Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Phazael_sl said:

Yeah just to recap here, Mrs ex Onoes tried to fuck around with one of his friends, then tried to setup some random dicking on the side with her party pal when she got caught doing that. Prior to that she spent a long time getting into shape, which kind of suggests premeditation on the cheating to me, but maybe not, but she did leave him handling everything while getting back in shape. Then after the divorce she convinces Onoes to pay her under the table so she can illegally qualify for low income housing, then blew some local cop in his squad car after withholding the Hummers from him for years. In the present, she is dating a yoga teacher but still has Onoes moving her shit and doing her taxes.

I realize he has to deal with this person because kids, but Jesus everything we have heard about this woman is a giant red flag. And I say again, read the car incident thread over again for better insight to why I cringe at Onoes' oblivious ness.

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I think maybe you're taking the few incidents he has told us about, blowing them up, and putting a specific spin on them. The relationship didn't work out, she stepped out on him. So what? At some point you have to let that anger go.

Ok, so I think I mentioned it on here, in fact I know I did, but I left it pretty vague.

So a couple of weeks ago I went to a 5 day ren fair type camping thing, around 3-4k people there, big thing. On the third night I met a 24 year old girl, very cute, ended up making out with her some, and spending the night with her, but nothing past that. (She was drunk, and I don't fuck drunk girls as a first time, just my rule.) Well, the next day she got sick, so I spent very little time with her, although she wanted me to come sleep in her tent again. I was bummed, but it was my last day there, and I wanted to go party at the various camps, so my plan was just to call it a night with her. Well, around 5 I ran into a girl I knew, who was with another girl I didn't know. The new girl was a 29 year old, who was also very attractive. They wanted me to hang out with them, so I did, and we spent hours walking around and talking. I was immediately way more attracted to this girl, we just seemed to have an insane amount in common.

At around 11 o'clock, the other girl with us lets slip something about the 29 year old's husband. I go "Wait, what? You're married?! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat." and she is quick to talk about how technically she is, but she hasn't been happy in forever. I did a little "Wow, you've had a ton of opportunities to tell me that, I'm pretty sure it was super clear I've been hitting on you for hours and you've just been leading me on? Not cool." and she goes into how she didn't mean to, that she is just having the best night she's had in forever, and she didn't want it to end. So, I tell them, "Well I'm out, there's another girl waiting on me, you two, wasting all my time! Holy crap!" and took off.

So I get to 24's camp and she's in bed already. I knew it would be cool to just climb in her tent, but I was feeling fucking robbed, as 29 seemed just too good to be true. So, I say fuck it and head back to my tent, figuring I'll just crash and call it a loss. I get back to camp and the girls are still there, and they beg me to please keep hanging out with them. So, I do, I'm a bit mopey but I get over it fast and have a good time. At 2 we call it a night and I go to my tent. A few minutes later they are unzipping my tent to tell me their air mattress went flat, and can they have my bed. I say no, but they are welcome to squeeze in if they want, so they do.

All is good for a while, I'm on one side, then 29 in middle, and the other girl on the outside. So, there's some shifting and stuff, people trying to get comfortable without being pressed together. After a bit I hear the other girl start breathing super deeply, but I'm wide awake wishing 29 was single. She turns around all of the sudden and says she can't get comfortable, and we shift a little back and forth, and I ask if she could tolerate my arm straight out under her neck so I'm not elbowing her in the back. She says sure and we end up kind of cuddles with me holding her eventually. I fall asleep. I wake up with her shifting at one point in the night and she was all nuzzled into my chest. I look down and she's looking up at me. I whisper "You have no idea how hard it is not to kiss you right now." and she nods and strains up, so I kiss her. Just once, not long, but something. Then she snuggles back up and we go back to sleep.

The next morning I walk her to her car, and she thanks me for a wonderful night, and says it really gave her a lot to think about in terms of what she is doing with her life, etc. She tells me she wants to be my friend, we swap info, I hug her goodbye and she goes to kiss me, but I backed up and said "Last night was awesome, and you seem perfect, but I don't want to be that guy. I'm not interested in having an affair with a married lady. If things change in the future, I'd love to get to know you better, but for now, friends is it."

I leave, and the 24 girl starts texting me how bummed she is we didn't get to hang out more, and how we should meet up and see where this goes, etc. (Ohh, both girls live 3 hours away, in opposite directions). I start talking to 24 girl more. As much as I super connected with 29, 24 was really cute and nice, so I figure no reason not to see what happens there. After a couple of days, 24 is sending me naked photo's and telling me how she just loves to pleasure a man, and we should meet up in vegas and just spend the whole weekend in a room fucking and sucking each other. She's open to anything, etc etc. So, I'm pretty thrilled about that.

