Cad
scientia potentia est
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Just because you are a complete faggot, doesn't mean we all are. Some people have friends.
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Fucker
Log Wizard
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Fucker
Log Wizard
- 12,636
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GuardianX
Perpetually Pessimistic
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chthonic-anemos
bitchute.com/video/EvyOjOORbg5l/
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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If you read his first post, apparently there is guilt sex. She banged like a bunny after cheating before he caught her for a weekend at one point. The core issue remains, though. She basically deep down feels it is ok to cheat on him via sexting at least and clearly knows this is wrong, as evidenced by her keeping it on the downlow. And Guardian is willing to violate her privacy to confirm his suspicions, but not willing to cut bait on a repeating cheater. He has this mistaken idea that he can somehow fix her "this time" because he thinks a home where parents have zero trust of each other is some how better for his kids than being separated.
Without getting too political here, I noticed he has pro vax virtue signaling in his sig. This tells me he is the kind to double down on a bad bet rather than accept the obvious, own up to having made a mistake, and moving past it. This all suggests a pattern of trying to make things conform to how he wants them to be, rather than how they rather obviously are. And it is a sunken cost fallacy situation. And I sympathize. Dude has ten years plus in with this and a couple kids. It is not easy to walk with that investment. But the moment you make the choice that you can't, you are now a prisoner with zero leverage just as Voyce noted.
Thing for me is this. This is not random physical cheating, one and done. This is emotional cheating, with her having personal conversations with these wasteoids over a prolonged period of time while supposedly in a committed relationship. Personally, I consider her fingerblasting herself to some dirty chat with some dude she never sees again as not nearly as bad as developing emotional romantic shit with another dude. Neither are ideal, but one represents a momentary lapse of judgement and the other represents something much much worse.
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Alex
Still a Music Elitist
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Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
- 28,432
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The problem is he has the 'page #' listed in the link and if you're on a different post-per-page count, it doesn't work. If you just put the post#, it goes to the post, regardless of your personal settings.
Like this: https://www.firesofheaven.org/threads/politics-thread.7113/post-3821150
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Zaara
I'm With HER ♀
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Sounds like she lives in a fantasy world she attempts to operate in tandem with her real one. She attempted to bring the two of them into overlap by making you aware of it.
She wishes for a life where she is interesting, desirable, an object of emotional and physical objectification. She cannot have this as a friendless housewife with children and a husband, and clearly she is not ready or willing to release that desire and accept her life for what it is (and, by that extension, move to work and alleviate a situation that causes her pain, distress, and the sensation of being unfulfilled.) You may have filled her needs at some point in the marriage but you no longer do. I'm not saying that to be cruel, that is just the fact of the matter. If this was a one-and-done thing I wouldn't be so quick to say so, but according to you she repeats this cycle with just about any emotionally- and physically-available male she comes into contact with. She's desperate for any shot of dopamine she can get. With this last one she got so tangled up with her desires that she allowed them to spill over in reality. This is not the act of a rational person. This is the act of a sad and desperate individual who has confused the fulfillment of her desires with 'happiness.' An underfed ego can be monstrous.
We (read: women, or the majority of them) are much more likely than men to justify an emotional infidelity than a physical one. It's a question of what she has versus what she thinks she deserves. The fact that there has been no physical pay-off (up 'til this point) made it easier for her to rationalize. She simultaneously believes it to be real and unreal, because of the muffling layer of the medium in which she practices her infidelities. In a moment of weakness she made a desperate attempt to realize a figment of her desire, at the expense of your mental well-being and pride as a man.
She's too far gone in her own hell, man. I've met women like her before a dozen times over. I've befriended some and became close with one who was in a circumstance much like yours. She gamed the system to become dependent on another person, then turned around and started fucking around on him on the side, mostly through the internet, because it's what she thought she deserved. A 6 on the internet with big cans? There was no shortage of male attention when she went looking for it, and never once did she consider the fact she was fucking around with complete losers. Their paychecks and bullshit loser lifestyles and even their looks and age didn't matter too much, because they weren't the men who kept a roof over her head. In her mind she distilled them all down to their singular purpose- a source of male attention that made her feel better about herself. She wanted to be hot. She wanted to be something people wanted. She wanted to be cool and interesting and sexy and would lie out of her fucking ass to get the feeling she was those things, because again, in a certain way it was both real and unreal. But even that wasn't enough, naturally. You can only fingerblast yourself at the behest of another for so long before you start realizing its all just masturbation with extra steps.
