Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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alavaz

alavaz

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Hoss said:
Are you sure its post malone? It might be because that's where he can't have them. You probably should have set stricter limits then later 'give in' on a finger tattoo or something.
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Lol.

Hoss makes a good point. A lot of this boards members are on the spectrum and will take what I wrote very literally... My son is 9. He will be getting zero tattoos until he is 18 as minors are not legally allowed to get tattoos. When he is 18 and a legal adult, if he chooses to still get a tattoo, he may get one anywhere he wants as is his body and his right. We will only judge him harshly for it and have very awkward Christmases, if it is on his face or neck.
 
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Hoss

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alavaz said:
Lol.

Hoss makes a good point. A lot of this boards members are on the spectrum and will take what I wrote very literally... My son is 9. He will be getting zero tattoos until he is 18 as minors are not legally allowed to get tattoos. When he is 18 and a legal adult, if he chooses to still get a tattoo, he may get one anywhere he wants as is his body and his right. We will only judge him harshly for it and have very awkward Christmases, if it is on his face or neck.
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You can't blame me for believing you, this is the GU section, no trolling allowed. And I don't know much about tats but I assumed with parental consent you could get them much sooner. In the 40s they tatooed kids blood type on their chest.
 
Conefed

Conefed

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I've been working on myself since the separation and am in a good place. I found a new lady and that has been going well. I attempted to slow things down for this one because clearly I didn't properly vet the last one, but it's going pretty fast. I have to check myself when messaging, because working solely off her responses would be an escalation of Job Bluth in Vegas proportions. Introduced her to 6yo this weekend (she has no kids, never married), and that went surprisingly smooth.

My own bond with the kid has grown over quarantine, and we were good before. Working from home has been great for that.

The alternating weeks still eats me. He returns reeking of smoke, fingernails long and dirty, and teeth yellow and gunky. Usually takes me three days to get him back on schedule. The past week was first time I couldn't get teeth back white; the yellowing may be stained. I printed off the 90 page homework packet from school and put it in a nice folder with supplies. Knowing the price of toner, I had been giving the ex the packet along with the finished work so she could see it and any correspondence mailed to me (we have split custody, but I have decision making ability and school doesn't communicate to her). Two weeks in a row they didn't do anything and last week she didn't even bring the packet.

6yo cries when (he) has to go and begs all week to stay with me exclusively. He tells me her mother (his grandmother) hits him in the mouth and back of head, hands. (stipulation of custody is ex can't be alone with him, her mother/brother/father/case worker must be there)
I wanted to pull her junkie ass out of the car today and tell her to never lay a finger on him again. But i refrained. Child cried again today at exchange. I never know to stay for support or if that'll make things worse so leave. Of course callous ex glared at me and demanded to know why he was crying. "He misses me," i said ineffectually.

We didn't split over differences or infidelity. We left because she's a danger. Any day, without exaggeration, she could knife her mother and my child. Feels bad.

New lady works in court system. She's going to help me with divorce paperwork during this offweek. (Before getting to this point of stability, the paperwork triggered anxiety and flashbacks of the event (which child, then 4 did witness)
 
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Omi43221

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Conefed said:
I've been working on myself since the separation and am in a good place. I found a new lady and that has been going well. I attempted to slow things down for this one because clearly I didn't properly vet the last one, but it's going pretty fast. I have to check myself when messaging, because working solely off her responses would be an escalation of Job Bluth in Vegas proportions. Introduced her to 6yo this weekend (she has no kids, never married), and that went surprisingly smooth.

My own bond with the kid has grown over quarantine, and we were good before. Working from home has been great for that.

The alternating weeks still eats me. He returns reeking of smoke, fingernails long and dirty, and teeth yellow and gunky. Usually takes me three days to get him back on schedule. The past week was first time I couldn't get teeth back white; the yellowing may be stained. I printed off the 90 page homework packet from school and put it in a nice folder with supplies. Knowing the price of toner, I had been giving the ex the packet along with the finished work so she could see it and any correspondence mailed to me (we have split custody, but I have decision making ability and school doesn't communicate to her). Two weeks in a row they didn't do anything and last week she didn't even bring the packet.

