moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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If you raised a son that batters you, yes, you failed at some point as a parent. Not saying she's a bad person, just not a World's Greatest Mom candidate.
My son's friend hit's his mother...Mother kicks son out. Now friend over my house.
- Thread starter Brahma
- Start date
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Brahma
Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
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So this morning I am sending him to football camp with my son. I called the mother and asked if she would mind if her son plays football for the summer. Gave her the lowdown on how he could get hurt etc, (she has health insurance) but it will build up his self esteem, and learn to deal with people socially, man him up a bit. She had no fuckin clue what I was talking about how football would help with those issues.
I will eat the cost of camp. It's only 75 bucks. I told the kid though that it was 500 dollars. The coach will tell him the same thing. I also told the coach what the boy did, and talk to him. I told him he owes me 500 dollars. Poor little kid looked at me like I was a monster. I also told him he will be paying me back this summer. So I expect him at my house every other day. I will make him do the big chores. Like clean the basement and attic. I will at the end of the summer give him a couple hundred bucks or whatever the math comes out to for his chores. I am now breaking child labor laws. Yay me.
I asked him why was he climbing thru the window. He's lost his key several time. His mother also had to have replace the locks each time. Hence he gets no key. He needs to wait for his younger brother to get home to let him in. His brother was still in school. Since he graduated the boys were out earlier. The boy lives closer to school than either my son or the other boy. That's why they went there. Nothing nefarious.
He also will then attend my daughters birthday party today. The other boys mother will then be taking all 3 kids to a local festival in town center. They have a full day.
It's funny. I made him and my son clean the kitchen last night. And very sternly I told them to mop the floor, clean the fridge etc. My son looked at me like I was crazy (Those are not his chores). I then told them both, for the inconvenience and the Chinese food. The boy said he understood. They did a great job. I told them so, and you could tell the boy was happy for even that little bit of approval.
Tomorrow will be the big day. I will drive him thru my old neighborhoods (Roxbury/Mattapan)...while talking to him. Hopefully it will hold more weight. My son needs to see how lucky he is also. So I will take him along too. Sucks that it's Sunday though. Will be a lot less "wild" in the neighborhoods.
I will also tell the mother the choices she has. I will tell her I can't be a permanent solution, but I will tell her my plans and she will hopefully let him come home. If not I will call Social Services as much as it pains me to do so. There we have it. I will do all that is reasonable. If there is another incident, or I see anything to swaying my son to the darkside, I will cut the cord.
I will eat the cost of camp. It's only 75 bucks. I told the kid though that it was 500 dollars. The coach will tell him the same thing. I also told the coach what the boy did, and talk to him. I told him he owes me 500 dollars. Poor little kid looked at me like I was a monster. I also told him he will be paying me back this summer. So I expect him at my house every other day. I will make him do the big chores. Like clean the basement and attic. I will at the end of the summer give him a couple hundred bucks or whatever the math comes out to for his chores. I am now breaking child labor laws. Yay me.
I asked him why was he climbing thru the window. He's lost his key several time. His mother also had to have replace the locks each time. Hence he gets no key. He needs to wait for his younger brother to get home to let him in. His brother was still in school. Since he graduated the boys were out earlier. The boy lives closer to school than either my son or the other boy. That's why they went there. Nothing nefarious.
He also will then attend my daughters birthday party today. The other boys mother will then be taking all 3 kids to a local festival in town center. They have a full day.
It's funny. I made him and my son clean the kitchen last night. And very sternly I told them to mop the floor, clean the fridge etc. My son looked at me like I was crazy (Those are not his chores). I then told them both, for the inconvenience and the Chinese food. The boy said he understood. They did a great job. I told them so, and you could tell the boy was happy for even that little bit of approval.
Tomorrow will be the big day. I will drive him thru my old neighborhoods (Roxbury/Mattapan)...while talking to him. Hopefully it will hold more weight. My son needs to see how lucky he is also. So I will take him along too. Sucks that it's Sunday though. Will be a lot less "wild" in the neighborhoods.
I will also tell the mother the choices she has. I will tell her I can't be a permanent solution, but I will tell her my plans and she will hopefully let him come home. If not I will call Social Services as much as it pains me to do so. There we have it. I will do all that is reasonable. If there is another incident, or I see anything to swaying my son to the darkside, I will cut the cord.
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
- 43,902
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Yeah the people who were vilifying the mother are pretty much all retarded. Bet he has a history of acting violent around the house too. I hope it doesn't come to calling social services, maybe the mother will give him one more chance since you're offering to help a little bit.
I mean he's totally gonna blow that chance, but at least he's getting it.
