chaos
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I guess what I'm saying is, if I was banging some crazy methwhore my kids would be sitting in their own filth. I don't even know what is happening right now.
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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iannis
Musty Nester
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Onoes taking a 21 year old out for ice cream is so lol. I can't even imagine. That would just be awkward and, probably, very dull. Although it might present opportunities to lay in some barbs that she didn't realize were barbs until later. That could be an interesting challenge. How do I mock this girl in a way which she doesn't feel is mockery and only later comes to understand what I was saying to her? OTOH you never know. It might turn out she is more of an adult. Some of the younguns get it without needing to be told. That would be best case.
Your kids would learn how to fend for themselves Chaos. You gotta toughen them up. Go bang a methwhore. Take one for the team.
Your kids would learn how to fend for themselves Chaos. You gotta toughen them up. Go bang a methwhore. Take one for the team.
I'm not sure being insecure is a negative thing. Everyone is insecure about something. I'm just saying insecurity can cause issues, the most common of which is jealousy, and you can fix jealousy by addressing the insecurity. Not fixing, just addressing, being aware it is there. I'm not confident in my looks for instance. That isn't going to change in all likelihood (even if I have started losing some fat and putting on muscle). So when my wife says another guy looks hot, I get a twinge... but I know the twinge is my insecurity about my looks. I know that. It isn't about her comment or our relationship, both of which are fine. It isn't the insecurity that is bad, it is how you handle it. Jealousy is a bad way of handing it. Unfortunately I think it is also the most common.
Usually if I'm dating someone it starts out pretty separate (though if the girl is bi and sees my wife that never lasts long). Over time though, the activities overlap. Like right now every Saturday we have a "double-date" with my wife, my girlfriend, and the wife's girlfriend. Mostly we have a dinner that I cook, we drink a bit, and play Dominion (plus the obvious). Or we go dancing, I've mentioned it before but I'm a certified ballroom instructor and do pretty much every partner dance (Bachata/Salsa/Kizomba are big in my area, ballroom scene is a little weak). I dunno, juggling schedules is tricky, I just make it work.
Usually if I'm dating someone it starts out pretty separate (though if the girl is bi and sees my wife that never lasts long). Over time though, the activities overlap. Like right now every Saturday we have a "double-date" with my wife, my girlfriend, and the wife's girlfriend. Mostly we have a dinner that I cook, we drink a bit, and play Dominion (plus the obvious). Or we go dancing, I've mentioned it before but I'm a certified ballroom instructor and do pretty much every partner dance (Bachata/Salsa/Kizomba are big in my area, ballroom scene is a little weak). I dunno, juggling schedules is tricky, I just make it work.
iannis
Musty Nester
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With how creepy that shitdoescome off, and it comes off a little bit creepy and always has whether it's you writing it or Heinlein, there's more truth in it than hedonism. It's just something that you can't believe until you experience it I think. I've been lucky enough to have known people in my life where that sort of relationship with them was plausible. But it's rare. It's more than a fuckbuddy. It's true friendship.
The danger is always there. But it's naked and raw with some people. TBH, the experience of it fucking spoiled me. It's just something that happens when you meet a kindred spirit. And I know that sounds mystical. And it is. It's immediate. There's no doubt. It's like a burst of clarity, "Well, I'm really in the shit now. Of course, I've always been in the shit" Those are the ones that I cannot regret. Not don't. Cannot. No matter how they ended, which they obviously did. It is a very difficult path to walk and if either of you stray from it you both lose it. But that's a fair price.
It's very hard for me to imagine bringing children into that situation though. Which is not a judgement. It's just very difficult for me to imagine.
The danger is always there. But it's naked and raw with some people. TBH, the experience of it fucking spoiled me. It's just something that happens when you meet a kindred spirit. And I know that sounds mystical. And it is. It's immediate. There's no doubt. It's like a burst of clarity, "Well, I'm really in the shit now. Of course, I've always been in the shit" Those are the ones that I cannot regret. Not don't. Cannot. No matter how they ended, which they obviously did. It is a very difficult path to walk and if either of you stray from it you both lose it. But that's a fair price.
