Marriage and the Power of Divorce

BoozeCube said:

So I don’t know if this is the thread for this but it falls under relationship advice in my opinion. So I am 38 out of shape middle aged white dude and I started seeing and fucking this hot 23 year old with a 1 year old kid. I don’t know if we have anything in common other than I like fucking her, my warning bells tell me something is wrong with this situation but I am enjoying it. Also part of me feels a little creepo pervert due to the age difference.

Someone Dr. Phil my ass so I am ok with this and continue to plow like Danny Devito would do.

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absolutely keep crushing that and 6 months from now, when you can't stand her, because that will most likely happen, revel in the fact that you were banging a 23 year old for the foreseeable future.

Stop feeling guilty about it.

Women are at their peak 18-29.

Men own the next 3 decades. Fucking enjoy it. It is absolutely obscene how just living your life the way you were taught to do makes you a fucking superhero to women. You're reaping the rewards of getting out of your parent's house and building a life for yourself. Women want to hitch their wagon to that. Just don't be dumb and knock them up or marry them and you can rotate thru them at your pleasure.

I was having a conversation with one of the women in the office at work where I said something about dating a new gal, and she said "oh yeah, what's this one's name, Miss November?" and I cracked the fuck up because it's not far off from how quickly they're coming along. Life is good, man.

Incoming...

I hate being married. I either married the wrong person, or im an asshole, or i dont know what is going on, or all the above, but im getting close to mt wits end.
We have a 4 yr and a dog.

My wife completed recently the nursing practitioner track for pediatrics in florida, recently I mean in august. This program took 2 years to complete and gives and MBA in nursing and an license as a nursing practitioner.

She passed all her boards, so she can work as a nurse, or as a nurse practitionier in all of florida.
Last time she had a job before that was 9 years ago, before she decided to go abroad to study medicine.
That path didn't worked out. You can say that for her entire life (36 close to 37 yo) she has worked for less than 2 years in total.
The rest of the time has been studing. Medical rorations.
After graduating in august she got a job teaching nursing that is 4 hours a day, for 1 month september, now next cycle starts in december, in 4 days. So basically 1 month on, 1 off, part time when on.
It pays well honestly (30 hr), but it consumes some more time because she has to get the classes ready.


I am the main breadwinner I work from 8:30 to 6 pm in place 45-60 minutes away. Which means wake up at 6:45, walk the dog, get ready,
leave at 7:30 AM and come back home at 7 PM. If I go to the gym then im home at 8:30.
After I get home I walk the dog again, interact with the baby, put the baby to sleep, eat, shower, clean whatever is dirty on the kitchen(often coffee mugs from her and baby food preparation leftovers and other assorted things) and take out the trash, everyday.
I play EQ I do it around 9sh at night when all the chores are done, 1 to 1.5 hours, then its bed time by 11 PM. rinse and repeat the next day.

She handles the girl in the morning, takes her to school and is done with that by 8:30 AM. picks up the girl at 5 pm, somedays there are other things to do in the afternoon, but that is only 2 days a week, but not today.
Today she went to they gym in the morning and the rest of the day she got the thanksgiving food ready.

so today i get home at 8:30, walk the dog, eat, shower, baby to sleep, and cleaned the kitchen. I was done by 10 PM. At 10 pm at night I finally have time to log in EQ, and relax.

And then she calls me over to the kitchen,...
I get up from the chair go all the way over there and she tells me... "the fridge door is ajar". I did not pushed it hard enough to close it.

I FUCKING EXPLODED....

me: "seriously you had to call me all the way here, to do this... you couldn't just close the door. You had to call me. You have to stop with that thing. Also its not fair that i have to clean your muggs from breakfast"

her: "well guess what those mugs are not from breakfast, they are from 6 PM. So you are wrong get, your facts straight".

me:**summons all internal strength to not choke her** "What difference does it make if is from breakfast or 6pm."

her: "you just don't want to do anything. "

**This is after i got home, walked the dog, cleaned the kitchen, threw away the trash, put the baby to sleep**

I FUCKING EXPLODED....

me: "What did you do today" Did you do your linkedin profile? I told you do your linkedin profile. Show it to me.

her: I don't have to show anything to you.

me: OMG how the heck are you looking for jobs, Are you doing a half assed job at looking for a nursing job? Do you even want a nursing job?

her: yes...

me: **blinks** I dont think you understood what I said. doing a half assed job means NOT doing a good job.

her: Oh... well go to the hospital website.... show me the linkedin there.

me: OMG that is not how it works, linkedin the number 1 job network for professionals, where everyone contacts for jobs, recruiters will find you there. They even have jobs listed there. You go search and apply. Show me your profile.

her: i don't have to show you anything.

me: its because you dot have one.... fucking great.

this is the curated version, I'm physically exhausted, tired, and it feels that she is not putting the same effort on doing the chores/ maintaining the household.

Another example.
She does the laundry on weekend or weekdays but she doesn't fold. She wants me to fold the cloths, so I have told her i can help but i will not do it on the weekdays. I don't have the time it takes to fold a full laundry bag(30 minutes).
I'm not going to put anymore time in chores that I have to do on the weekday. I'll do it on the weekend. so the cloth stay on the bag, even if she is having a no work day.

If she is not working the chores are her responsibility. I don't feel that is unreasonable. Taking care of your child is not a job.

It sounds like she doesn't want to work despite what she is saying.

It honestly feels like she is missing the grit. When I got fired from my first job, I was applying to 20mjobs a week, until I landed a job far away, that eventually got me a closer job.
Why isn’t she calling every pediatrics office in the city and ask them if they are hiring?
I told her to do that. To make a list of practices and start calling them.
I think she does wants to work, but doesn’t know how to get there, or be aggressive to get there, and that makes her an unhappy housewife, because she doesn’t want to be a housewife either.

So Im getting the worse of both ends, a crappy housewife / not an equal worker.

We are hiring a maid to the house cleaning once a month, but that doesn’t help with the day to day stuff. Fuck, did we said harsh things I straight up called her a retard when she told me the linkedin thing.
Another thing that grates me is that she never apologizes for anything, so our arguments have almost no resolution. They just linger until I I eventually apologize whether I was right or wrong.

I’ll get a dog walker from the building. That takes something off my plate.