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Noodleface · May 18, 2016

Well the miscarriage has been confirmed. We had a glimmer of hope the other day when her blood levels were double what they were in the ER but today there is nothing there. We (well, I did.. she said she has..) have already come to terms with it a week or so ago. Just kind of shitty we had to wait so long to find out.

Joeboo · May 18, 2016

radditsu_sl said:
You let them touch the things, you let them touch it, examine it, and they get bored and move on.

Yep, that is the route we took. From crawling to age 2 we'd set our ottoman in front of the staircase downstairs from the main level of our house, but that was about it. We didn't bother gating anything else off. We'd also keep bathroom doors closed, and bought little covers for the electrical outlets. Once he could reasonably deal with stairs around age 2 we removed the ottoman/block.

The only thing we've really had broken was 1 lamp when he decided he wanted to climb up on an end table, but that's not bad for 2+ years of mobility(he's 3 now)

Crone · May 18, 2016

Noodleface_sl said:
Well the miscarriage has been confirmed. We had a glimmer of hope the other day when her blood levels were double what they were in the ER but today there is nothing there. We (well, I did.. she said she has..) have already come to terms with it a week or so ago. Just kind of shitty we had to wait so long to find out.

Sorry to hear that Noodle.

Dandai · May 18, 2016

joeboo_sl said:
Yep, that is the route we took. From crawling to age 2 we'd set our ottoman in front of the staircase downstairs from the main level of our house, but that was about it. We didn't bother gating anything else off. We'd also keep bathroom doors closed, and bought little covers for the electrical outlets. Once he could reasonably deal with stairs around age 2 we removed the ottoman/block.

The only thing we've really had broken was 1 lamp when he decided he wanted to climb up on an end table, but that's not bad for 2+ years of mobility(he's 3 now)

Nice. I think we could've gotten away with that with our son. Our daughter on the other hand is the avatar of chaos and destruction. She's like a fucking cat; she'll knock shit off a table just to see how it lands, stare at you while doing something you've previously asked her not to do, etc.

At a year old she would start to play with something that she assumed we wouldn't want her to mess with and startle when a sudden noise happened (like she was caught). Not long after she started doing that she mixed it up by looking me right in the eyes and smiling the sweetest, innocent smile (while slowly moving her hands away from her prize). It's fucking hilarious to be honest.

It seems like she has a strong need to feel like she's breaking the rules or getting away with something so I'll set up situations for her to feel mischievous (even though what she's doing is innocuous). That's really helped to curb her undesired behavior and outbursts.

Dandai · May 18, 2016

Noodleface_sl said:
Well the miscarriage has been confirmed. We had a glimmer of hope the other day when her blood levels were double what they were in the ER but today there is nothing there. We (well, I did.. she said she has..) have already come to terms with it a week or so ago. Just kind of shitty we had to wait so long to find out.

I can only imagine how you and your wife must feel. I'm really sorry man.

Noodleface · May 18, 2016

Thanks. I told her to call into work but she still wanted to go.

I think being a dude and it being early on it is a bit easier for me to handle. I did read an article this morning that had a NICU nurse holding a newly deceased newborn, might have been one of those shitty facebook posts and I got pretty sad reading it.

lurkingdirk · May 18, 2016

Noodleface_sl said:
Thanks. I told her to call into work but she still wanted to go.

I think being a dude and it being early on it is a bit easier for me to handle. I did read an article this morning that had a NICU nurse holding a newly deceased newborn, might have been one of those shitty facebook posts and I got pretty sad reading it.

Don't deny yourself a mourning period. It might be easier for you than it is for your wife in some ways, but you're feeling your own pain as well as your concern for her. I hope you have good friends you can talk to and spend some time with.

Dandai · May 18, 2016

lurkingdirk_sl said:
Don't deny yourself a mourning period. It might be easier for you than it is for your wife in some ways, but you're feeling your own pain as well as your concern for her. I hope you have good friends you can talk to and spend some time with.

So much this. It's easy to dismiss your feelings because you see your wife suffering and tell yourself that she's taking it much harder than you. You want to be strong, available, and supportive for your wife, but the best way to do that is to make your own peace first. I fucking hate Facebook wisdom, but I think this one is really powerful and brilliantly succinct: "Put on your own oxygen mask first."

chaos · May 19, 2016

So my daughter lost another 3 lbs. That's 5 lbs in 2 months. The dr put her on periactin to stimulate her appetite. idk, it didn't work tonight. We'll see, we're trying pediasure and just encouraging her to eat as much as possible. If she keeps losing weight the dr said that we may move on to more drastic steps, as this could start to stunt her growth an brain development. She's 5, within a year she's gone from being chubby and constantly eating to super skinny, like crackhead skinny, and we have to make her eat.

lurkingdirk · May 19, 2016

chaos_sl said:
So my daughter lost another 3 lbs. That's 5 lbs in 2 months. The dr put her on periactin to stimulate her appetite. idk, it didn't work tonight. We'll see, we're trying pediasure and just encouraging her to eat as much as possible. If she keeps losing weight the dr said that we may move on to more drastic steps, as this could start to stunt her growth an brain development. She's 5, within a year she's gone from being chubby and constantly eating to super skinny, like crackhead skinny, and we have to make her eat.

Try the Gatorade bars. When one of my kids got on ADHD meds we had to practically force food down his throat, but he'd eat these, and they are high in protein and calories. This is what I mean:

Amazon.com : Gatorade Whey Protein Recover Bars, Chocolate Caramel, 2.8 oz bars (12 Count) : Grocery Gourmet Food

Worked really well for us.