Srathor
Vyemm Raider
- 1,884
- 3,045
Nothing wrong with Brahma's skills, he asks peoples opinions that he is familiar with (And might even trust some of us) listens to the good advice, discounts the bad advice and jokes, then makes his own decision.
You can't get a more diverse opinion than from around here. Yes it is a wretched hive of scum and villainy but damnit it is our hive too.
You can't get a more diverse opinion than from around here. Yes it is a wretched hive of scum and villainy but damnit it is our hive too.
Gravy
Bronze Squire
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- 454
Vinen
God is dead
- 2,791
- 497
Man, just read through this whole thread and I gotta say Brahma is probably the best human being to post on this forum ever.
Brahma
Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
- 12,649
- 47,210
I already have my mind made up 90% of the time before posting. It never hurts to get a wide variety of opinions from people though. This place (outside Reddit) has the most diverse crowd I can think of that I have access to. On top of that since it is a message board you do get honest answers, with zero fucks given.
The good advice comes from the PM's. You'd be shocked how many people step up to offer sound advice.
Also I should say this. I MIGHT have spent 2 hours total time helping this kid. I might spend a couple hundred bucks. Let's say that is my good deed for the year. I won't miss little bit of cash...and I spent 2 hours playing League last night. When that boy is a grown man, whether good or bad, he might remember someone tried to help him.
The only risk I see is my son getting bad habits. But I trust him. Even if I don't trust him...I can nip that shit in the bud so fast it won't matter.
Lanx
<Prior Amod>
- 65,969
- 150,313
You can't pick your son's friends for him, if you do, you get some fucked up friends and relationships. They're friends one way or another, if a few "listen here boy!", "now go mop that floor!", helps his out, why not.
You're already doing more than most ppl would care to do, hell it makes me think if one of my friends is either a good person or just a greedy fuck. His son and his friends son both goto the same expensive private school, they're best friends. His friend the father lost his job, can't pay mortgage, that whole thing. So he pays for the other kids (expensive) tuition as well. I don't know if he wanted the friend kid to do well or to keep the status quo for his son the same, b/c in the end it still destroyed this family trying to pay off this mortgage(you have to live in that zone), keeping 2 cars around... to drive son there, i don't know if this family either felt obligated to keep the son in the school or they wanted him to have a better education, from an outsiders POV, they would have been better off just moving back into grandma's and starting over there.
But you're basically taking this kid and doing a big brother big sister thing, maybe this pdf will give some guidance?
http://www.bbbslv.org/atf/cf/%7Bdaed...%20COUPLES.PDF
probably also contact your local bbbs(big brother big sister) for advice?
You're already doing more than most ppl would care to do, hell it makes me think if one of my friends is either a good person or just a greedy fuck. His son and his friends son both goto the same expensive private school, they're best friends. His friend the father lost his job, can't pay mortgage, that whole thing. So he pays for the other kids (expensive) tuition as well. I don't know if he wanted the friend kid to do well or to keep the status quo for his son the same, b/c in the end it still destroyed this family trying to pay off this mortgage(you have to live in that zone), keeping 2 cars around... to drive son there, i don't know if this family either felt obligated to keep the son in the school or they wanted him to have a better education, from an outsiders POV, they would have been better off just moving back into grandma's and starting over there.
But you're basically taking this kid and doing a big brother big sister thing, maybe this pdf will give some guidance?
http://www.bbbslv.org/atf/cf/%7Bdaed...%20COUPLES.PDF
probably also contact your local bbbs(big brother big sister) for advice?
Gamma Rays
Large sized member
- 4,019
- 9,606
I think you're doing a great thing.
That kid is at an age where he's capable of doing things, making choices that could affect the rest of his life . . . but is too young to realize it.
Needs a good influence.
That kid is at an age where he's capable of doing things, making choices that could affect the rest of his life . . . but is too young to realize it.
Needs a good influence.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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- 16,206
Bring the kid to brockton one day or hang around Taunton center to give him a nice dose of life.
Springbok
Karen
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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You're in brockton? I mudded with some people from brockton. I think they called it the armpit of massatwoshits. Is it still that nice?
Palum
what Suineg set it to
- 27,224
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Brahma it's not that I don't support what you want to do, clearly you have thought a lot about this. However, there are really two things that concern me. The first is that you've got your own kids. I don't know them so can't say, but Gavin or whomever is right that impression works both ways.
Secondly and more importantly, in this day and age you could go from inspiration to kidnapping child diddler assaultee in one phone call and a media circus. Be careful dude.
Secondly and more importantly, in this day and age you could go from inspiration to kidnapping child diddler assaultee in one phone call and a media circus. Be careful dude.