6yo cries when (he) has to go and begs all week to stay with me exclusively. He tells me her mother (his grandmother) hits him in the mouth and back of head, hands. (stipulation of custody is ex can't be alone with him, her mother/brother/father/case worker must be there)
I wanted to pull her junkie ass out of the car today and tell her to never lay a finger on him again. But i refrained. Child cried again today at exchange. I never know to stay for support or if that'll make things worse so leave. Of course callous ex glared at me and demanded to know why he was crying. "He misses me," i said ineffectually.

We didn't split over differences or infidelity. We left because she's a danger. Any day, without exaggeration, she could knife her mother and my child. Feels bad.

New lady works in court system. She's going to help me with divorce paperwork during this offweek. (Before getting to this point of stability, the paperwork triggered anxiety and flashbacks of the event (which child, then 4 did witness)
Click to expand...

I thought my situation was bad, yours is much much worse. So atleast you made me feel better about my situation.
 
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chaos

chaos

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Conefed said:
I've been working on myself since the separation and am in a good place. I found a new lady and that has been going well. I attempted to slow things down for this one because clearly I didn't properly vet the last one, but it's going pretty fast. I have to check myself when messaging, because working solely off her responses would be an escalation of Job Bluth in Vegas proportions. Introduced her to 6yo this weekend (she has no kids, never married), and that went surprisingly smooth.

My own bond with the kid has grown over quarantine, and we were good before. Working from home has been great for that.

The alternating weeks still eats me. He returns reeking of smoke, fingernails long and dirty, and teeth yellow and gunky. Usually takes me three days to get him back on schedule. The past week was first time I couldn't get teeth back white; the yellowing may be stained. I printed off the 90 page homework packet from school and put it in a nice folder with supplies. Knowing the price of toner, I had been giving the ex the packet along with the finished work so she could see it and any correspondence mailed to me (we have split custody, but I have decision making ability and school doesn't communicate to her). Two weeks in a row they didn't do anything and last week she didn't even bring the packet.

6yo cries when (he) has to go and begs all week to stay with me exclusively. He tells me her mother (his grandmother) hits him in the mouth and back of head, hands. (stipulation of custody is ex can't be alone with him, her mother/brother/father/case worker must be there)
I wanted to pull her junkie ass out of the car today and tell her to never lay a finger on him again. But i refrained. Child cried again today at exchange. I never know to stay for support or if that'll make things worse so leave. Of course callous ex glared at me and demanded to know why he was crying. "He misses me," i said ineffectually.

We didn't split over differences or infidelity. We left because she's a danger. Any day, without exaggeration, she could knife her mother and my child. Feels bad.

New lady works in court system. She's going to help me with divorce paperwork during this offweek. (Before getting to this point of stability, the paperwork triggered anxiety and flashbacks of the event (which child, then 4 did witness)
Click to expand...
damn dude
I hope you can find a way to get the grandmother to cut that shit out. Maybe the courts have to get involved, idk. That shit pisses me off to hear. I loved my grandmother so much, she was an amazing woman and had nothing but love for me and all my cousins. I can't even imagine her hitting me or another kid. Sorry you have to go through this but at least your kid has you as an advocate.
 
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Tarrant

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How the child looks when coming back from his mothers reminds me a lot of my two older ones back in the day. I get the frustration man and I hope you’re able to eventually get full custody somehow.
 
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Conefed

Conefed

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It has been about a month with new lady. She's affectionate and supportive, kid loves her. She has her own home and works. Good set of teeth.
I've met her family and no major flags.
Tonight I introduce her to game night and the dork side of things.