This is an extreme example. But have you ever thought about the life your wife would be leading if she had no rules, no fetters, no obligation to YOUR well-being?
Love her as you please, man, but understand your wife has turned into a black hole filled with nothing but self-made frustration, self-loathing, and desperation.
She wishes for a life where she is interesting, desirable, an object of emotional and physical objectification. She cannot have this as a friendless housewife with children and a husband, and clearly she is not ready or willing to release that desire and accept her life for what it is (and, by that extension, move to work and alleviate a situation that causes her pain, distress, and the sensation of being unfulfilled.) You may have filled her needs at some point in the marriage but you no longer do. I'm not saying that to be cruel, that is just the fact of the matter. If this was a one-and-done thing I wouldn't be so quick to say so, but according to you she repeats this cycle with just about any emotionally- and physically-available male she comes into contact with. She's desperate for any shot of dopamine she can get. With this last one she got so tangled up with her desires that she allowed them to spill over in reality. This is not the act of a rational person. This is the act of a sad and desperate individual who has confused the fulfillment of her desires with 'happiness.' An underfed ego can be monstrous.
We (read: women, or the majority of them) are much more likely than men to justify an emotional infidelity than a physical one. It's a question of what she has versus what she thinks she deserves. The fact that there has been no physical pay-off (up 'til this point) made it easier for her to rationalize. She simultaneously believes it to be real and unreal, because of the muffling layer of the medium in which she practices her infidelities. In a moment of weakness she made a desperate attempt to realize a figment of her desire, at the expense of your mental well-being and pride as a man.
She's too far gone in her own hell, man. I've met women like her before a dozen times over. I've befriended some and became close with one who was in a circumstance much like yours. She gamed the system to become dependent on another person, then turned around and started fucking around on him on the side, mostly through the internet, because it's what she thought she deserved. A 6 on the internet with big cans? There was no shortage of male attention when she went looking for it, and never once did she consider the fact she was fucking around with complete losers. Their paychecks and bullshit loser lifestyles and even their looks and age didn't matter too much, because they weren't the men who kept a roof over her head. In her mind she distilled them all down to their singular purpose- a source of male attention that made her feel better about herself. She wanted to be hot. She wanted to be something people wanted. She wanted to be cool and interesting and sexy and would lie out of her fucking ass to get the feeling she was those things, because again, in a certain way it was both real and unreal. But even that wasn't enough, naturally. You can only fingerblast yourself at the behest of another for so long before you start realizing its all just masturbation with extra steps.
This is an extreme example. But have you ever thought about the life your wife would be leading if she had no rules, no fetters, no obligation to YOUR well-being?
Love her as you please, man, but understand your wife has turned into a black hole filled with nothing but self-made frustration, self-loathing, and desperation.
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Lanx
<Prior Amod>
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Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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My ex-brother-in-law caught his wife cheating in a similar way. He went to work everyday, and she got a job where she worked from home. One day he comes home and sits down at the computer and there is a minimized photo window. He didn't recognize the icon (super computer illiterate) and clicks it, only to show a pic of his wife topless in their room. He calls my ex-wife and asks if I can come help him with a computer issue and that's its very important. I think he needs help finding a file or something and get hit with "I think my wife is cheating on me.. can you look at the computer and find out?".
So yeah, super easy to find tons of shit hidden by an idiot. She's not met anyone in real life as far as I can tell, all online stuff, but she's talked about it with a couple guys. She was talking to like 9 guys all in all. It looked like that's what she was doing most days instead of her actual job. So, the dude is crying (they had like a 4yr old kid and had been dating since high school - they were mid 20's), and I tell him he can come stay with us. He wants to confront her and make her leave the house, she broke the family she can pay the consequences sort of thing.
