Movies That Would Be Made, If You Could Make It Happen

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W

Wrathcaster

Big Trouble in Little China. In Space. Don't call it that though. Just adapt the story and change the names so some fucking jackass producer doesn't get the word "remake" in his head.

Starship freighter pilot Jack Burton has to tag along with his space ninja friend to battle some pan-dimensional horror after his ship gets jacked by cultists in some sort of mix-up and space ninja's girl gets stolen for a host body or some shit. Clueless bullshitting freighter pilot saves the day, gets his space ship back, and flies off into the black with a 40 of whatever passes for futuristic malt liquor.
 

Feanor

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Hearken ye Fires of Heaven, for this tale brought to image would both exhilarate and infuriate thee:

A Silmarillion Synopsis if made on film, condensed with great care into seven equal parts.

BUMP

Beginning as visual abstraction, or a hallucinatory film, turning into an aged and rustic tale; slowly turned into a style, by the sixth installment, familiar to that of The Lord of the Rings.
*taking place quickly, as compared to later parts.




Part I:The Darkening of Valinor
*Music of the Ainur, Iluvatar and Melko and Ea, the Valar and the Maia and the Vision of Arda, Manwe and the wind, Ulmo and the waters, Yavanna and the growing of things, Aule and the earth
*The making of the world, the first war, Tulkas and Melkor, Almaren and the Lamps of the Valar, the Spring of Arda
*Utumno and the Iron Mountains, the feast at Almaren, the destruction of the Lamps, the marring of the world and the end of spring
*Aman and Valinor, the Pelori Mountains, Taniquetil home of Manwe and Varda Elentari, Telperion and Laurelin, the Ring of Doom, the Halls of Mandos and the other Valar, the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves and the foreshowing of the Ents
*Darkness over Middle-earth, the delving of Angband, Melkor's dominion and the hunting of Orome, Varda and the new constellations, Cuivienen and the awakening
*The breeding of Orcs, Orome's discovery of the Eldar, the shaking of the earth, the siege of Utumno and the chaining of Melkor, the Valar's summoning, Ingwe, Finwe and Elwe enter Aman
---The Sundering of the Elves and the Great Journey--- (middle of the movie)
Eldamar and the Calaquendi of Aman, King Thingol and Melian and the Elves of Beleriand
The Dwarves of Nogrod and Belegost, Durin the Deathless and Dwarrowdelf
Finwe, the Silmarils, Feanor and Fingolfin
Morgoth, Ungoliant and the darkening of Valinor
The Oath and the Kinslaying, the burning of ships and the Helcaraxe
Tilion and Arien, their vessels are prepared

Part II:The Flight of the Noldor
Years of the Sun and the Coming of Men
Dagor-nuin-Giliath the Battle under the Stars, Feanor slain by Gothmog and Balrogs, the rising of Moon and Sun, Menegroth in Doriath, the city of Nargothrond, Dagor Aglareb the Glorious Battle, the siege of Angband
The city of Gondolin, Finrod Felagund meets Beor and the first house of the Edain, Glaurung the Great Worm and the Battle of Sudden Flame or the Dagor Bragollach, Sauron's Tol-in-Gaurhoth, the fall of Fingolfin

Part III:The War of the Jewels
Hurin and Huor, Gorlim betrays Barahir, Fingon and Cirdan at Hithlum
Beren and Luthien
The wresting of one Silmaril

Part IV:The Ruin of Doriath
Nirnaeth Arnoediad
Turin Turambar, the fall of Nargothrond and the slaying of Glaurung
The Nauglamir and death of Thingol, the second Kinslaying, the fall of Doriath

Part V:The Voyage of E?rendil
The fall of Gondolin, the third Kinslaying
Earendil the Mariner
The sinking of Beleriand, the end of the age, Maedhros and Maglor's theft of the two remaining Silmarils, Morgoth's expulsion into the Void

Part VI:The Forging of the Rings
Elros Tar-Minyatur and the Numenoreans
Rivendell, Lothlorien, Khazad-dum and Eregion
Celebrimbor and Annatar, the sack of Eregion and the unveiling of Annatar

Part VII:Akallabeth
Middle-earth, the Palantiri and the Isle of Numenor
Ar-Pharazon's fleet sails into the West, the downfall of Westernesse and the changing of the world
The Last Alliance of Elves and Men (ending before the final battle where Isildur defeats Sauron)

And thus spake I,
Amen
 

Chesire_sl

shitlord
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Wasteland
Seeing the neighborhood watch helpful hint sign would be epic

1 . Buy an AK-74
2. If you see someone hanging around your neighborhood . That you do not know, shoot them
 

Jarnin_sl

shitlord
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Not a movie, but I'd like to see the Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson adapted into a television series on HBO. Each book could probably be worked into two 10 episode seasons, and since it's on HBO they could leave in all the sex and drugs and whatnot. When you think about all the shit that's been going on in the world the last 5 years or so, it's more relevant now than when the books came out.
 

McFly

<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
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Hopefully it's already been mentioned, Dragonlance: Chronicles and/or War of the Twins
 

Gamma Rays

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Well someone was going to do it. Just a quick shop, excuse the half-assed effort.

rrr_img_62674.jpg
 

Arden

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Clavell's Shogun. Done right- which means breaking it into two feature length films, using Ken Watanabe as Toranaga, and using a heretofore previously unknown actor as Blackthorne.

Shogun would make one of the most epic movies of all time, without a doubt.

I liked Clavell's Tai-Pan as much as I liked Shogun, but I think Tai-Pan would have to be an HBO miniseries.
 

chaos

Buzzfeed Editor
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Disney just announced they are making The Incredibles 2 so that crosses one off my list.
 

Ebris_sl

shitlord
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Someone mentioned Deadhouse Gates earlier in the thread. I think that could be done best as an anime rather than a live action film. Most of the Malazan Series would probably be better as an anime rather than live action.

I don't think Coltaine's death scene could ever be properly pulled off as live action.
 
W

Wrathcaster

Remake Edition, Part 1:

The Hobbit Trilogy:

1. Give Kili a beard.
2. Remove elf chick.
3. Redo entire Bard arc.
4. ????
5. Profit

Elf chick removal is fairly easy to do, and Desolation of Smaug could stand to lose 50 minutes anyway. See the edit of Star Wars prequels that removed Jar-Jar.
 

Joeboo

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I'd like to see Stephen King's "Eyes of the Dragon" made into a movie. Was easily my favorite King book as a kid/teenager. Pretty sure it was the first(only?) time he had written a traditional fantasy book with wizards, magic, and all that jazz.
 

Arbitrary

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World War Z (documentary style) or The Long Walk.

I really think The Long Walk could be a goddamn amazing movie.