Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,274
- 15,097
My mother has a $50k ring and a $25k ring from my stepfather. But they've been together like 25 years so I guess it worked out
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
- 43,738
- 52,289
I feel like we should be laughing at this too, or was he just commissioned really late?
- 1
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,934
- 20,752
Talk to your ex about 5/2/2/5. Apparently it's the standard arrangement here for 50/50. The theory being it's consistent for the kids because they have certain days with their parents, and then they go less time between seeing each parent.
The gist is one parent has the kids Mon/Tues, the other Wed/Thurs, and then they alternate 3 day weekends with the kids. So you have the kids for 5 days, 2 days with Mom, 2 days with you, and 5 days with Mom. Then it starts over.
I was pretty skeptical about it when I heard about it, but it turns out it's actually really good. The kids know exactly when they're gonna be where, with the bonus of being during the school year, you almost never have to see the ex because all of the custody exchanges basically occur on school days. Maybe that's not a thing for everyone, but Ive gone over a year without so much as seeing my ex, and that works great for me.
- 1
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
- 42,720
- 109,024
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,274
- 15,097
I think I only spent between $600-1000, but that was on minimum wage so it felt like a lot at the time
- 1
Suspending all logic and reason to appease them is a testament to your love and also a good marriage lesson.
- 3
fris
Vyemm Raider
- 2,158
- 2,477
that's interesting, might consider it sometime down teh road. she recently lost her job, so we quit afterschool care and she picks the boys up every day afterschool regardless who's week it is. so instead of going months w/o seeing her, i now see her every day after she baby sits them for ~ 2 hours daily during my week.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,793
- 9,201
Alright, So, speaking as a father who does not have custody of his two oldest kids and they live out of state, I spend thousands a year flying to see them every chance I get and flying them here to spend time with myself, my wife and her son as well. I Facetime them every other day, I quiz my daughter on test questions, I keep track of their grades remotely, phone conference with their teachers and do everything in my power to remain an almost daily fixture in their lives from 700 miles away.
So, that being said, I want you to read the next words carefully and really take them to heart.
Fuck. You.
- 2
- 2
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,793
- 9,201
My wife also has liver (and kidney) problems so I fully get what you are feeling right now. Positive vibes going your way man. Just try to stay positive for her if you can. I know its hard but she needs that from you more than anything right now.
- 1
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,793
- 9,201
Same. My wife told me her engagement right was to have no gold or diamonds. So I got her a silver hand and a tanzanite. Our wedding bands both match, they are tungsten with a design inlayed in them and are both one of a kind. They were $200 each, her engagement ring was around $500. She loves them both and anytime I've offered an upgrade she says no. Admittedly shes not a big jewelry person but she wanted to use the money we woulda spent on them to set aside for travel. Which I was totally down for.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 27,220
- 15,360
My wife tricked me out of Steak and a BJ day. I did get steak, but she distracted me with it being Pi day so I ate her pussy and fucked her, but got no BJ. I think in the coming divorce this will be enough for the judge to just give me everything. What do you guys think?
- 4
TheAylix
Vyemm Raider
- 386
- 2,167
The judge finalized my divorce today.
I'm massively relieved - in no small part because I did all the paperwork, the filing, and wrote up the settlement agreement, and I had a nagging fear that the whole process was actually too easy. I kept expecting that - at some point in the process - the rug would get pulled out from underneath me and I'd be stuck in the sort of legal divorce court quagmires that you always hear about. Nope. The whole thing was over and done with in about two months; most of that time spent waiting on the court hearing to be scheduled.
The divorce itself was a long time coming, and was uncontested. For her part, my ex-wife just took her personal things, the king-size bed, her car, the two cats, and moved into an apartment in DC. I got everything else, including what I really wanted: the house.
So, hopefully, that's the end of that.
I'm massively relieved - in no small part because I did all the paperwork, the filing, and wrote up the settlement agreement, and I had a nagging fear that the whole process was actually too easy. I kept expecting that - at some point in the process - the rug would get pulled out from underneath me and I'd be stuck in the sort of legal divorce court quagmires that you always hear about. Nope. The whole thing was over and done with in about two months; most of that time spent waiting on the court hearing to be scheduled.
The divorce itself was a long time coming, and was uncontested. For her part, my ex-wife just took her personal things, the king-size bed, her car, the two cats, and moved into an apartment in DC. I got everything else, including what I really wanted: the house.
So, hopefully, that's the end of that.
- 3
TheAylix
Vyemm Raider
- 386
- 2,167
Exactly - no children at all, and we kept our finances separate through the entirety of the marriage. Plus, we both make very good money being loathsome DC insiders, so there were no questions of spousal support or benefit entitlements.
The whole thing was sort of anticlimactic. We were together for about 14 years, married for almost 10, and just grew totally apart in terms of what we wanted out of life. In particular, I hated the idea of being in my mid-40s, living in some rented place in the city with a girl and her cats. I already did that part of my life - in my mid-20s.
TheAylix
Vyemm Raider
- 386
- 2,167
Pretty much - it devolved over the last few years from a marriage into the two of us living as basically roommates. By this time last year, we had both essentially checked out of the marriage; serious communication had broken down between us, the sex had stopped, and we were just coasting along on inertia.
My final straw really came last summer, when my ex-wife couldn't take a week off from work to come to my parents' 50th wedding anniversary mega-vacation. It still wound up as the best vacation I've had in years, but the time spent with my extended family reinforced for me what I really wanted out of my life, and my marriage just wasn't working towards those goals.
I'm sure she had a similar revelation at some point, as far as her own life goals went. Maybe it was my refusal to move back into the city; she had fallen out of love with our house, she utterly despised the daily commute into DC (which admittedly has gotten much worse over the past few years), and I'm certain she felt like she was perpetually exhausted and that I wasn't helping fix the situation, much less helping her advance her goals in life.
Still, I don't think either of us saw the other as the enemy - only as someone we used to care about who now wanted different things out of their life. That's probably what made the whole divorce surprisingly easy and amenable. We were on friendly terms the whole time, I made sure to be scrupulously fair in our settlement agreement, and we made as clean and total a break as I think is possible. I haven't heard anything from her since the start of February, when I needed to get some documents for court, and that was kept simple and brief. At this point, I doubt either of us will ever contact the other again.