Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
You said you and your ex still talk every day. My closest friends on earth and I don't talk every day. In fact, we probably talk 2-3 times a week, and they live 10 minutes away from me, not halfway around the world. I don't even talk to my girlfriend every day.

See what I'm getting at here?
You and I approach friendship differently?
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Not even via text messages? I'm not sure that even qualifies as a girlfriend then.
Back when I was dating my now-wife we'd go days without talking to one another. What do I have to tell her? I went to work, came home, played video games and then went to sleep. Neither one of us are very needy for interaction for the sake of interaction, though.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Back when I was dating my now-wife we'd go days without talking to one another. What do I have to tell her? I went to work, came home, played video games and then went to sleep. Neither one of us are very needy for interaction for the sake of interaction, though.
I'm a pretty needy dude, if it isn't obvious from my time here, I really like attention.
 

Fifey

Trakanon Raider
2,898
962
Not even via text messages? I'm not sure that even qualifies as a girlfriend then.
Some people are different, me and my girl will not talk to each other for a day pretty regularly, then again I don't give forehead kisses.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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14,006
I make up for the lack of communication with forehead kisses... and anal sex. Sometimes I kiss her forehead during anal sex, ain't that a trick!
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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I'm a pretty needy dude, if it isn't obvious from my time here, I really like attention.
That was kind of exactly the point. Most people here were concentrating on the fact that I don't talk to my gf every day and ignoring the fact that you still talk to your ex-wife who lives half a world away every day.
 

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk
6,918
4,315
Not even via text messages? I'm not sure that even qualifies as a girlfriend then.
Back when I was dating my now-wife we'd go days without talking to one another. What do I have to tell her? I went to work, came home, played video games and then went to sleep. Neither one of us are very needy for interaction for the sake of interaction, though.
This is an interesting question that came up for me recently. What's a normal level of communication when dating and not living together? My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year now, and we don't talk on a daily basis. Apparently she was out to dinner with her family recently and they asked her what I was doing that evening, and she said she hadn't talked to me that day so she didn't know for sure. Her family thought it was bizarre that we didn't speak daily. She asked me about my opinion on it, and I had the same opinion on it as Tenks.
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,433
44,761
Back when I was dating my now-wife we'd go days without talking to one another. What do I have to tell her? I went to work, came home, played video games and then went to sleep. Neither one of us are very needy for interaction for the sake of interaction, though.
Maybe we're confusing "talking" with actual discussion. I don't live with my girlfriend, but I give a 'good morning/good night' text at the very least.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
It's pretty obvious different people view communication differently.

It's completely cool for you guys to go a day or two without any communication.

It sucks ass for me to go 4-5 hours without hearing something. I wish I weren't this way and even when I'm doing shit that keeps me busy or am focusing on my life I'm still wondering what the other person is doing and wanting to talk to them. For instance this weekend I went snowboarding and then took my mom out to dinner. All throughout the day I was wondering what the girl was doing, wanting to talk, etc. That's not only applicable to this relationship either, I've been this way with every girl I've been with. It's a little harder to say with my ex since we lived together for so long, obviously we talked every day. But before we lived together I was definitely this way.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,275
15,106
When me and the wife were just dating and not living together we talked probably 2-3 times per week. I'd call her needy though as she needs to tell me everything about everything and has always been like that. I feel like I can give her a couple of bullet points and that's it. I'm not much of a talker though.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Every single woman I've ever dated was a battle trying to find a balance in communication. I never ignore them but they get concerned when I only respond in simple one liners, in fact it's happening right now with the current gf. I try to communicate more for their sake but it's just something that is a constant issue. They think it means I'm not interested when all it really means is I'm not much of a phone texter/talker.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Maybe we're confusing "talking" with actual discussion. I don't live with my girlfriend, but I give a 'good morning/good night' text at the very least.
I haven't given those kind of text messages since college. Not enough happens in my life that I can't wait a few days to talk to someone about it. Even now that we're married we'll exchange emails a bit more frequently (both of us kind of hate text messaging) but it is mostly about "What do you want for dinner tonight?" or "I'm going to the gym so I'll be late." Or I send her cat videos.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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It's pretty obvious different people view communication differently.

It's completely cool for you guys to go a day or two without any communication.

It sucks ass for me to go 4-5 hours without hearing something. I wish I weren't this way and even when I'm doing shit that keeps me busy or am focusing on my life I'm still wondering what the other person is doing and wanting to talk to them. For instance this weekend I went snowboarding and then took my mom out to dinner. All throughout the day I was wondering what the girl was doing, wanting to talk, etc. That's not only applicable to this relationship either, I've been this way with every girl I've been with. It's a little harder to say with my ex since we lived together for so long, obviously we talked every day. But before we lived together I was definitely this way.
When you had your weekends together with Pitt girl were you still talking to your ex-wife each day you were with Pitt girl or did you take a break because you had another woman to talk to?
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
When you had your weekends together with Pitt girl were you still talking to your ex-wife each day you were with Pitt girl or did you take a break because you had another woman to talk to?
It's not that I had a different girl to talk to, it's just I wasn't at my computer.

The girl I was seeing before Pitt Girl lived near me and we used to hang out a couple times a week, I'd still talk to my ex during that time.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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You'd talk to your ex during down times. Times when the other woman wasn't available to talk to. If you were having a weekend getaway and the new woman was around you'd have no desire/need to talk to your ex.

I'm assuming I'm correct in saying all that.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Not exactly. Conversing with people isn't an exclusive thing, I can carry multiple conversations at once. There are times when I'm talking to my ex on the computer and the girl I'm currently seeing via text. That doesn't happen when I'm physically with someone because it's rude. I don't have a need to talk with my ex, I just enjoy doing it. Just like I enjoy talking with any of my other friends that I talk to when they're around.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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I don't really feel like carrying on this conversation but you're missing the real question I was asking. When you are physically with someone, and getting the attention you need, do you still feel the desire to talk to your ex?
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
I don't really feel like carrying on this conversation but you're missing the real question I was asking. When you are physically with someone, and getting the attention you need, do you still feel the desire to talk to your ex?
Just for the sake of hearing your point I'll say sure.