and I do appreciate this medium for how much I shitpost around on FOH. Never thought a forum would be beneficial but here I am.
This is going to sound harsh but I want you to read every word. I have a really good friend who had what looked like a perfect marriage and now they are in the middle of an ugly divorce where his soon to be ex (who was my good friend) is pulling out shit like physical and emotional abuse claims just so that she can get full custody and move two states away to be near her parents.
DO NOT GIVE UP ANY INFORMATION OR GIVE AWAY ANY ADVANTAGE UNLESS IT IS RECIPROCATED BY HER SIDE IN WRITING. She makes more? You say that she doesn't owe you spousal support...if you keep the house and the kids go to school there. You get the best deal for your kids while protecting yourself. Gavinmad is right about family court being tilted towards women; but that is changing and you have many things in your favor (she makes more, proof of her having the affair). Do not ever mention the drugs or drinking around her ever again and if she brings it up you tell her you don't know what she's talking about. Once you split you better have hard times that the kids are picked up and dropped off; don't try and change the schedule unless it is you getting extra time with them. You document every time that she 'pawns' the kids off on you when it is her time because that makes you look like a better father. Also, no calling or texting her for any reason outside discussion of kids. No talking about how you want her back and miss her; those come across as harassment.
I'm going to say this again so you hopefully listen: Do not give up any advantage trying to be nice because the legal system doesn't give a shit about nice. It is a give/take battle between sides where nothing is final until it is in writing, signed, and approved by the judge.
Again, my friend is an amazing dad and was a great husband; there was not much room for his wife to trade up and she is still doing it and putting him through hell because the minute they are not a couple anymore her lawyer told her he was the enemy, she agreed, and it was no holds barred.
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