I hope to serve my ex this Sunday. I've been reading through the packet and filling out forms for divorce in my downtime.
This Sunday i pick child up, so she won't have a week to lash out on him.
 
TJT

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My wife went out of her way to scour down a doctor in Texas that was educated in East Europe. She has a complete hatred for how American doctors do anything and I find it really perplexing and stupid. But mostly stupid.

So she found some old Romanian hag at the hospital to be her doctor for most shit and she's an OBGYN so whatever.

So dumb though lol.
 
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Foler

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TJT said:
My wife went out of her way to scour down a doctor in Texas that was educated in East Europe. She has a complete hatred for how American doctors do anything and I find it really perplexing and stupid. But mostly stupid.

So she found some old Romanian hag at the hospital to be her doctor for most shit and she's an OBGYN so whatever.

So dumb though lol.
Click to expand...
Lol. Cultural nuances in relationships like this crack me up. From my experience you usually don't expect them until it happens and you're like, wait, what?

How long has she been in the u.s. now?
 
Noodleface

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TJT said:
My wife went out of her way to scour down a doctor in Texas that was educated in East Europe. She has a complete hatred for how American doctors do anything and I find it really perplexing and stupid. But mostly stupid.

So she found some old Romanian hag at the hospital to be her doctor for most shit and she's an OBGYN so whatever.

So dumb though lol.
Click to expand...
My brothers wife's family is like that. They immigrated from Portugal and go out of their way to only support Portuguese businesses and doctors
 
goishen

goishen

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TJT said:
My wife went out of her way to scour down a doctor in Texas that was educated in East Europe. She has a complete hatred for how American doctors do anything and I find it really perplexing and stupid. But mostly stupid.

So she found some old Romanian hag at the hospital to be her doctor for most shit and she's an OBGYN so whatever.

So dumb though lol.
Click to expand...


A doctor that practices extremely close to me is Polish. Accent and all. He took one look at me and said, "You have pneumonia, in both lungs." (this was years ago, I'm fine now) American doctors need to see blood tests, and a five star spectrum of other test. Most American doctors are like, "Yah, I wanna see you back in here in X number of weeks." Eastern European doctors, at least mine, just don't give a shit. He told me to come back, but when I did it was just, "How are you feeling? Okay, see ya!" And then my doctor didn't charge me for the second visit.

It's like American doctors are too scared to be wrong to make a diagnosis. And then, come back in so we can make more money.

My 2 cents.
 
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Khane

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Yea, they order those tests because they are scared of being wrong...

Lol, money talks my man. Especially in a completely for profit healthcare system.
 
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TJT

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My wife's mom was an eye surgeon in Ukraine for like 15 years. She's been a pediatrician for the past decade or so. I just think that because of this she has very specific expectations on how medicine should be practiced and she gets pissed as American medical professionals simply don't do a lot of the shit she's used to.

Wife had blood drawn the other day and spent like 10 minutes telling me that the way American phlebotomists do it is wrong and stupid. Which I completely ignored because they did successfully get her blood so whatever.

The only very large cultural difference I've noticed is like I've said. She has very clear expectations of what men are supposed to do and what women are supposed to do. She gets mega pissed at even the suggestion she should help with something in the man category. No matter how small it is. Although I've been meaning to ask.

Araysar Araysar is the mainstream belief in what I can only describe as, "dumb gypsy magic" equally as prevalent in Russia? Seemingly everyone I have ever met in Ukrainian society adheres to it at some level. I had thought they just enjoyed fortune tellers and stupid shit like that but they actually seem to believe them. Along with the idea that someone thinking ill of you can actually cause you to have bad luck and other dumb shit. Not sure if you read what I posted about the wife's uncle divorcing her aunt awhile back.
 
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Araysar

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TJT said:
My wife's mom was an eye surgeon in Ukraine for like 15 years. She's been a pediatrician for the past decade or so. I just think that because of this she has very specific expectations on how medicine should be practiced and she gets pissed as American medical professionals simply don't do a lot of the shit she's used to.