It's very hard for me to imagine bringing children into that situation though. Which is not a judgement. It's just very difficult for me to imagine.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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My wife and I just don't have that kind of relationship. I cannot imagine ever accepting her with another man, or the guilt I would feel about being with another woman. I don't think there is any "right" way to live, I'm happy when people are happy. I just don't think it is for me and I don't think there is some change or whatever that I could make in my life that would make it ok. Of course that is now, maybe 20-30 years from now we will be dirty swingers or something but I doubt it.
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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I won't ever remarry, but I do like being in a relationship. I'm a huge fan of sex, and all the lovey stuff that comes with it. So when I say prospects, I mean to date / be intimate with.
Fifey
Trakanon Raider
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Sounds like the majority of the time his wife is with another woman, not another man. And as irrational as it is I believe it would be a lot more acceptable, and even exciting, for most men. Especially since he's invited to the party.
In my opinion there are a few reasons why open relationships are just plain harder than monogamous ones.
1) Both parties have to be completely on the same page, and let's be honest how often does that happen between a man and a woman both sexually and emotionally?
2) Being swingers I get, having sex with someone else is understandable. Having two relationships with two different people at the same time? That's nearly impossible for anyone. It takes way too much time and effort and opens the door for all kinds of issues. Regardless of how "ascended" above human emotions you think you are, you're fooling yourself if you think a situation like that is ever completely stable. Especially the way The Master goes about it. Everyone is sleeping with everyone and 4 people are involved in orgies with common frequency. No person on earth can completely separate themselves emotionally from the physical. Because if the sex is devoid of emotion it's lifeless, cold and boring. Lust is the strongest driving factor in desire, and lust gives way to jealousy easier than any other emotion. All it takes is for you to break up with your girlfriend and your wife wanting to remain friends with her after a bad situation.
Anyway, I understand the idea of open relationships and don't begrudge anyone involved in them. But I also understand the idea of monogamous ones. Do whatever works for you. I'd like to try an open relationship just because I want my wife/girlfriend to bring home hot women I can also have sex with, for no effort expended on my part. However, I know I'd fail miserably at it. And I sure as shit would never be able to have a wife AND a girlfriend. One relationship is plenty.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Show your wife this article Ameraves:
Paralysed fireman Darek Fidyka recovers thanks to UK research?* | Daily Mail Online
Paralysed fireman Darek Fidyka recovers thanks to UK research?* | Daily Mail Online
Cad
scientia potentia est
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I think you'd find the two relationships are never equal... one is the normal wife/husband relationship, and the other is more of a casual flirty dating relationship. I don't think most people treat it as two relationships, more of a wife + something on the side type of thing. Which is no different than the massive % of people that cheat, the open people just don't lie about it.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Saw this the other day on Reddit. Very cool shit. I really hope we're close to a sure fix on spinal injuries.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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And what I'm saying is it's naive to think that will always, without fail, work out that way. Even if it's working that way at this moment in time, and has been for the last year, things and people change. I'm not begrudging it, I'm just saying there is always a risk, some people are much better at handling it and keeping everything in perspective than others.
And your last line about people cheating being no different other than lying, don't forget people leave their spouses for their lovers quite frequently. Which is part of my point.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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Thats definitely a risk you take, although if your spouse is going to leave you for a lover or side fling, they're probably going to do it whether you agree to an open relationship or not. So I don't know if there's any correlation there.
Tarrant
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Noodleface
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In theory I feel like I could go through with it until I saw my wife with another man. That makes me greedy, sure, but I'd say most of us would feel the same way.
I'm sure most of us would love to fuck an 18-year old cum slut now and again, but I can't.
I'm sure most of us would love to fuck an 18-year old cum slut now and again, but I can't.
I wouldn't even want my wife to be with another woman. Anytime I'm browsing my favorite website gonewild and there is a MFF party for whatever reason it always looks like it smells funny in the pictures.