Anyway, he confronts her, she breaks down and begs for forgiveness. He ends up giving her and ultimatum. She has to return to in person work, get a flip phone he manages, delete all social media stuff, she can only be on the computer if he is with her, etc. Basically he just went "I can't trust you, I don't know that I ever will again. The only way we stay together is if you cut all this shit out of your life." and she agreed.
That was like... 12 years ago? They are still together. I honestly don't know if she ever got another smartphone or anything, I know she has no Facebook account. She ended up taking up a ton of hobbies that fill her free time, got super into long distance running, and works full time.
It's fucking crazy to me, I would have just been done with the relationship, but they basically changed their situation from a partnership, to a 1950's style man of the house thing, and made it work. No idea if that just made both of their lives worse, or if this was actually for the best.
So that's an option. lol
So yeah, super easy to find tons of shit hidden by an idiot. She's not met anyone in real life as far as I can tell, all online stuff, but she's talked about it with a couple guys. She was talking to like 9 guys all in all. It looked like that's what she was doing most days instead of her actual job. So, the dude is crying (they had like a 4yr old kid and had been dating since high school - they were mid 20's), and I tell him he can come stay with us. He wants to confront her and make her leave the house, she broke the family she can pay the consequences sort of thing.
Anyway, he confronts her, she breaks down and begs for forgiveness. He ends up giving her and ultimatum. She has to return to in person work, get a flip phone he manages, delete all social media stuff, she can only be on the computer if he is with her, etc. Basically he just went "I can't trust you, I don't know that I ever will again. The only way we stay together is if you cut all this shit out of your life." and she agreed.
That was like... 12 years ago? They are still together. I honestly don't know if she ever got another smartphone or anything, I know she has no Facebook account. She ended up taking up a ton of hobbies that fill her free time, got super into long distance running, and works full time.
It's fucking crazy to me, I would have just been done with the relationship, but they basically changed their situation from a partnership, to a 1950's style man of the house thing, and made it work. No idea if that just made both of their lives worse, or if this was actually for the best.
So that's an option. lol
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Tmac
Adventurer
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Thanks for sharing dude. That is quite the train wreck. The amount of pain you must be experiencing…I can’t even imagine. Your wife has totally violated every level of trust in your relationship and that just…must be the most painful thing everrrrrrrrrr.
However, consider this. How healthy you and your wife’s relationship is determines how healthy your kids are going to be.
A wife who cheats on her husband multiple times and doesn’t see a problem with it is going to fuck up her kids. That level of bad boundaries, betrayal, lack of integrity, lying, cheating, etc. doesn’t just vanish when kids show up.
And idk what sort of consequences you’ve put on your wife, but it doesn’t seem like many. A husband who enables his wife is gonna fuck up his kids. That level of bad boundaries doesn’t vanish when kids show up.
Hyper-focusing on your kids bc your relationship w your wife is fucked isn’t going to do them any favors. Focus on your relationship w your wife.
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Tmac
Adventurer
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Sounds like he hit her w some real consequences and laid down the law.
Women love that shit. I’m bad at exercising it myself, but it doesn’t make it less true.
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Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Eh, in my experience, women are all some variation of a child. Some are "older" children than others, but still..
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GuardianX
Perpetually Pessimistic
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I dunno, yall treat Divorce like it's a magic cure all.
As I see it, by at least doing what I want in this, I MAY POSSIBLY avoid alimony + child support and 1/2 the time I already get with my kids.
Never mention the dating pool these days is absolutely shit for people in our demographics unless you wanna try to score a divorcee in your demograpics from a local church and pray she wasn't divorced for that very fucking thing as well.
Paint me one solid win in this situation that doesn't just end with me having more self worth because my self worth is almost directly tied to my kids.
As I see it, by at least doing what I want in this, I MAY POSSIBLY avoid alimony + child support and 1/2 the time I already get with my kids.
Never mention the dating pool these days is absolutely shit for people in our demographics unless you wanna try to score a divorcee in your demograpics from a local church and pray she wasn't divorced for that very fucking thing as well.
Paint me one solid win in this situation that doesn't just end with me having more self worth because my self worth is almost directly tied to my kids.
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