four days.
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Yeah, we have two 17 year olds who are seniors. My wife wants this "important year" to be "special." I think she's actually having a little anxiety about what happens when kids start leaving. Neither she nor I are worried about them to any large extent - they're smart kids, they'll make good decisions, they'll succeed in whatever they put their minds to - but the impact it will have to our family life over all has her worried, I think.
It's not rational. Just because two of the kids are away at college doesn't mean family time will now be crappy and incomplete. She knows this, but she's turning into a little bit of a helicopter parent, and it's driving everyone (including my wife) crazy. I can't explain it, nor can she, but I hope we figure out how to get it under control.
