Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Unless you're fucking 5'8'', just lie. Chicks are spatially dumb as fuck. I've had chicks think my dick is huge and it definitely fucking ain't.
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Burnem Wizfyre
Log Wizard
- 12,321
- 21,400
She could have just not been a whore and never ran across a large penis and you were the biggest she had ever seen.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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I had one of those. I'm 6'3 and doing alright in that department. Dated this gal who was like 5'3" and had only been with her husband, who she said was not real big.
Took fucking FOREVER to get her naked, so I believe her. Finally get around to getting down to business and she no shit pulls one of those you only see in porno shocked faces and goes "what the fuck."
Highlight of my life. I can die a happy man now. I don't even care if she was lying...at least sell it for my benefit!
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Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
- 19,237
- 15,628
No, she was definitely a fucking whore. 90% of the women I've been with have been mega sluts, since that tends to be "my type".
I've had multiple women say it and not just in a "you're so huge!", in the moment type of way either. Women have horrible spatial awareness, it's well documented in research. It's why they are so bad at judging distance, height, dick size, etc. In fact, I'm pretty sure there have been studies showing that they think "average" penis size is somewhere around 7 inches.
McQueen
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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- 5,777
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Yes, and if I hid the whiskey, which was hers then that might set her off again. So best to hide the soda, which I bought.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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- 14,006
One of the reasons women put height requirements in their dating profiles or mention height as much as they do is because so many men lie about it. In the dating world.... women know. You aren't gonna fool anyone and are just setting yourself up for bad dates if you lie.
Women take those downward angle side shots to try to lie about their weight. Men lie about their height. That's the dating world.
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
- 46,390
- 98,578
Setting her up for the big reveal of being a Trump voter. Creeping her facebook page shes a dyed in the wool liberal.
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Borzak
Bronze Baron of the Realm
- 25,443
- 33,205
Just take pics from a low angle with something in it for scale to make yourself look taller. Much like holding fish at arms length in fishing pictures to make them look larger, not that I've ever done that....
Of course my girlfriend now is 4'10. To her someone tall is good for reaching shit on the top shelf lol, the advantages of being old.
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
- 19,237
- 15,628
They don't though, that's my whole point. I'm 5'11 and used to put 6'1 in my profile simply because it led to more matches. Back when I was on dating apps from 2013-2016, I had at least 150 first dates during that time and not a single woman called me on it, even the chick who was 5'10.
Sure, if you're a fucking manlet and put 6'2 they're probably going to know, but if you're close...lie. Chicks are spatially retarded and will never know unless you tell them. Online dating is all about getting them to the first date. As long as your personality doesn't suck, that was literally the most difficult part in my experience. I banged almost 75% of the chicks I got to a first date with (not necessarily on the first date always, but eventually).
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Ishad
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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I once had a girl tell me I had the biggest cock she had ever seen, and immediately followed that statement with “but I’ve only dated Asians”. What a rollercoaster of emotion that was.
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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Don't. Just use the absurdity of the world and common sense positions to turn HER into a nazi. Way more fun. It's been awesome watching my GF go from "orange man bad" to "you need to buy more guns"
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 27,231
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Women need a man to straighten them out. Don't be scared off by shit like this.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,938
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There's a difference between women that need straightening out, and lost causes.
Anyone who discussed politics in any way on a dating site was a hard pass for me. Tell me about YOU, I don't give a fuck about Orange Man or Sleepy Joe.
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