Parent Thread

Draegan_sl · Dec 16, 2014

Tuco, don't min max it. Your doctor should give you a list of do's and don'ts when it comes to food,the rest it up to you. Personally I avoided all processed food and kept things as natural as possible and organic.

As far as being a good dad, just do what comes naturally. You'll love your kid. Just spend time with him and hold him whenever possible.

Good luck.

Tuco · Dec 17, 2014

Thanks. I'm less worried about min max and more worried about big fuck ups and being led astray by dumb advice people around me give.

Draegan_sl · Dec 17, 2014

There are only three people you should listen to. Your doctor for technical things, your wife and yourself. People will never stop giving you advice. Take it, catalog it, and compare it to your own experience. My daughter is 19 months now and my second is only 2 months away. I'm looking back and I felt the same way, but once your son is here, everything will be much easier. It's just a lot of staying on point and staying awake. The being led astray doesn't even factor in.

The only thing that really scared the fuck out of me was SIDs.

There aren't any big fuckups honestly if you're a level headed person. Make sure the baby is warm all the time. Make sure your house is clean so you or mom doesn't trip on anything. Make sure mom is comfortable and stress free as possible (especially if you plan on breast feeding). Make sure the baby is sleeping on his back and is swaddled properly.

Common sense in my opinion but it's good that you're worried. Helps to keep you alert.

Xarpolis · Dec 17, 2014

ZyyzYzzy_sl said:
My wife bought a play kitchen for the daughter a few months back when it was on sale for Shitmas. Planning on putting it together Shitmas Eve, but every review I have read says it takes 4 + hours to do. I have a feeling I'm going to end up very pissed off.

My mother did the same Kitchen set, I think. I'm rather fluent in assembling things, so let's see how long it takes me.

Kedwyn · Dec 17, 2014

It's a pretty awesome thing and I think for most level headed people that experience it the stuff mostly comes naturally. Little bit of Google and some critical thinking go a long way.

Its beautiful watching your child grow and being their world.

opiate82 · Dec 17, 2014

Agreed. Besides some good friends of ours who had a baby ~8 months before ours I had never been around a baby in my life. So far it has all come pretty naturally to me. I read a couple of books and they did help with some things but as my wife put it, there are lots of baby books out there but there is noTHEbaby book.

lindz · Dec 17, 2014

Need to vent.

So my husband's parents are incredibly wealthy. They like to spoil their grand kids. For the last few days, our entrance has become inundated with boxes from them, like 10 or so big boxes. I opened one of them today to starting putting their gifts under the tree and found it wasn't labelled. So I call my mother-in-law up and let her know that there was no label and if she knew which gifts were for who. She tells me that everything that has arrived so far is for my middle girl and the gifts for the other two girls will arrive Friday. So all these presents that are now outnumbering the gifts that I have purchased for our entire family are JUST for my middle girl and there are more on the way.

Husband and I go light on each other for xmas because to us, its a time for the kids. But we do spoil our girls. So yeah, this makes me feel like absolute shit because grandma gets them double the number of gifts. Our entire tree will be filled with gifts from grandma. When they go to open on Christmas morning, significantly more than half are from grandma. Every year its bad, but this seems to be the worst. My husband shrugs it off, he doesn't like it but he's not going to tell his mom to stop buying them so much. Argh. Likely overreacting, but every year it makes me feel like crap.

Cad · Dec 17, 2014

lindz_sl said:
Need to vent.

So my husband's parents are incredibly wealthy. They like to spoil their grand kids. For the last few days, our entrance has become inundated with boxes from them, like 10 or so big boxes. I opened one of them today to starting putting their gifts under the tree and found it wasn't labelled. So I call my mother-in-law up and let her know that there was no label and if she knew which gifts were for who. She tells me that everything that has arrived so far is for my middle girl and the gifts for the other two girls will arrive Friday. So all these presents that are now outnumbering the gifts that I have purchased for our entire family are JUST for my middle girl and there are more on the way.

Husband and I go light on each other for xmas because to us, its a time for the kids. But we do spoil our girls. So yeah, this makes me feel like absolute shit because grandma gets them double the number of gifts. Our entire tree will be filled with gifts from grandma. When they go to open on Christmas morning, significantly more than half are from grandma. Every year its bad, but this seems to be the worst. My husband shrugs it off, he doesn't like it but he's not going to tell his mom to stop buying them so much. Argh. Likely overreacting, but every year it makes me feel like crap.

