Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Tarrant

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If both parents are employed full time, have joint custody, an equal share of parenting time, authority and an equal share of financial responsibility (daycare costs, medical costs, etc)....what exactly is the grounds for the mom seeking child support and the likelihood of it getting approved? Other than just "because courts buttfuck dad's".

From the courts stand point there’s no such thing as a true 50/50 split when it comes to living situations. The closest I’ve seen is literally 51/49 .

If mom seeks child support and she’s in that 51 side, you’re paying it. If it was reversed, she’d be paying it.

It’s not super common knowledge, but statistically if fathers are in as good of a spot or better in terms of life scenarios, the dad wins out more often on a national scale than the mother, if they truly are fighting for custody.

not saying there aren’t pockets out there that fuck dads over, believe me I’ve seen it. Good luck.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
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There is a particular couple I know who divorced after 20 years of marriage. In that 20 years the wife worked (she's a doctor), the dad did a Ph.D. and stayed home with their three kids. Turns out that for the last 3 or so years of their marriage he had been stepping out. He finally got caught, and was absolutely nonapologetic. His wife kicked him out. She got custody of the kids but he got every other weekend and every other holiday. She had to pay him child support for something like 4 years, and a lot of it. He had been the "home maker" and she was the one with the income.

Just this year he finished a new degree and got a job. Now, because he's employed, he has to pay her child support. He went to court over it a half dozen times, but he's mandated to pay it. And it isn't that much, something like $350 a month. But she is enjoying it immensely. And she deserves it. She was paying him something like $1900 a month for years while he didn't work.

It's the most peculiar case of child support I've ever seen.
 

Onoes

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From the courts stand point there’s no such thing as a true 50/50 split when it comes to living situations. The closest I’ve seen is literally 51/49 .

If mom seeks child support and she’s in that 51 side, you’re paying it. If it was reversed, she’d be paying it.

It’s not super common knowledge, but statistically if fathers are in as good of a spot or better in terms of life scenarios, the dad wins out more often on a national scale than the mother, if they truly are fighting for custody.

not saying there aren’t pockets out there that fuck dads over, believe me I’ve seen it. Good luck.

It's going to vary by state, but here in AZ the child support paperwork has three options - Primarily with Parent 1, Primarily with Parent 2, and Essentially Equal. You fill in Parent 1's yearly income from their primary job, and fill in Parent 2's, and then support is given based on a percentage of the difference to whichever parent makes less.

So lets say Parent 1 makes $5,000 a month, and Parent 2 makes $3,000, the total difference would be $2,000. If custody is set to "Essentially Equal" it's something like 8% per kid, so in this example Parent 1 would owe Parent 2 about $160 a month. Doesn't matter who is the mom or the dad, its all based on income.

Now, if you mark the kid as spending more time with 1 parent, things get WAY more expensive. Say you selected "Primarily with Parent 2", they basically subtract around 60% of that parents income as necessary childcare costs, so the $3,000 Parent 2 makes is now viewed as $1,200. Now instead of basing it on a $2,000 difference, they base it on $3,800 AND instead of the 8% they calculate at something like 25% per kid.

Meaning that $160 a month you are paying at "Essentially Equal" is around $950 a month PER KID if they are primarily with the other parent.

There are other things that go into it (like the child's age, or number of children), and those are rough numbers, but you get the gist.
 

Xarpolis

Life's a Dream
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This makes me rethink my alarm clock actually. I'd wake up every day laughing if my phone called me a fucking faggot.
My wife slept through her alarm for the very first time today. She woke up with my alarm instead, and ended up skipping breakfast and was still 40 min late for work. So tonight she was trying out a bunch of new alarm sounds to make sure she wakes up. And she was choosing some damn annoying ones that were WAY too fucking loud. The problem is that she wakes up at like 4:30am every day, where as I only need to wake up at 6:30am. She's never used an alarm sound before, and just relied on her phone's vibrate alarm to wake her up. But now she wants what amounts to an air raid siren, which I think is crazy. Anyway, to make her realize how silly that sound is, I'm choosing a new alarm sound for myself as well.

My current sound is very soothing. It wakes me up without freaking me out.

The new alarm is going to be this. A quick 4 second burst of this repeating over and over again.

Keep in mind this is a short term alarm, just to make her realize how silly her own alarm is, then it'll go back to my default Homecoming. Good times.

PS - This isn't a divorce post. Just me pointing out something my wife is doing and retaliating like a child to show her the light.
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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My wife slept through her alarm for the very first time today. She woke up with my alarm instead, and ended up skipping breakfast and was still 40 min late for work. So tonight she was trying out a bunch of new alarm sounds to make sure she wakes up. And she was choosing some damn annoying ones that were WAY too fucking loud. The problem is that she wakes up at like 4:30am every day, where as I only need to wake up at 6:30am. She's never used an alarm sound before, and just relied on her phone's vibrate alarm to wake her up. But now she wants what amounts to an air raid siren, which I think is crazy. Anyway, to make her realize how silly that sound is, I'm choosing a new alarm sound for myself as well.

My current sound is very soothing. It wakes me up without freaking me out.

The new alarm is going to be this. A quick 4 second burst of this repeating over and over again.

Keep in mind this is a short term alarm, just to make her realize how silly her own alarm is, then it'll go back to my default Homecoming. Good times.