Mrs. Gravy · May 19, 2016

1. I am sorry to read of the loss Mr. Noodle, as wordy as I am, I don't have the right thing to write...so sorry.

2. Chaos...LD makes a good suggestion...
if it is medication related, perhaps a diff med?..Otherwise, I am again suggesting a good OT who has skill with sensory integration. I hope you can find the answer. Best wishes.

pharmakos · May 19, 2016

chaos -- have you tried smoothies / shakes? just as a starting point, this brand rocksBolthouse Farmswith a lot of different options for fruit/vegetable/protein shakes/smoothies. where i live they run about ~$3-4 for a 4 serving bottle. can also go the DIY route but i don't have any experience there because i'm lazy.

chaos · May 20, 2016

We've tried pediasure which is basically a shake. Idk, this medication think is rough, convincing a 5 year old to take a pill is hell. I think lurking recommended those bars before, will give them a try. Maybe do some cake or something for her in the mornings.

ZyyzYzzy · May 20, 2016

Deep fry everything? Seriously, though with our 2 year old when she lost weight from being sick, and didn't have an appetite the wife and I just started trying like every food under te sun. She now loves beats because it makes her poopy and pee pink.

Ao- · May 20, 2016

ZyyzYzzy_sl said:
Deep fry everything? Seriously, though with our 2 year old when she lost weight from being sick, and didn't have an appetite the wife and I just started trying like every food under te sun. She now loves beats because it makes her poopy and pee pink.

That's fucking awesome, and I'm gonna try it.

Mrs. Gravy · May 21, 2016

chaos_sl said:
We've tried pediasure which is basically a shake. Idk, this medication think is rough, convincing a 5 year old to take a pill is hell. I think lurking recommended those bars before, will give them a try. Maybe do some cake or something for her in the mornings.

In re the meds she takes - do they not have an alternate form?

chaos · May 21, 2016

She takes vivance, which is a pain to get her to take but she's used to it and we hide it in pudding or something, even though she knows it's there. Blatant bribery. The periactin, which is what the dr prescribes for her appetite, only comes in pill form. We have put a hold on giving her that. She took it Thursday night and was complaining of stomach pain,t hen took it again Friday and was curled up on the floor most of the day at school crying about her stomach with accompanying nausea and diarrhea. We took her to the pediatrician, probably just stomach bug, probably not the medication, but we all agreed to take her off it for a while. Also going to stop giving her the vivance on the weekend, see if we can't carb load her on the weekends of something.

lurkingdirk · May 21, 2016

chaos_sl said:
She takes vivance, which is a pain to get her to take but she's used to it and we hide it in pudding or something, even though she knows it's there. Blatant bribery. The periactin, which is what the dr prescribes for her appetite, only comes in pill form. We have put a hold on giving her that. She took it Thursday night and was complaining of stomach pain,t hen took it again Friday and was curled up on the floor most of the day at school crying about her stomach with accompanying nausea and diarrhea. We took her to the pediatrician, probably just stomach bug, probably not the medication, but we all agreed to take her off it for a while. Also going to stop giving her the vivance on the weekend, see if we can't carb load her on the weekends of something.

My son also takes vivance, and it's an appetite killer. He never has an issue with taking the pill, though. We tried the shakes for kids, pediasure or whatever, and he absolutely hated them. I tried them, and I can't blame him, they taste like shit.

Find whatever food she's in to at the time, and go bonanza. My son goes through phases where he wants nothing but waffles, so we make a lot of them. Sometimes it's biscuits and gravy, go nuts. Capitalise on whatever the flavour of the week is.

Ronaan · May 23, 2016

Noodleface_sl said:
Well the miscarriage has been confirmed. We had a glimmer of hope the other day when her blood levels were double what they were in the ER but today there is nothing there. We (well, I did.. she said she has..) have already come to terms with it a week or so ago. Just kind of shitty we had to wait so long to find out.

Ah shit, I feel your pain.
My wife also lost the kid that would have been #2, almost 2 years ago now. To make things worse she had to go see a different doctor because hers was on holiday, and he told her that no, she had not been pregnant, go away. Only a few days later did they call her back in because apparently you need to get some shot if you miscarry and still want to try again, or whatever.

Her aunt died right around that time so stress levels were not normal, that's for sure.

We tried again and it worked, kid is going to be a year June 10th. She's all full of sunshine, just now trying to stand up (bit slower than her bigger sister), always smiling.

Keep trying.

opiate82 · May 24, 2016

Interesting new research on "cry-it-out"It's OK to let your baby cry himself to sleep, study finds | Health - WMUR Home

What I like about this is rather than just using entirely feels-data they got some actual biological evidence. Small sample size caveat however.

The most important aspect of the study, Weinraub said, is that both sleep training techniques seem safe for babies in the short and long term.The researchers found that the levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, were lower in the babies during sleep training interventions.Moreover, one year after the interventions, the babies did not show signs of being more attached to their parents, nor did their parents report more behavioral problems compared with the babies in the control group.

"Parents have been told by some experts that children's stress levels will increase over time with these techniques and they will have behavioral problems, and this study shows very clearly, which I think is the first to do so, that there are no (poor) effects on children's stress levels and ... children in the intervention groups show less stress than children in the control condition," Weinraub said.

I still maintain that every baby is different and there is no one sure-fire method to get an infant to sleep regularly, but hopefully there will be a few less people accusing me of child neglect and abuse for (very successfully) using CIO with my daughter. Probably not actually, but at least I have something to throw back in their face if they do.

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