Your kids don't care who gets them gifts, you shouldn't either. Your worth as a mother and parent come from your efforts and love and guidance not from the # of presents or the value of said presents.

opiate82 · Dec 17, 2014

Meh, Grandparents are supposed to spoil their Grandchildren. If it makes your kids happy, and it makes your in-laws happy to do it, I don't see any reason for you to be unhappy about it, unless you don't approve of what they are getting them like for example they get them an Xbox when you have specifically told them you don't want your kids sitting around playing video games. Outside of that situation I would call it overreacting.

lindz · Dec 17, 2014

You guys are both right. I guess it's just that feeling that I can't provide for them in the same way. Obviously silly, just an insecurity.

Joeboo · Dec 17, 2014

Mark 3/4 of them as "from Santa"

Like mentioned above, a kid wont remember who got them what when it's all said and done and they have a mountain of new toys in their room. As a kid, about the only time I remembered who bought me what toy/present was on something significantly large, like a computer or my first Atari or Nintendo. All the random toys were just a jumble.

Lendarios · Dec 17, 2014

lindz_sl said:
Need to vent.

So my husband's parents are incredibly wealthy. They like to spoil their grand kids. For the last few days, our entrance has become inundated with boxes from them, like 10 or so big boxes. I opened one of them today to starting putting their gifts under the tree and found it wasn't labelled. So I call my mother-in-law up and let her know that there was no label and if she knew which gifts were for who. She tells me that everything that has arrived so far is for my middle girl and the gifts for the other two girls will arrive Friday. So all these presents that are now outnumbering the gifts that I have purchased for our entire family are JUST for my middle girl and there are more on the way.

Husband and I go light on each other for xmas because to us, its a time for the kids. But we do spoil our girls. So yeah, this makes me feel like absolute shit because grandma gets them double the number of gifts. Our entire tree will be filled with gifts from grandma. When they go to open on Christmas morning, significantly more than half are from grandma. Every year its bad, but this seems to be the worst. My husband shrugs it off, he doesn't like it but he's not going to tell his mom to stop buying them so much. Argh. Likely overreacting, but every year it makes me feel like crap.

I don't understand your problem.

lindz · Dec 17, 2014

Insecure girl moment. Just ignore.

lurkingdirk · Dec 17, 2014

Not at all. Grandparents need to recognize boundaries. In my opinion, they're overstepping the boundaries. They should be okaying gift lists for your children with you.

chaos · Dec 17, 2014

Take the labels off of the ones that do have them, Christmas morning its all "LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT OMG YOU ARE SUCH GOOD KIDS!"

Yeah, as a man I should probably be sensitive to that but I'm not, my in-laws can buy my kids whatever they want, do it up.Less out of my pocket and the kids still have a great Christmas, win/win.

Woefully Inept · Dec 17, 2014

joeboo_sl said:
Mark 3/4 of them as "from Santa"

I lived with my grandparents since I was like 6 and every Christmas they would put gifts out from them and from Santa, Rudolph, Frost, etc. And even as we got older they'd keep doing it and it became a nice tradition for my brother and I while we were in the gift getting age range. So use all the gifts to your advantage.

iannis · Dec 17, 2014

Yeah, they're right.

Just look at that big pile of presents and visually try to graph out how much of that is weekly groceries, mortgage, clothing, and sundries.

Maybe they're packin' the room so full that you can't walk into it. But maybe that's not the point. And you'll probably do it for your grandkids too cause you can't take it with you.

BrutulTM · Dec 17, 2014

Kids getting tons of toys in one day is not good for them anyway. There is no way that they can process that and they would probably be happier with 2 or 3 thoughtful items than a toy avalanche that they can't even play with all of. I don't think you're being insecure or silly, I would be mad about that as well if it came from my parents or my in-laws.

Xarpolis · Dec 17, 2014

There's a guy on the radio that talked about this very same thing the other day. He has a room in his house that's dedicated to unopened toy packages that people have purchased his kids. Throughout the year, he'll randomly break a few items out for the kids to use, the rest ultimately end up in the trash and/or toys for tots.

Maybe something like that would work for you. Granted, this dude lives in a smaller house, so he doesn't have a ton of room for toys all over, but it's a functional idea at least.
I've already adopted another of his ideas. If you see your kids no longer playing with something, hide it from them. If a few weeks go by and they never bring up where that toy is, it's time for the trash.

Toys are nice and all, but too many is absolutely a bad thing. My daughter has "some" toys. Yes, we could afford a lot more for her, but she's content with what she has. She really likes these small Disney dolls that she has adventures with. Also likes playdoh, micromachines (tiny cars), crayons and markers. The rest of her toys can pretty much be put in the trash at this point, but she has such a small number right now that it isn't a concern.

Tuco · Dec 18, 2014

Those are two really good ideas. Im kind of dreading having too many toys laying around.

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