NFL 2014 - 2015 Season Thread

Araysar

Loser Araysar

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for our resident 49er nut huggers

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: San Francisco 49ers

The city has become a dystopia, a place where rich people literally have their own segregated form of transit, which allows them to look upon the heroin addicts lying in the gutter as if they were figures in a museum diorama. In 20 years, the city will have a floating monorail that costs $100 per ride, and you'll be allowed to spit on the poor as you blow by them. It hasn't just become New York, it has become an alien mutation of New York. The average apartment is the size of a safe deposit box and carries a $5,000 monthly rent. We're five years away from San Francisco being completely depopulated simply because hedge fund managers gobbled up so much real estate as assets and not for actual living quarters. It'll be the anti-matter Detroit. Even Vegas isn't this good at swindling you out of your money. It is the manifestation of every criticism of liberal hypocrisy, like Alice Waters "supporting" local farmers by charging customers $100 for a tomato.
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Alex

Alex

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Just sayin'. The "Why Your Team Sucks" articles are usually better than that.
 
Famm

Famm

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Alex_sl said:
That has nothing to do with the team and the team plays over 40 miles outside of the city.
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I think he knows that too, the quote was out of context.

What's new that sucks: The stadium! Yes, the Niners got a new stadium, known from here on out as the JeanHole, designed specifically for tech assholes and located in an exurb designed to take everything good about California and genericize it into a Indianapolis strip mall area. Your food will never arrive, but at least six guys pitched you on a startup while you sat there waiting. And that is the future of football in San Francisco, which is no longer actually in San Francisco. After the game, you'll be able to take a $200 Uber ride back to your Airbnb rental, where six gangbang orgies were filmed not but two days ago. Also, San Francisco citizens are so used to be it being 55 degrees at all times that going to Santa Clara induces heat stroke:
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Famm

Famm

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Lol, I loved this one:

Worst memory is when my dad scored tickets to Jerry Rice's last home game as a Niner against the Bears. I was excited to see the greatest Wide Receiver of all-time play his last game in red and gold. At the start of the game, we all gave him a standing ovation. Some hippy jackass behind me tells us to sit down because, ''No one should applaud the accomplishment of football players when children are dying all over the world.'' Everyone gave him a sideways glance. Then again when he went out at the end of the game, everyone in the whole stadium gave Jerry another standing ovation. Once again this guy, now yelling, "How dare we as humans celebrate a man when he has done nothing to solve our world problems?'' Someone yelled back, "Why the fuck are you at a football game then?'' To which he replied, "Because I like the garlic fries."
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Sutekh

Sutekh

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People in football stadiums are some of the weirdest mother fuckers I've ever seen in my life. There used to be a guy that sat in-front of us for a couple years, was like 6'5" 280, Albino, and had an extremely high pitched voice. The entire game he would just scream "BREAK HIS FUCKING LEGS! BREAK HIS FUCKING LEGS!" That guy's voice is burned into my brain. I still remember the dude going ballistic whenever Bledsoe went down one game, shit was hilarious.
 
Rod-138

Rod-138

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I once saw a happy go lucky old man dressed up as a pirate, visiting the dome for a buccs saints game. The buccs went up early and he was dancing, screaming rrrrrrrr, and having a good time.

Eventually, a group of West Bank (riff raff from across the river) juicers walked up to him, held him up, and stole his little pirate sword and hat. He put his head down and watched the rest of the game, terrified. We went cheer him up, or tried to, but man, there are some terrible people @ nfl games!

Poor old pirate man
 
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Tenks

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Sutekh_sl said:
People in football stadiums are some of the weirdest mother fuckers I've ever seen in my life. There used to be a guy that sat in-front of us for a couple years, was like 6'5" 280, Albino, and had an extremely high pitched voice. The entire game he would just scream "BREAK HIS FUCKING LEGS! BREAK HIS FUCKING LEGS!" That guy's voice is burned into my brain. I still remember the dude going ballistic whenever Bledsoe went down one game, shit was hilarious.
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I was at a University of Cincinnati vs OSU game at the Bengals stadium and the guy in front of me (OSU fan) kept yelling "Let them play" after every penalty. Even after a false start and 12 men in the huddle foul.
 
Famm

Famm

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Top ten best fanbases.

Basis: Hometown crowd reach, defined as the percentage of the metropolitan area that watched, attended, or listened to a game in the last year.
Three years' worth of television ratings.
Three years of stadium attendance based on the percentage of capacity reached.
Three years of merchandise sales, according to NFLShop.com.
Social media reach, using a combination of Facebook and Twitter followers based on the team's metro population

Starting with #1:

#1 Green Bay Packers - In Photos: The NFL's Best Fans - Forbes
 
T

Tenks

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I still feel they need to make a metric for fans who are the most active based upon how bad the team they're supporting is and has been.
 
Famm

Famm

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Yeah, that would be good to qualify it with a win loss record for most faithful fans. Of course, Dallas did make the list.
 
Axlrose

Axlrose

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Interesting that six of the ten teams mentioned: Baltimore, Chicago, Denver, Green Bay, New England, and Pittsburgh are open stadiums and have been known to host some brutally cold and wicked weather games in the past.
 
Famm

Famm

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Also interesting that they have all been to and/or won superbowls quite recently, plus multiple playoff appearances. Its a lot easier to stomach December wind chill when the team is still in the hunt.
 
Gravel

Gravel

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Tenks_sl said:
I still feel they need to make a metric for fans who are the most active based upon how bad the team they're supporting is and has been.
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I agree.

While Cowboys fans may make the franchise a ton of money, they're pretty disloyal and bandwagony for the most part. A team like the Browns who are an absolute train wreck and still have a massively dedicated fan base deserve to be higher on any list than Dallas. I think using stadium attendance as a factor is kind of flawed here, as generally Cowboys games will be filled with 30-50% opposing team fans.

On the flip side, Steelers fans seem to consitently dominate other teams stadiums. They've got to be the best traveling fan base in the NFL by a long shot.
 
Alex

Alex

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Steelers fans are also fucking everywhere. I probably see a Steelers hat or shirt everyday. And this is in just about every city across the states.
 
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