Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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lindz_sl said:
You are missing the point of marriage entirely though. You don't enter into marriage thinking "Can I trust her with my kids,money,property, life". If that IS what you are thinking, that isn't the right person for you. When you find that person, you are looking towards the rest of your life together, not dreading the end of it.
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Well, this is a perfect example of emotion vs pragmatism. Nobody gets married thinking "my husband/wife will cheat on me in 5 years", "she will take my kids and use them as pawns against me one day, "she will shop me into debt", etc. Everybody gets married (I hope) with the thought of living happily ever after. Every man/women honestly *believes* that the person standing at the alter with them is the best thing since sliced bread. Yet the reality is far different; the divorce rate is over 50%, and 70+% of those divorces are initiated by the woman (I'll let someone else comment on why that stat is higher btw). So everybody goes into these marriages thinking YES, I "can trust her with my kids, money, property, life", yet 50% of the time they are woefully wrong. Seems like people should be thinking "Can I trust her with my kids, money, property, etc" a lot more.

I have witnessed the most loving couples degrade into an all out shit-slinging divorce holocaust of epic legal proportions.

Sure, women want their epic Cinderella romance marriage, and a prenup puts a damper on that, but any man who makes significantly more than the darling he plans to marry is a fool to get married without one these days.
 
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Grumpus

Grumpus

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Frenzied Wombat_sl said:
Sure, women want their epic Cinderella romance marriage, and a prenup puts a damper on that, but any man who makes significantly more than the darling he plans to marry is a fool to get married without one these days.
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That is part of the problem. No man can live up to the fairy tales girls grow up watching and reading. And they don't make woman like they used to.
 
chaos

chaos

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Yeah... i haven't met a single woman I would take seriously as a person or a partner who actually goes for that fairy tale shit. If you're not just trolling lindz with that shit, you need to meet some different women.
 
Grumpus

Grumpus

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chaos_sl said:
Yeah... i haven't met a single woman I would take seriously as a person or a partner who actually goes for that fairy tale shit. If you're not just trolling lindz with that shit, you need to meet some different women.
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I don't date woman that are in to that stuff. If during the first couple conversations I find out they are into Twilight or only watch chick flicks I bounce.

I like to think that the right girl for me won't want to get married anyways. Getting married when your kids are in college sounds about right type of thing.
 
chaos

chaos

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Meh, you can't stereotype too much. My wife likes Twilight and Laurell Hamilton books, whatever, she's a girl, she likes girl shit. We also have shared interests and not so shared interests.
 
lindz

lindz

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You think that long term relationships that have children, shared funds, etc can't end the same way? Both people have rights there too regardless of whether or not they actually signed a marriage license.

Anyways, this debate is silly. Trying to argue the merits of marriage with men who think women are the devil on a predominantly male forum doesn't work very well.
 
Grumpus

Grumpus

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lindz_sl said:
Anyways, this debate is silly. Trying to argue the merits of marriage with men who think women are the devil on a predominantly male forum doesn't work very well.
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Where did I say woman are the devil? I said that woman are more emotional and prone to emotional decisions. This doesn't bode well in situations where the law favors woman. Especially where heartache and breakups are concerned.

This debate is interesting and your opinion as a woman is appreciated.
 
lindz

lindz

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I also enjoy chick flicks and other dumb girly shit (altho not that reality crap). I'm also a hardcore gamer who has lead end game raiding guilds.

Just don't date psychotic, vapid cunts and you'll be fine.
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Deathwing

Deathwing

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chaos_sl said:
Heh ok I take back everything I said, those people are fucked.

Although... I remember seeing something about people who didn't live together or have sex prior to marriage having a much lower divorce rate than those who did.
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How much you want to bet most people that don't live together or have sex prior to marriage also strongly believe god doesn't want them to get a divorce?
 
Cad

Cad

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lindz_sl said:
"I promise to love and cherish you until death do us part"

How is that about divorce? :\
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Thats not the contract part.

The contract part is the implicit agreement that you make to divide assets and continuing income in the event of divorce. This contract is implied by law and only overridden by an explicit contract known as a pre-nuptual agreement.
 
Falstaff

Falstaff

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chaos_sl said:
Heh ok I take back everything I said, those people are fucked.

Although... I remember seeing something about people who didn't live together or have sex prior to marriage having a much lower divorce rate than those who did.
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I went to a "christian" college for undergrad. I know plenty of people who didn't have sex or live together before marriage. Their divorce rate is the same as everyone else and the majority of them didn't make it past 2 years.
 
Noodleface

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I'm getting married in August.. at first I was really excited but now she's pulling a lot of the "we're married, I'm going to yell at you all day and withhold sex for months" shit.

For serious, how to fix? It's getting out of hand. I do want to marry her, that is not the question. But her attitude about all this stuff is depressing.
 
Cad

Cad

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Noodleface_sl said:
I'm getting married in August.. at first I was really excited but now she's pulling a lot of the "we're married, I'm going to yell at you all day and withhold sex for months" shit.

For serious, how to fix? It's getting out of hand. I do want to marry her, that is not the question. But her attitude about all this stuff is depressing.
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If its started before you're even married.... what do you want me to tell you, its going to get better?
 
Alex

Alex

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Yeah, Noodleface. It doesn't sound like you're heading into a desirable situation. You think it's bad now?
 
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