PS - This isn't a divorce post. Just me pointing out something my wife is doing and retaliating like a child to show her the light.
Get her a sleeping mask with built in headphones. Sync that up to her phone so the alarm can wake her up without waking you up. This may start childish, but after losing 2 hours of sleep a night that is going to change with a quickness.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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My wife slept through her alarm for the very first time today. She woke up with my alarm instead, and ended up skipping breakfast and was still 40 min late for work. So tonight she was trying out a bunch of new alarm sounds to make sure she wakes up. And she was choosing some damn annoying ones that were WAY too fucking loud. The problem is that she wakes up at like 4:30am every day, where as I only need to wake up at 6:30am. She's never used an alarm sound before, and just relied on her phone's vibrate alarm to wake her up. But now she wants what amounts to an air raid siren, which I think is crazy. Anyway, to make her realize how silly that sound is, I'm choosing a new alarm sound for myself as well.

My current sound is very soothing. It wakes me up without freaking me out.

The new alarm is going to be this. A quick 4 second burst of this repeating over and over again.

Keep in mind this is a short term alarm, just to make her realize how silly her own alarm is, then it'll go back to my default Homecoming. Good times.

PS - This isn't a divorce post. Just me pointing out something my wife is doing and retaliating like a child to show her the light.
That’s my wife’s alarm, I don’t wake up to hers and only wake up to mine. After awhile you just adjust to these things.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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Get her a sleeping mask with built in headphones. Sync that up to her phone so the alarm can wake her up without waking you up. This may start childish, but after losing 2 hours of sleep a night that is going to change with a quickness.

Sleeping mask? So we can pretend it's COVID 24h a day? Fuck that.

Can't understand how anyone wears anything on their head to bed.
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Sleeping mask? So we can pretend it's COVID 24h a day? Fuck that.

Can't understand how anyone wears anything on their head to bed.
I have been wearing one for quite a few years because I have to sleep during the day and need the extra light filtering. They are something you can get used to, and they only cover the eyes/ears.
 
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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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I have been wearing one for quite a few years because I have to sleep during the day and need the extra light filtering. They are something you can get used to, and they only cover the eyes/ears.

Blackout curtains homey. Worked overnights for years.

Also, an alarm going off 2 hours before you gotta wake up ain't a bad thing either. Half an hour before you wake up sucks ass, but in 2 hours you can get another sleep cycle in. I've done both, got up earlier than partner and got up later, it's totally fine. Yeah, sucks for a week or 2 until you get used to the pattern, but you can train yourself ignore/go back to sleep pretty easily. It's a short term problem..
 
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moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Blackout curtains homey. Worked overnights for years.

Also, an alarm going off 2 hours before you gotta wake up ain't a bad thing either. Half an hour before you wake up sucks ass, but in 2 hours you can get another sleep cycle in. I've done both, got up earlier than partner and got up later, it's totally fine. Yeah, sucks for a week or 2 until you get used to the pattern, but you can train yourself ignore/go back to sleep pretty easily. It's a short term problem..
I use those too. Having both is much better. I started getting really sensitive to any light a few years ago which is why I added the mask. And now Xarp has multiple options to explore. Go go good team!
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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I use those too. Having both is much better. I started getting really sensitive to any light a few years ago which is why I added the mask. And now Xarp has multiple options to explore. Go go good team!

I just completely broke myself in regards to sleep. I don't need to sleep anymore. I just do it outta habit and convenience!
 

Control

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My wife slept through her alarm for the very first time today. She woke up with my alarm instead, and ended up skipping breakfast and was still 40 min late for work. So tonight she was trying out a bunch of new alarm sounds to make sure she wakes up. And she was choosing some damn annoying ones that were WAY too fucking loud. The problem is that she wakes up at like 4:30am every day, where as I only need to wake up at 6:30am. She's never used an alarm sound before, and just relied on her phone's vibrate alarm to wake her up. But now she wants what amounts to an air raid siren, which I think is crazy. Anyway, to make her realize how silly that sound is, I'm choosing a new alarm sound for myself as well.

My current sound is very soothing. It wakes me up without freaking me out.

The new alarm is going to be this. A quick 4 second burst of this repeating over and over again.

Keep in mind this is a short term alarm, just to make her realize how silly her own alarm is, then it'll go back to my default Homecoming. Good times.

PS - This isn't a divorce post. Just me pointing out something my wife is doing and retaliating like a child to show her the light.
Tell her to keep using her normal alarm but to set the obnoxious one 5 minutes later as a backup. That should mostly fix things, at least until she starts using the first alarm like a snooze button.
 

Aldarion

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People who set alarm clocks, I get it if its like your first year in college or something and you never had to get up early before, otherwise WTF?

You choose to wake up every single day to a sound that specifically chosen to be loud and annoying. On purpose. Over and over. WT actual fuck. Just wake up when its time to wake up, fuck.

Don't get me started on snooze buttons, thats obviously instant divorce or fuck you I never want to see you again if not married.
 
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Bandwagon

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People who set alarm clocks, I get it if its like your first year in college or something and you never had to get up early before, otherwise WTF?

You choose to wake up every single day to a sound that specifically chosen to be loud and annoying. On purpose. Over and over. WT actual fuck. Just wake up when its time to wake up, fuck.

Don't get me started on snooze buttons, thats obviously instant divorce or fuck you I never want to see you again if not married.
Jesus you have some terrible takes. And I'm one of the ones that wake up without an alarm
 
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