Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Jackie Treehorn

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Welp, two months later, and we’re officially dating now. I’ve met some of her friends, etc. She’s super easy to deal with, and I’ve found her to be honest in everything I’ve ever asked her or pried about. Works hard, is smart, cute, fun, etc. Meeting her friends was a lil’ awkward at first because I have little in common with them, but we had some drinks and it became more natural. Imagine you walk into a room full of 23-26 year old women at 39 years old and trying *not* to be awkward.

That was literally the scenario. Got asked to come over to her house, walked in, and they’re all there milling around and of course all look at me when I walk in and say hello. There was four of them plus the girl the girl I’m seeing a couple of weeks back.

I still haven’t met her parents yet who also live close by. That is...going to be an interesting day when it comes. She said her mom knows she’s dating someone and her mom’s only concern has been she’s been keeping up with her school work (she graduates in a few weeks.) Can’t be any worse than walking into her house full of girlfriends to be honest.

Another Tinder story that isn’t a failure (but doesn’t hold much promise either.)

About two months ago I matched with a 23 year old who showed up as living 2 miles away. I’m 39 for reference. I’d describe her as 7/10 - super cute face, blonde, big natural boobs, maybe a touch thick, but I like that.

I’ve matched with dozens of pretty younger girls on Tinder, 5/10 times they’re looking for a sugar daddy, 4/10 times they’re bots. So I expected this one to be no different / fake / bullshit.

We talked briefly for a couple of days, I asked for her number, got no response for like a week. She finally sent another message to me and said she was willing to give me her Snapchat. So for another 4-5 weeks we casually chatted on SC, she’d sent me pictures of her out with girlfriends, etc.

Then a little over a week ago she says “okay, Snapchat is kinda a pain, here’s my phone number.”

So we start to text a bit but she still uses Snapchat constantly, but whatever. That’s 23 year olds apparently. I kept asking her out to dinner, but she told me she’s shy about meeting someone from Tinder out somewhere...then she proceeds to tell me she’d be more comfortable having me over for a drink at her place. WTF.

By this time we’re friends on Instagram and I easily found her Facebook page and at least learned she’s real and not a catfish.

So this past Tuesday I go to bed around 10:00 like I usually do. By sheer chance I woke up around 1 am, and she’d tried to FaceTime me. I send her a message back to which she immediately replied. I get on FaceTime with her and we chat briefly and she says can’t sleep and asks me to come over and watch TV with her. I’m in my head like “okay, I have work tomorrow, but who gives a shit.”

I tell her I’ll come over. I took a quick shower and was there around 1:30ish. If you know the Bay Area at all, I live in San Ramon, she lives in Danville which is super close by.

I get to her place...she’s a 23 year old student...and she’s got a 1600 sqft condo to herself. I later learn her grandfather owns it. Not a big deal anywhere else, but being the Bay Area it’s easily a $1m condo.

She invites me in, we open a bottle of wine, of which she’d already drank like half a bottle of white. We start watching TV until like 4 am. She asks me if I want to watch anything else or go to bed, and I say let’s go to bed.

So we get in there...we both lay down, and within five minutes we’re making out. Then a little while later I take her boobs out, and we start to have sex with no condom. She asks me to pull out and not finish inside her, so long story short that happened on her ass.

We lay down for a while and cuddle up, it starts to get daylight a bit..at some point she starts to fuck me again on top. Then we both wake up something like 8:30 and go at it again (I could not finish the 2nd and 3rd time.)

I ended up getting to work at 10 am and emailed my boss around 7 saying I couldn’t sleep well.

She says she wants to meet up again and has been snap chatting me as usual. We haven’t made any concrete plans, I’m not even sure that’s a thing with 23 year olds. So I wonder if I’ll actually see her again, but it’s been less than a week so hard to say. She goes to school a few days a week and the hospital a few days a week.

I’m aware this is *quite a waste of time* for someone who claims to be looking for a real relationship (me) but I get myself into the damndest situations. She says she hates guys her own age and likes older guys.

I’d say she’s secretly looking for money but quite obviously she’s got that covered...she constantly sends me pictures of her out with girlfriends at restaurants that aren’t cheap in the area having drinks. She also told me she’s set to inherit a good amount of money from grandpa.
 

Khane

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Imagine dating a 23-26 year old at 39 and instead of thinking "Maybe I'm just immature" you think "Nah it's just that she's super mature".

As someone who is close to your age (36), you're kidding yourself if you think this can work out. You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.
 
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Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Imagine dating a 23-26 year old at 39 and instead of thinking "Maybe I'm just immature" you think "Nah it's just that she's super mature".

As someone who is close to your age (36), you're kidding yourself if you think this can work out. You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.
He either won the lottery or the crazy is just festering underneath.
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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Imagine dating a 23-26 year old at 39 and instead of thinking "Maybe I'm just immature" you think "Nah it's just that she's super mature".

As someone who is close to your age (36), you're kidding yourself if you think this can work out. You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

I’m not. She’s not perfect, nor am I obsessed with her, nor do I have any particular hope this will work out any more than anyone else I’ve dated.

Your “pussy on a pedestal” thing doesn’t work in my case.

By all accounts everything is healthy at the moment. There’s plenty of give-get, communication is good, we don’t spend an inordinate amount of time with each other, etc. She’s not immature. She works 12 hour shifts at a hospital, on top of schooling, and that’s her priority. I have quite a bit of admiration for her work ethic.
 

Khane

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You're 39 and she's 23. The difference in life experience is staggering. Or at least it should be.
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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You're 39 and she's 23. The difference in life experience is staggering. Or at least it should be.

Of course it is. And? I’ve traveled, lived in several places, moved across the country, had many relationships, and experienced more than her.

I’m single with no baggage, we’re both relatively affluent, nothing is holding me down either way. If it works it works, if it doesn’t it doesn’t.

I’ve dated women 30-40 in age with tons of issues. I’m not saying you’re wrong in the gist of what you’re getting at, but this girl isn’t half bad. There’s been no red flags yet.

Don’t overestimate how much I’m “into” her, my expectations are always realistic based on a number of factors.
 

Oblio

Utah
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Ignore Khane Khane the only period of time anything he said carried any weight was when we all mistakenly thought he was Black. Once we found out he was a Ginger everything he said went from relevant to eye roll.
 
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Khane

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Look at how defensive you are. You just justified it as "don't overestimate how much I'm into her". You met her on Tinder right? You know there are age filters on dating apps correct?
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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Look at how defensive you are. You just justified it as "don't overestimate how much I'm into her". You met her on Tinder right? You know there are age filters on dating apps correct?

I’m not even being defensive. You’re projecting I have an undue, overly positive view of her. I don’t.

Have you been drinking?
 
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Khane

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You think I've been drinking because I'm giving you a hard time about dating someone who wasn't born until you were 16 years old and you can't possibly have anything truly in common with?

You want to date a 23 year old, and even meet her parents, as a 39 year old. You sure you haven't been drinking?
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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My brother in law is 36 dating 45 year old and it's super fucking weird

Why, because it’s a dude dating an older woman? 9 years isn’t that bad. I had a multi year relationship with a woman almost seven years older than me. She was in great shape and had perfect skin and looked no older than me, so that helped.
 

alavaz

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My brother in law is 36 dating 45 year old and it's super fucking weird

Is it the age that makes it weird or is it because she's a weird person? 9 years, especially when we're talking 30's and 40's aint really shit, but if these are the people you've told stories about then I'd say age difference is the least of their problems.
 
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