Cue 29 calling me. She did a lot of thinking about her life and happiness the days following our encounter, and decided to sit down with her husband and talk. She was shocked to find that he was completely on board. He met a girl online (Playing a video game) about 5 months ago, and they've been talking and playing a game together ever since. He was married and she was married, so while there was a lot of flirting nothing went on. As they opened up more and more to each other, they decided they wanted to be together. The woman left her husband in January and has been wanting him to move out to CA to be with her. He's been dragging his feet, not knowing how to broach the subject, not wanting to hurt his wife, hoping that if he just withdrew and became distant she would leave him. He apologized and said he's been acting horribly for the last few months because he was afraid to confront her, to hurt her, etc.

So, they are getting divorced. Over the last week I've Skyped with her for around 3 hours a night, and we've been texting each other like crazy during the day. For the first week I was still heavily talking to 24 as well... but I've tapered that off almost entirely.

So, I have two options, or had two options as I'm pretty set on the one. I had a 24 year old girl who I don't have anything in common with and seems pretty immature for her age even, but is a total sex fiend who wants us to have a very casual, meet up a couple weekends a month for sex marathon type situation. And then I have a currently married but starting the process of divorce 29 year old, who is graduating in a few weeks with her MBA, who I seem to have a ton in common with, but doesn't seem very sexual (at least from what I've been able to tell) who is totally into me and talking about wanting a serious relationship with me. Which, as much as 24 sounds like a fantastic fun weekend.... 29 is just, seriously fantastic. Ohh, and you'll like that she totally thought my hair was some renaissance fair temp thing, and wanted an explanation when she realized it was the norm, haha, so she's not a crazy person?

That's where I currently find myself.

I'm leaving tomorrow to visit family in Phoenix, where she lives, and we are going to go out to dinner and a movie or something. We're not having sex or anything, but I'm exploring this, and really hopeful.

So, wrecking crew, you're up! TEAR IT ALL DOWN! T_T

Cannot render an opinion without pics.

Is it bad that I sorta want to live Onoes life sans horn?

Bang the 24 year old, option the 29 year old for a relationship/whatever/who knows down the road. It is known.

Post a writeup once you bang the 24 year old out.

I married a gamer wife but she cannot for the fucking life of her understand raids and why I can't reschedule them or "pause" them.

You are all full of terrible advice. That being said, I often do terrible things?

Trust me, 15 years from now you aren't going to look back and think "WOW That was some terrible advice when those guys told me to spit roast that hot 24 year old chick"

And who the hell negged me? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?! God damned ingrates.

Yeah man until you try them both out there's no need to pre-settle on 29, which is what you're essentially doing.

Goddamn right I'm writing myself in, living vicariously through him isn't as much fun without the fanfic.

Onoes_sl said:

Yeah, just to clarify, people keep mentioning my ex being a spoiled princess and fucking me? She's been working since she was 16, as far as I know she's never gone more than a couple of weeks without a job, and that was only when she moved to be with me. She makes like 30k a year, not great, but not awful either. She can handle herself just fine.

As far as her taking me to court and screwing me. What he is referring too is that when we were divorced we requested no child support be given. I am giving her money every month in the amount I was legally supposed to give her anywhere. Every month I write a check out that says "Child support, Jan 2015" etc on it, which she cashes and has available. The reason for this are because when we were getting divorced, she was looking at some apartments that were nice but for people with lower incomes. You couldn't make more than 29k or something (which she was right at) to live there. In addition, she has talked about trying to get financial aid to go to college. So, her having child support inflates those numbers.

I'm sure she could take me to court in 10 years and go "I agreed not to take child support because I was in fear of my life, but now I want all 10 years back pay!" or something. But I would have a copy of every single check, labeled child support. Could I get fucked? Yes. Am I worried about it? No.

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Man, you better hope your ex never gets audited. You think that you are protecting yourself from having to back pay child support (which you're really not) but what is really happening is you are leaving a paper trail to nail her on tax evasion and fraud.

Now go bang the 24 year old before the 29 year old finalizes her divorce.

grumblethorn_sl said:

lol right IRS is heavy pursuing people making 30k a year for tax fraud.

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That seems like a valid reason to leave onoes-self exposed in that manner. Don't forget she is applying for financial aid and low income housing as well.

I write her checks she cashes. There's a trail of it on my end, not hers. Pretty sure it's safe-ish as it can be.