Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Tenks_sl said:

This just isn't true anymore in this day. The courts are very 50/50 to the parents these days. My friend at work is going through a divorce because his wife decided she was just done and she's fighting tooth and nail to try and get even partial custody. Outside of just wanting out she didn't even do anything wrong like cheating. They now talk to the children and hear both sides of the story instead of just always defaulting to the mother. He has two daughters and one son and since he was the guy constantly taking them to soccer practice and doing things with them both his daughters are asking for primary custody to the father (his son is only maybe 2 or 3.) And, from the looks of things, it will be granted.

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Your friend is a relatively small sample size in a large pool. On that same token I challenged my Ex for custody, had proof of her leaving my 3 and 6 year old (at the time) home alone for a few hours at a time. Proof of being an alcoholic, not holding down a job and being evicted from her home just a week before our court case.

Nope, I lost. I had a lawyer too, she didn't.

Literally hundreds of millions are made a year on "lawyer for dad" law firms because that shit is a gold mind because it's rare a guy is going to get custody. Does it happen? Sure, but it's no where near 50/50.

I mean, in terms of leaving things out because I've left out about 3 years of details and fighting and attempt after attempt to get them, all of which I basically blogged on FoH about, sure I've left things out.

But those who have read my experiences in the past are fully aware.

Your raging boner you got with trying to call me is appreciated though sir. Anyone from Minnesota can tell you how fucked up it is here for custody and will tell you an area called "The Iron Range" is about 100x's more fucked up with it....and pretty much everything else.

EDIT: right now in Hennepin County (Minneapolis) men who file for primary custody win 30% of the time, this is up from 28% 5 years ago.

Tuco_sl said:

Tarrant is leaving out that he clotheslined the judge off the stand.

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Sadly I did it before hand, it may have been why i lost the first time.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

With all that "evidence" at hand, how did the courts justify her being a better custodian than you? I'm assuming you weren't discovered at any point shooting heroin or driving around in a windowless van wearing a clown-suit, so I'm just curious how they rationalized this custody decision.

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1. home alone for a few hours at a time. --while i had photo proof of her leaving and being away, it was determined i couldn't flat out prove there was no one else in the home with them. I had seen them exit the home to play and go back in, called the police but when they knocked no one would answer.

2. Proof of being an alcoholic -- She entered AA, of which her father was one of the people who was in charge of it in town. It was determined she was seeking help and would get regular reports on her progress. (The area they live in also happens to have the highest alcoholism rate in the state)

3. not holding down a job and being evicted from her home -- She went on state aid and moved in with her family. This also worked in her favor for #2 as they would help her recovery.


Later on down the line before the state made it so their child support debit cards couldn't be used in bars, I also had photos of her using it to pay for drinks at a bar. This was attempt #3 to get my kids and i hired a PI (as I live 4 hours away...which also works against me I'm told) to tail her and see if he could get anything incriminating. I was told in court that if I hired a professional stalker to follow my ex wife again then I would have all custody rights stripped from me and my photos were disregarded. It should also be noted that durung this time all family court was also handled by a civil court judge. (which again, i went into years ago on FoH and beyond this don't really want to rehash multiple years of it)

I realize there are two ends of the spectrum and I am definitely at one end of them with my experiences. All I'm saying s it's not 50/50. The law says it is....but it's not. At least not in Minnesota.

Deathwing_sl said:

They found out that he's a moderator on an internet forum.

To be fair to the stats("50/50"), I think it's faulty to assume all moms and dads are equal.

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Oh, Absolutely.

Khalid, I said in my previous post I realize there are two ends of the spectrum and I realize I'm one one end of it.

Soy, it's much like The Master said. On The Iron Range in northern MN, it's a tight knit small community atmosphere. If you aren't from up there, then go away. (I'm not from up there) Up there it's very much Mother knows best. When custody was first awarded (In MN whoever has them 51% of the time automatically is considered primary physical custody. ) I was told that a mothers love and nurturing side is something every child needs growing up. I've fought for custody 3 times since then. At this point I'll have to wait until my son is 14 and can make the decision himself. He's 11 now and told a judge he doesn't want to live with his mom and was told "tough shit" in a nice way. They wont listen to him until he hits that mark.

It is what it is. It's been an ongoing thing for over 6 years now and will continue to be.

taebin_sl said:

If some place is so retarded to nickname itself "The Iron Range" and you still live there, expect to pay the iron price. Or at least deal with iron retards.

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The United States government gave them that name as they are/were the largest domestic producers of iron ore and taconite. It's home to the worlds largest open pit mine.

And no, I don't live there anymore.