Wife had blood drawn the other day and spent like 10 minutes telling me that the way American phlebotomists do it is wrong and stupid. Which I completely ignored because they did successfully get her blood so whatever.

The only very large cultural difference I've noticed is like I've said. She has very clear expectations of what men are supposed to do and what women are supposed to do. She gets mega pissed at even the suggestion she should help with something in the man category. No matter how small it is. Although I've been meaning to ask.

Araysar Araysar is the mainstream belief in what I can only describe as, "dumb gypsy magic" equally as prevalent in Russia? Seemingly everyone I have ever met in Ukrainian society adheres to it at some level. I had thought they just enjoyed fortune tellers and stupid shit like that but they actually seem to believe them. Along with the idea that someone thinking ill of you can actually cause you to have bad luck and other dumb shit. Not sure if you read what I posted about the wife's uncle divorcing her aunt awhile back.
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No I havent read what you posted about wife's uncle but dumb gypsy magic is definitely real in former USSR.

I remember my mom (who has a masters degree) dragging me to some group healer seance bullshit similar go Kashpirovsky (look him up), hoping they would correct my vision. This was in late 80s in USSR.

She sends me emails about "alternative medicine" to this day
 
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TJT

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Araysar said:
No I havent read what you posted about wife's uncle but dumb gypsy magic is definitely real in former USSR.

I remember my mom (who has a masters degree) dragging me to some group healer seance bullshit similar go Kashpirovsky (look him up), hoping they would correct my vision. This was in late 80s in USSR.

She sends me emails about "alternative medicine" to this day
Click to expand...

Enjoy

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I can do a similar thing with my ears, and most people also have no idea what I'm talking about. I can't do that with my nose, but...then I can just breathe from my mouth to not smell things.... Yeah. Feels like I'm moving s flap over the nasal passages. Id think the ears are a super power
www.firesofheaven.org www.firesofheaven.org

Her uncle remarried a woman who is one of these gypsy healers by the way. Wife refers to it as, "white magic" or something at times.
 
Araysar

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TJT said:
Enjoy

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I can do a similar thing with my ears, and most people also have no idea what I'm talking about. I can't do that with my nose, but...then I can just breathe from my mouth to not smell things.... Yeah. Feels like I'm moving s flap over the nasal passages. Id think the ears are a super power
www.firesofheaven.org www.firesofheaven.org

Her uncle remarried a woman who is one of these gypsy healers by the way. Wife refers to it as, "white magic" or something at times.
Click to expand...

Lmao.

Ive heard of the blood magic stuff, never knew anyone who dabbled in it. I come from the more.... *civilized* part of the former USSR. No gypsy blood magic. Instead just straight up paganism.
 
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TJT

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Araysar said:
Lmao.

Ive heard of the blood magic stuff, never knew anyone who dabbled in it. I come from the more.... *civilized* part of the former USSR. No gypsy blood magic. Instead just straight up paganism.
Click to expand...

This was in Odessa and the uncle is a multimillionaire owner of multiple engineering/manufacturing firms that deal with the shipping industry in the Black Sea.

As far as Ukraine goes they're at the other end compared to backwoods rednecks I'd say.
 
Araysar

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TJT said:
This was in Odessa and the uncle is a multimillionaire owner of multiple engineering/manufacturing firms that deal with the shipping industry in the Black Sea.

As far as Ukraine goes they're at the other end compared to backwoods rednecks I'd say.
Click to expand...

Odessa, Moldavia and Southeast Ukraine are all about that stuff. I spent 5 summers in Ukraine on the Danube river in late 80s, in that area. Odessa was where I transferred from plane to train each time to ride south to the Romanian border.

A lot of of this gypsy blood magic came over the centuries from the actual gypsies in Romania, etc. Theres vampire bullshit that ties into it too, look up "vurdalak".
 
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